hello
so ive been feeling really weird about things lately.. first... rush week sucked.. not sucked like we didnt get anyone but sucked that it was very very very stressful... what can you do about that though.. fuck it...
then i feel weird about me... i dont really know if its that im depressed or what but i cant take a lot of people right now.. and the ones i can take im pushing them away... and i dont know why... i feel bad about it especially since most are graduating and because im doing it to tony... which is the worst part... he thinks that there is something wrong with him and thats why ive been acting weird but thats not it... its that im not happy.. im not happy with anything pretty much...
i remember when i was happy... really happy... nothing was wrong... i was pretty... skinny... i was a lot of things then... i just want it to be like that again..
the only time when i am remotely happy is when im at home... because its comfortable there.. im just not comfortable when im at school.. i like being here with my friends.. they make me cheer up... but its not the same... i guess the saying home is where the heart is, is true... and my heart isnt at lasalle.. its, sad to say, but its in reading.. where my family is.. and my bed.. and my own room... and my clean house... so needless to say i go home a lot to get back that little bit of sanity i have left.. and i dont really care if i go home every weekend.. i dont care if i miss some party.. im just not that into drinking and stuff like that anymore... oh well.. whatever...
on a happier note.. im going to be a cousin again for the 8th time in july... i cant wait for the baby to come.. im so excited for scotty and mary kate.. hopefully the baby is ok and doesnt need as much as katelyn does... speaking of katelyn.. i love that baby.. shes soooo cute and adorable... she makes me so happy...
well i must get ready for class.. adios..
then i feel weird about me... i dont really know if its that im depressed or what but i cant take a lot of people right now.. and the ones i can take im pushing them away... and i dont know why... i feel bad about it especially since most are graduating and because im doing it to tony... which is the worst part... he thinks that there is something wrong with him and thats why ive been acting weird but thats not it... its that im not happy.. im not happy with anything pretty much...
i remember when i was happy... really happy... nothing was wrong... i was pretty... skinny... i was a lot of things then... i just want it to be like that again..
the only time when i am remotely happy is when im at home... because its comfortable there.. im just not comfortable when im at school.. i like being here with my friends.. they make me cheer up... but its not the same... i guess the saying home is where the heart is, is true... and my heart isnt at lasalle.. its, sad to say, but its in reading.. where my family is.. and my bed.. and my own room... and my clean house... so needless to say i go home a lot to get back that little bit of sanity i have left.. and i dont really care if i go home every weekend.. i dont care if i miss some party.. im just not that into drinking and stuff like that anymore... oh well.. whatever...
on a happier note.. im going to be a cousin again for the 8th time in july... i cant wait for the baby to come.. im so excited for scotty and mary kate.. hopefully the baby is ok and doesnt need as much as katelyn does... speaking of katelyn.. i love that baby.. shes soooo cute and adorable... she makes me so happy...
well i must get ready for class.. adios..