What To Do When You're Not Doin'....
I had my video-conference Job Interview today,...
a job I'd really (really!) like,
but I might be too strong on soft-skills,
and a bit weak on my technical knowledge,
since it's been a long time since I've closed daily/monthly books,
or any kind of accounting.
I admit,
I need outside influence to study book-keeping.
It's not something I have gravitated toward,
and feel confident at doing cold,
after a long interstitial period.
I hear its a "millennial thing"
to think
you can learn to do anything,
if given the chance.
But, I think I can learn anything,
given the chance.
While waiting for my interview,
I pulled up a research paper on enhancing color
in dichrome gel holograms
because it's on 'my list'
to understand the process
in the hopes of learning to make holograms.
I am lucky, because the inventor of silver-film holography
wrote the paper,
and is a good friend.
This is the kind of stuff I do,
rather than take bookkeeping classes
even though I often do Admin work.
Whoops!
I forgot to expect the
"Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?" question.
I have the hardest time with this question,
because I don't believe
in planning
that way.
Maybe I simply don't understand it.
I remember a leadership class,
the prof pointed at me,
"WHAT'S YOUR PERSONAL MOTTO?"
he bellowed at me
after speechifying
that everyone should have one.
I startled for a second, speechless
then said
"Live, happily; die, eventually.....?"
I accidentally turned it into a question.
This is an accurate representation of the only plan
I've ever had.
Especially after being unemployed for 18 months,
and trying to start a new job,
where I don't know where it might take me.
I sputter and forget to turn the question into the
professionally-focused
ASPIRATIONS-IN-ACTION PLAN
rather than fall into
my natural inclination
toward an
undressed
existential questing
manifesting
guessed jesting
addressing only
the fuzzy lemon zest
of my unprocessed
self-possessed hope chest.
WHOOPS (again)!
To explain myself away,
I must say
a common comment
from friends,
family,
acquaintances,
and the like.... is
that I am apparently *very* happy
a vast majority of the time.
I squarely blame it on,
no expectations,
no plans.
And I gently resent
being prodded by assertions
that I should have such things
to qualify myself
as 'worthy'
of a chance
at new futures.
Truth escapes my lips
unless I plan a 'good lie'
to cover up
my deleterious honesty.
This exact problem
is how I gave my real phone number
to lots of dudes
who I did NOT want to give my number to.
Just like I gave my "number"
to my interview panel today
regarding my lack
of solid goals
for my own future
outside of,
"Whatever happens in the next 5 years,
is what happens over the next 5 years!"
a job I'd really (really!) like,
but I might be too strong on soft-skills,
and a bit weak on my technical knowledge,
since it's been a long time since I've closed daily/monthly books,
or any kind of accounting.
I admit,
I need outside influence to study book-keeping.
It's not something I have gravitated toward,
and feel confident at doing cold,
after a long interstitial period.
I hear its a "millennial thing"
to think
you can learn to do anything,
if given the chance.
But, I think I can learn anything,
given the chance.
While waiting for my interview,
I pulled up a research paper on enhancing color
in dichrome gel holograms
because it's on 'my list'
to understand the process
in the hopes of learning to make holograms.
I am lucky, because the inventor of silver-film holography
wrote the paper,
and is a good friend.
This is the kind of stuff I do,
rather than take bookkeeping classes
even though I often do Admin work.
Whoops!
I forgot to expect the
"Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?" question.
I have the hardest time with this question,
because I don't believe
in planning
that way.
Maybe I simply don't understand it.
I remember a leadership class,
the prof pointed at me,
"WHAT'S YOUR PERSONAL MOTTO?"
he bellowed at me
after speechifying
that everyone should have one.
I startled for a second, speechless
then said
"Live, happily; die, eventually.....?"
I accidentally turned it into a question.
This is an accurate representation of the only plan
I've ever had.
Especially after being unemployed for 18 months,
and trying to start a new job,
where I don't know where it might take me.
I sputter and forget to turn the question into the
professionally-focused
ASPIRATIONS-IN-ACTION PLAN
rather than fall into
my natural inclination
toward an
undressed
existential questing
manifesting
guessed jesting
addressing only
the fuzzy lemon zest
of my unprocessed
self-possessed hope chest.
WHOOPS (again)!
To explain myself away,
I must say
a common comment
from friends,
family,
acquaintances,
and the like.... is
that I am apparently *very* happy
a vast majority of the time.
I squarely blame it on,
no expectations,
no plans.
And I gently resent
being prodded by assertions
that I should have such things
to qualify myself
as 'worthy'
of a chance
at new futures.
Truth escapes my lips
unless I plan a 'good lie'
to cover up
my deleterious honesty.
This exact problem
is how I gave my real phone number
to lots of dudes
who I did NOT want to give my number to.
Just like I gave my "number"
to my interview panel today
regarding my lack
of solid goals
for my own future
outside of,
"Whatever happens in the next 5 years,
is what happens over the next 5 years!"