(no subject)
Well I'm over Randy's with Brandon. We are watching Tyler. My favorite five year old! Well Im doing what most common live journal thing. complaining.
1) I am so stressed out.
2) This has been a overall crappy year.
3) Pre Calc sucks
4) I was just told something that does not make me happy and I do not like being unhappy.
5) My dad hardcore wants me to move out. WTF? Im 17 and im a good kid. God damn crazy man.
Tyler let my drink a juice box! Christine got her license. YAY! I just left Toni's party. I love everyone there.
Well thats it...... I need an awesome Jack quotes:
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
Whenever anyone says "I can't," it makes me wish he'd get stung to death by about ten thousand bees. When he says "I'll try," five thousand bees. ("I can," one bee.)
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone�s neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?
At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.
- Jack Handey
I bet if you were in some old west gang, and you were dragging a guy along the ground with your horse, It'd probably make you really mad to look back and see him reading a magazine.
- Jack Handey
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like �Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!� and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, �That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.� Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
- Jack Handey
ohhhhhh that can make anyone feel better!
1) I am so stressed out.
2) This has been a overall crappy year.
3) Pre Calc sucks
4) I was just told something that does not make me happy and I do not like being unhappy.
5) My dad hardcore wants me to move out. WTF? Im 17 and im a good kid. God damn crazy man.
Tyler let my drink a juice box! Christine got her license. YAY! I just left Toni's party. I love everyone there.
Well thats it...... I need an awesome Jack quotes:
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
Whenever anyone says "I can't," it makes me wish he'd get stung to death by about ten thousand bees. When he says "I'll try," five thousand bees. ("I can," one bee.)
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone�s neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?
At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.
- Jack Handey
I bet if you were in some old west gang, and you were dragging a guy along the ground with your horse, It'd probably make you really mad to look back and see him reading a magazine.
- Jack Handey
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like �Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!� and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, �That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.� Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
- Jack Handey
ohhhhhh that can make anyone feel better!