...Just give me a chance to catch my breath...
When you're away I'm feeling empty.. I lose my mind.
But when you're around I take for granted..most of our time..
Honey you say that I'm cold..and sometimes I'm out of control..
Baby you know how I am at the end... You're always mine...
I don't mean to..when I hurt you..
But I need you.. I can show you..
Just let me be..when I'm crazy..
At the end you're..still my only..
Right when you're gone I really miss you...
You've got my heart..
When you come back...I just wanna kiss you..
And it tears you apart..
Honey..you make me stay..
Believe me..it's better this way.
Baby I'm true and I'm real..
I'm giving you all that I feel..
I don't mean to..when I hurt you..
But I need you.. I can show you..
Just let me be..when I'm crazy..
At the end you're..still my only..
Sweety..I'm trying my best...
To give you the most...and no less..
Darling.. I'm true and I'm real..
I'm giving you.. All that I feel..
I don't mean to..when I hurt you..
But I need you.. I can show you..
Just let me be..when I'm crazy..
At the end you're..still my only..
Ah yes....beautiful song.. Beautiful night as well..Not the one that's my music quote though.. =D Sorry! I feel...as though a large burden has been lifted from my chest.. however another has been placed.. To say this honestly, I'm frightened to tell what I feel right now...frightened to say what I'm going to say. I don't want to ruffle feathers...I don't want to sadden others....but to tell what I truly feel right now... To exclaim loudly.... three words to another.. I just don't know.. it is a big risk isn't it..? I've been told before though.. that the greatest treasures..come from the greatest risks.. So here goes nothing.
It was a common saturday...going to GH, then going home, stay up till three, then go to bed.. Well.. Things didn't exactly turn out in that manner. They changed, alot. Of course I'm still home, but I'm trying to gather my thoughts.. trying to figure out..whether it was a dream or not.. Here goes nothing.
The night was a usual night.. we all go to GH and play DDR, Keyboard Mania, Beatmania and a little bit of NFS: Underground. As well as Air hockey. w00t..However.. I can't really explain, but there was a very tense air tonight.. At any rate, everyone, I think, had a fun time. Well there was a bit of heated conversation at some points...there was aggervation, in the highest, frustration.. But there were laughs..and smiles. That's what made my day... Well.. As usual, I headed out around 11:40, with Corey. He was taking me home tonight. I swear...if I didn't have the friends I have.. well.. I don't think I'd be out usually..and what happened tonight..wouldn't of happened.
We were on our way home... and we listened to a few different tracks on a few different cds. The last one, it was called Lost Not Found, by Dirty Vegas.. It's about a five minute song.. and it's very nice. I like it, alot. There are various reasons for it.. They'll be listed, no worries. I like dragging this out as long as I can... =P
The first reason I liked it, is that the song itself had a beautiful harmony. I don't know why, but well, it was one that stuck with me, currently I'm dl'g it. =) It's just that good...
The second reason... well.. It's the reason I'm still trying to decifer reality from dreams.. Truly dejavu... I had a dream this morning around 11....a male figure and I were standing outside or sitting...which I can't remember...there was an orange light...it seemed to be raining a little.. We engaged in a kiss...and well.. that's all I can remember. Tonight....the very same thing happened..
We had just pulled into my driveway...and we sat there...talking a moment. I had undone my seatbelt, usual thing when you get out of a vehicle.. =P He seemed to be having a rough night.. so I said, "Give me a hug.. I need to get inside.." He was like, "I planned on it.." We sat there...holding each other for awhile...and he said
"You smell good.."
I grinned, saying, "Is that why you won't let go...?"
"Partially..."
"What's the other part..?" I looked up at him, I knew what it was...I just didn't want him to know I did...
"I think you know..."
"Yes... I do... but why don't you tell me?"
"Why tell...when I can show..?"
I looked at him, I felt my heart stop..I said, "Well..then..?"
It happened. Something that has been wanting to occur since last saturday night.. we kissed. I knew it would come sooner or later.....but it came alot sooner than I would of known.. I still don't remember much... except my heart is in my throat still....beating vigorously.. this smile's planted lazily on my face... I feel dizzy.. but that's starting to wear off.. Oddly... I still feel his lips against mine.. I know I'll sleep well tonight... He looked at me a moment when we pulled away.. and I was about to grab my sketch book and he said softly, "Wait.." I looked at him and tilted my head, he smiled, "One more..?" I nodded..and kissed him once more, afterward, he jokingly said, "That was...for the road.. heheh.." I smiled and said "Adios gato.."
Enough talking though...This has been continued for atleast thirty minutes of writing.... I'm done with my story telling...
For those of you who know our situation...if you're going to be negative about it...shove it. I know what I feel...and that's all that matters to me.. I don't know what will happen...but come what may. I'll live my life as I see fit... and this is how I see my path fit...
~Isis