Wrong Icon
This is my grammar/language/communication icon, but they "they took away" really fits how I feel right now.
I just got off the phone with doug. I ended it. I told him that I need to see someone more if I'm seeing him, and that I'm putting forth unreicprocated effort. If I didn't have feelings for him, I wouldn't care. But I do, and so I've been upset and hurting. So I give up... on us.
"Okay.... ? i guess im a little confused"
Me: "what are you confused about?"
"i thought i made things clear the last time we talked about this... that these weeks were gonna be a bit crazy."
I told him I'm sorry, but I just can't keep doing this. It hurts too much. We said our good nights and hung up.
afterwards, he texted, "well that sucked. thanks. have a good night then"
This is a rough time of year for him emotionally (for reasons that aren't mine to share), and I'm aware of that. But I offer to spend time with him, and he ignores my emotional buffet tables. I can only take so much rejection. If he were to call me and just ramble on about everything going on his head, that would make me feel like a part of his life. But, basically, I don't feel like I'm a part of his life at all. I somewhat feel that I have abandoned him during a hard time, but I can't keep wasting my own energy like this, and spinning my wheels.
I hope he decides that he doesn't want to lose me and tries to make a connection with me. But he was rather accepting about this, so I doubt he will. My heart is probably much more broken than his.
If you comment, please be aware that this post is not private.
I just got off the phone with doug. I ended it. I told him that I need to see someone more if I'm seeing him, and that I'm putting forth unreicprocated effort. If I didn't have feelings for him, I wouldn't care. But I do, and so I've been upset and hurting. So I give up... on us.
"Okay.... ? i guess im a little confused"
Me: "what are you confused about?"
"i thought i made things clear the last time we talked about this... that these weeks were gonna be a bit crazy."
I told him I'm sorry, but I just can't keep doing this. It hurts too much. We said our good nights and hung up.
afterwards, he texted, "well that sucked. thanks. have a good night then"
This is a rough time of year for him emotionally (for reasons that aren't mine to share), and I'm aware of that. But I offer to spend time with him, and he ignores my emotional buffet tables. I can only take so much rejection. If he were to call me and just ramble on about everything going on his head, that would make me feel like a part of his life. But, basically, I don't feel like I'm a part of his life at all. I somewhat feel that I have abandoned him during a hard time, but I can't keep wasting my own energy like this, and spinning my wheels.
I hope he decides that he doesn't want to lose me and tries to make a connection with me. But he was rather accepting about this, so I doubt he will. My heart is probably much more broken than his.
If you comment, please be aware that this post is not private.