Random Thoughts on April 1st, 2007
I haven't written in a month. I published the meanist article last week. I think i'll post that in a second. he asked me if it was written about him and I said I could lie or I could tell him the truth. We ended over me writting an article, kind of kicking him in the gut in a very semi-peronal way that only he or people close to me would know it was directed towards him and I hope we never speak again.
I hate these things I see in peoples profiles. Those generic paragraphs of crap that lots of girls have in their infos. But um I kind of like them today. I'm going to post them.
life doesn`t hurt until you think about how
much things have changed...
who you`ve lost along the way and
about how much of this
was your own fault.
"Missing someone is your hearts way of
reminding you that you love them"
As we grow up, we learn that even the person that wasnt supposed to ever let you down probably will You wil have your heart broken probably more than once & its harder every time. You'll break hearts too so remember how it felt when yours was broken You'll fight with your best friend. Youll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because , and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much & love like you've never been hurt; because every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you will NEVER GET BACK .
One day you're gonna want that girl. That girl that knew she wasn't perfect, but tried to be perfect for you. The girl that believed the scraps of you she was given were worth it, because something was better than nothing. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can't bring herself to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserve it. That girl who saw past your pretty eyes and treasured parts of you that no one else has ever appreciated. The girl who realizes she may never have your heart, but will carry the image of you in hers forever. The girl that sees this and still loves you. The girl that should have you, but doesn't.. Even though she deserves it.
I have this overwhelming sense again that i'm not completeing everything I need to be doing even though I have been studying ALOT more and going to work alot which really helps my time managment skills. I told Joe yesterday that I thought that this inevitable feeling of lurking doom is reflective of my unescapable premature departure. I think he thinks I'm morbid but how come my whole life I've felt like I didn't finish anything and that I have something left behind somewhere. Unfinished Buissness.
I'm worried about my dad. Alot. And some other older people. They get me thinking. About where i'm going who I am. I dont know who I am anymore. I know that it appears that I have everything together but or the past two weeks I feel like I've just been going through the strangest thing. I've never been so aware that I'm going through a major turning point in my life. I think this because:
-I have a semi-professional job for a girl my age in the field of work that I am going to be doing for the rest of my life and I am constantly confronted with all the great things that will come from it (which makes me nervous)
-I've completely changed the way i view at things that once seem entertaining or fun prior to the past two weeks.
-I've cut someone out of my life and felt good about it for once.
-I've gotten upset with my roomates about things that have never ever bothered me before and probably shouldn't.
-I dont want a boyfriend but I dont want casual flirtation either. This eagerness to give up personal freedoms for interpersonal dominance to generate a false sense of security and rendered me feeling out o control of the emotions in my life. And like Mary Lisa trained me to behave growing up "If we can control how we look, weight, act and our jobs and leisure activities in our lives, then how come we cannot control our emotions"... Justifable cold heart.
It all started around Spring Break. I feel like I am a completely different person. I dont know why. Kenndall told me she thinks I'm just maturing because she can see it too in the way I conduct myself with members of the opposite sex.
I dont know if I'm too young to be thinking about all these things, and my life, and money or maybe the people around me simply aren't.
Ok heres the Van Wilder-esk article. I got alot of crap for it. But i got alot of good feed back too. From some of the fraternity and sorority girls who have approached me on it I sense that they have more respect for me for writting this. Especially some of the fraternity guys.
College dating 101: Greek vs. non-Greek
Madeline Grimmer
Issue date: 3/27/07 Section: Opinion
Originally ran in UTimes 3/22/07
Being a female engineering student, in a major that is predominantly male, I tend to hear a lot of things about women and fraternities. In a way, I feel that if I were a nursing or education major, I would have a very different outlook on college males with the age range of 18-24.
I feel like sometimes I sit back and just quietly take everything in. I've found that a sufficient amount of the stories are coming from Fraternity members.
I'm not trying to stereotype anybody; it's just that sometimes, I listen to these stories and cannot help but feel they are representing these social organizations in very unrealistic ways. One could easily see a certain stigmatism between Greek members and non-Greek members.
I've dated a few people in college. Almost all of them were fraternity members. I'm not in a sorority and do not necessarily spend an exuberant amount of time at Greek parties, but I tend to get along socially with people who are as outgoing as I am, which usually tend to be Greek members. However, I know that my roommates would agree with me when I say that sometimes, I feel that I am viewed inadequately, compared to sorority members based on attitudes and prevailing notions of guys I have dated in the past.
I'm starting to see a pattern. It all started a few months ago. I was having a conversation with a group of people as to who holds "the upper hand" when it comes to relationships in college. Although my guy friends tried to argue that girls are mental controlists, in the end, we all agreed that men seem to usually call the shots. They are the party that usually select, initiate and end relations in college.
A study was done at State University of New York at Plattsburg on Fraternity and Sorority gender dominance. It compared responses from college students ages 18-24. What was stated in the study should really not be surprising.
