Brand New
I want a really stiff drink and a ciggarette.
And I want to sit in the dark and just consume the both.
But unfornatly I can't do that for a while.
It all started Tuesday night. I was studying at the engineering building with all my fellow engineering nerds who are probably negatively down on their life monday thru thursday. I knew that the next day I needed to the go to the docter.
I didn't sleep at all that night. I woke up in the middle of the night screaming and crying as to how much my side hurt.
I took Dr. Chens stupid structures test, and I can gaurentee that my fever had to have been around 103 when I took it. I went to the student health center and they sent me to the hospital. At the hospital my fever was 103.5, and I was there all day Wednesday till early Thursday morning and was discharged with pneumonia and a kidney infection. Ken was the one that took me there and stayed with me for a few hours. Adrienne brought me some really pretty flowers that are now outside my room on the dinning table and colleen came and got me and took me home.
I've been miserable ever since.
Because I am so sick I can't do anything. Literally anything. I can't get up, I can't lift anything, I can't run, I can't read (or couldn't till today), everything made me sick or vomit repeadly.
It's Halloween weekend. And everyone gets to go out. I am so glad I had great roomates to take care of me Wednesday and Thursday afternoon. But since Thursday afternoon they have treated me like I'm not even here. They had friends over and would go in to colleens room and lock the door, and then when they left for the night would come out and just say hi. I'm so fucking glad that just because I'm sick my friends have chosen to just forget about saying hi to me or coming to talk to me, since i'm stuckin in the fucking apartment all day anyways, just because I can't go out and party with them.
I'm not sure wheather this is a direct reflection on the fact that I might place too high an emphasis on what my roomates/friends do, but it has left me feeling stranded and some what disconnected this week. It's been pretty shitty that I can't do anything, but the other thing is i feel like I ahven't talked to anyone, accept for jon who acts as if I am not sick.
I really just dont know what to think. Today was the first day I left the apartment breifly to go to the store to get some juice, when I came back, I opened the door, everyone got quiet, looked at me and then immediently shifted their weighted away from me as if I didn't walk in the fucking room. And then when I walk through the room nobody even says hi or looks at me.
Guess what. My fucking roomate then has the nerve to go in everyones room to say goodbye to them before she leaves for work, and then strolls up to me and says, what are YOU so quiet?
I never want to be sick again. I realize why I am so busy now and either I am blowing something out of proportion or I am lacking some serious self confidence in my assumptions...
And I want to sit in the dark and just consume the both.
But unfornatly I can't do that for a while.
It all started Tuesday night. I was studying at the engineering building with all my fellow engineering nerds who are probably negatively down on their life monday thru thursday. I knew that the next day I needed to the go to the docter.
I didn't sleep at all that night. I woke up in the middle of the night screaming and crying as to how much my side hurt.
I took Dr. Chens stupid structures test, and I can gaurentee that my fever had to have been around 103 when I took it. I went to the student health center and they sent me to the hospital. At the hospital my fever was 103.5, and I was there all day Wednesday till early Thursday morning and was discharged with pneumonia and a kidney infection. Ken was the one that took me there and stayed with me for a few hours. Adrienne brought me some really pretty flowers that are now outside my room on the dinning table and colleen came and got me and took me home.
I've been miserable ever since.
Because I am so sick I can't do anything. Literally anything. I can't get up, I can't lift anything, I can't run, I can't read (or couldn't till today), everything made me sick or vomit repeadly.
It's Halloween weekend. And everyone gets to go out. I am so glad I had great roomates to take care of me Wednesday and Thursday afternoon. But since Thursday afternoon they have treated me like I'm not even here. They had friends over and would go in to colleens room and lock the door, and then when they left for the night would come out and just say hi. I'm so fucking glad that just because I'm sick my friends have chosen to just forget about saying hi to me or coming to talk to me, since i'm stuckin in the fucking apartment all day anyways, just because I can't go out and party with them.
I'm not sure wheather this is a direct reflection on the fact that I might place too high an emphasis on what my roomates/friends do, but it has left me feeling stranded and some what disconnected this week. It's been pretty shitty that I can't do anything, but the other thing is i feel like I ahven't talked to anyone, accept for jon who acts as if I am not sick.
I really just dont know what to think. Today was the first day I left the apartment breifly to go to the store to get some juice, when I came back, I opened the door, everyone got quiet, looked at me and then immediently shifted their weighted away from me as if I didn't walk in the fucking room. And then when I walk through the room nobody even says hi or looks at me.
Guess what. My fucking roomate then has the nerve to go in everyones room to say goodbye to them before she leaves for work, and then strolls up to me and says, what are YOU so quiet?
I never want to be sick again. I realize why I am so busy now and either I am blowing something out of proportion or I am lacking some serious self confidence in my assumptions...