Tugging the Taffy
I am pulled and stretched,
meeting weekly production deadlines
on projects where all my "flex time"
to produce them early
was used
recovering from having 3 front teeth pulled,
and having 3 titanium screws implanted in my face,
and plenty of crying about it all
earlier this fall.
Oh, memories....
and so...
I am just working...
and trying to keep juggling
until my next surgery
(December 10)
and another week of recovery
in the Holiday Season crackle
between Wild Thing One
(my recorded show's production window)
and Wild Thing Two
(my live show's performance date)
and I'm working 6 and 7 days weeks
but it's fine,
it's fiiiiine!
Sailor and I are investing in a few things
like a new front fence and a new back shed
because owning a house
is wonderful
AND
awful.
Sailor has been digging holes
(postholes and foundations)
with manly fortitude
and savage martyrdom
to our hole-in-the-ground dreams.
While I painted a sky of sherbet-colored sunsetting clouds
on the ceiling of our entryway,
during periods of latenight insomnia -
and yet can't stand to do my laundry.
It's the end of the world as we know it,
and I feel fine!
And despite ignoring my generalized panic
there is incredible excitement on the horizon
alongside the avalanches of deadlines for deliverables
at my dreamjobbo.
My brother has been more a part of my life
this year
than he's been
since we lived in the same house as kids.
And I'm absolutely loving it.
For his Christmas/Birthday
I bought him tickets to a blaspheming Broadway hootenany
coming to Sal Tlay Ka Siti in January,
and he said I should come down
to use that second ticket
and we'll go to Sundance
while we're together
since that's happening to be THE SAME WEEK
an hour away from SLC.
Well, IF YOU INSIST!!
I'm also on the voting committee for our local international film fest,
previewing/vetting films
and seeing the local film nerd committee ratings...
so I could have a pretty good idea
what to see and recommend
while we're at Sundance!
*fingers crossed for something weird and Scandinavian*
In the meantime Sailor is scheduling his trip
to go to The Miniature Guild School
next summer
and we're trying to decide if together we're
terrified of failing
or
terrified of succeeding
or
terrified of Something Else
as we dive headfirst
into every day
as if there will be a tomorrow.
It's exciting,
but the bills are real (& scary),
and we're trying to make the ends meet
in a way so we can feel like we're growing
toward our goals
of persistent and indelible joy
despite the rivers of reality
raining straight down on our heads
reminding us
there is no escape,
there is only
HOPE
[of escape]
and the choices we make every day
Everyone else I know seems to be with me
teetering on the edge -
bargaining with their rising reasonable panic
for a variety of very good reasons
which are reported in the news each day
as we share this next step together in our shared existential crisis
which we pretend is only political
and that is above and beyond
the crazy poop any single person is wading through
in the average day-to-day
in this
[ooh baby-baby, it's a]
wild world.
Because it IS hard to get by
just upon a smile,
DAMNIT.
I can just try to hold on,
thank assorted gods for birth control
(or SCIENCE!)
and be grateful my life is a hectic mess
all my own.
I have no idea how parents do it.
[SPOILER!]
They go crazy, they cry a lot,.... and don't sleep,
that's how.
That's how it's going for me,
how's it going for you?
meeting weekly production deadlines
on projects where all my "flex time"
to produce them early
was used
recovering from having 3 front teeth pulled,
and having 3 titanium screws implanted in my face,
and plenty of crying about it all
earlier this fall.
Oh, memories....
and so...
I am just working...
and trying to keep juggling
until my next surgery
(December 10)
and another week of recovery
in the Holiday Season crackle
between Wild Thing One
(my recorded show's production window)
and Wild Thing Two
(my live show's performance date)
and I'm working 6 and 7 days weeks
but it's fine,
it's fiiiiine!
Sailor and I are investing in a few things
like a new front fence and a new back shed
because owning a house
is wonderful
AND
awful.
Sailor has been digging holes
(postholes and foundations)
with manly fortitude
and savage martyrdom
to our hole-in-the-ground dreams.
While I painted a sky of sherbet-colored sunsetting clouds
on the ceiling of our entryway,
during periods of latenight insomnia -
and yet can't stand to do my laundry.
It's the end of the world as we know it,
and I feel fine!
And despite ignoring my generalized panic
there is incredible excitement on the horizon
alongside the avalanches of deadlines for deliverables
at my dreamjobbo.
My brother has been more a part of my life
this year
than he's been
since we lived in the same house as kids.
And I'm absolutely loving it.
For his Christmas/Birthday
I bought him tickets to a blaspheming Broadway hootenany
coming to Sal Tlay Ka Siti in January,
and he said I should come down
to use that second ticket
and we'll go to Sundance
while we're together
since that's happening to be THE SAME WEEK
an hour away from SLC.
Well, IF YOU INSIST!!
I'm also on the voting committee for our local international film fest,
previewing/vetting films
and seeing the local film nerd committee ratings...
so I could have a pretty good idea
what to see and recommend
while we're at Sundance!
*fingers crossed for something weird and Scandinavian*
In the meantime Sailor is scheduling his trip
to go to The Miniature Guild School
next summer
and we're trying to decide if together we're
terrified of failing
or
terrified of succeeding
or
terrified of Something Else
as we dive headfirst
into every day
as if there will be a tomorrow.
It's exciting,
but the bills are real (& scary),
and we're trying to make the ends meet
in a way so we can feel like we're growing
toward our goals
of persistent and indelible joy
despite the rivers of reality
raining straight down on our heads
reminding us
there is no escape,
there is only
HOPE
[of escape]
and the choices we make every day
Everyone else I know seems to be with me
teetering on the edge -
bargaining with their rising reasonable panic
for a variety of very good reasons
which are reported in the news each day
as we share this next step together in our shared existential crisis
which we pretend is only political
and that is above and beyond
the crazy poop any single person is wading through
in the average day-to-day
in this
[ooh baby-baby, it's a]
wild world.
Because it IS hard to get by
just upon a smile,
DAMNIT.
I can just try to hold on,
thank assorted gods for birth control
(or SCIENCE!)
and be grateful my life is a hectic mess
all my own.
I have no idea how parents do it.
[SPOILER!]
They go crazy, they cry a lot,.... and don't sleep,
that's how.
That's how it's going for me,
how's it going for you?