The study covered interpersonal dominance based on a factor scale developed from nine attitude items. The conclusion showed a considerable difference in domineering attitudes among Greek and non-Greek students.
It found that for both genders, affiliation with Greek organization was mostly associated with traditional male dominant-female submissive attitudes.
The study also found that independent women were least likely to subscribe to traditional gender stereotypes and had more of a struggle when it came to dating in college.
I felt much better after reading the study. In the past, it seemed like I had overly analyzed the fact that I sometimes felt left out or simply not good enough when reflecting upon some of my past dating mishaps. Although I enjoy both the Greek functions I attend and all of my good friends in these organizations, it seems like it's taken me two years and a study to realize that a social network doesn't define who I am nor who I deserve to date.
It seems inevitable that a social class distinction will be played out in the college dating scene. However, I strongly feel that just because someone does not belong to a Greek organization that they should be unofficially limited to specific dating options.
I hate these things I see in peoples profiles. Those generic paragraphs of crap that lots of girls have in their infos. But um I kind of like them today. I'm going to post them.
life doesn`t hurt until you think about how
much things have changed...
who you`ve lost along the way and
about how much of this
was your own fault.
"Missing someone is your hearts way of
reminding you that you love them"
As we grow up, we learn that even the person that wasnt supposed to ever let you down probably will You wil have your heart broken probably more than once & its harder every time. You'll break hearts too so remember how it felt when yours was broken You'll fight with your best friend. Youll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because , and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much & love like you've never been hurt; because every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you will NEVER GET BACK .
One day you're gonna want that girl. That girl that knew she wasn't perfect, but tried to be perfect for you. The girl that believed the scraps of you she was given were worth it, because something was better than nothing. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can't bring herself to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserve it. That girl who saw past your pretty eyes and treasured parts of you that no one else has ever appreciated. The girl who realizes she may never have your heart, but will carry the image of you in hers forever. The girl that sees this and still loves you. The girl that should have you, but doesn't.. Even though she deserves it.
I have this overwhelming sense again that i'm not completeing everything I need to be doing even though I have been studying ALOT more and going to work alot which really helps my time managment skills. I told Joe yesterday that I thought that this inevitable feeling of lurking doom is reflective of my unescapable premature departure. I think he thinks I'm morbid but how come my whole life I've felt like I didn't finish anything and that I have something left behind somewhere. Unfinished Buissness.
I'm worried about my dad. Alot. And some other older people. They get me thinking. About where i'm going who I am. I dont know who I am anymore. I know that it appears that I have everything together but or the past two weeks I feel like I've just been going through the strangest thing. I've never been so aware that I'm going through a major turning point in my life. I think this because:
-I have a semi-professional job for a girl my age in the field of work that I am going to be doing for the rest of my life and I am constantly confronted with all the great things that will come from it (which makes me nervous)
-I've completely changed the way i view at things that once seem entertaining or fun prior to the past two weeks.
-I've cut someone out of my life and felt good about it for once.
-I've gotten upset with my roomates about things that have never ever bothered me before and probably shouldn't.
-I dont want a boyfriend but I dont want casual flirtation either. This eagerness to give up personal freedoms for interpersonal dominance to generate a false sense of security and rendered me feeling out o control of the emotions in my life. And like Mary Lisa trained me to behave growing up "If we can control how we look, weight, act and our jobs and leisure activities in our lives, then how come we cannot control our emotions"... Justifable cold heart.
It all started around Spring Break. I feel like I am a completely different person. I dont know why. Kenndall told me she thinks I'm just maturing because she can see it too in the way I conduct myself with members of the opposite sex.
I dont know if I'm too young to be thinking about all these things, and my life, and money or maybe the people around me simply aren't.
Ok heres the Van Wilder-esk article. I got alot of crap for it. But i got alot of good feed back too. From some of the fraternity and sorority girls who have approached me on it I sense that they have more respect for me for writting this. Especially some of the fraternity guys.
College dating 101: Greek vs. non-Greek
Madeline Grimmer
Issue date: 3/27/07 Section: Opinion
Page 1 of 2 next >
Originally ran in UTimes 3/22/07
Being a female engineering student, in a major that is predominantly male, I tend to hear a lot of things about women and fraternities. In a way, I feel that if I were a nursing or education major, I would have a very different outlook on college males with the age range of 18-24.
I feel like sometimes I sit back and just quietly take everything in. I've found that a sufficient amount of the stories are coming from Fraternity members.
I'm not trying to stereotype anybody; it's just that sometimes, I listen to these stories and cannot help but feel they are representing these social organizations in very unrealistic ways. One could easily see a certain stigmatism between Greek members and non-Greek members.
I've dated a few people in college. Almost all of them were fraternity members. I'm not in a sorority and do not necessarily spend an exuberant amount of time at Greek parties, but I tend to get along socially with people who are as outgoing as I am, which usually tend to be Greek members. However, I know that my roommates would agree with me when I say that sometimes, I feel that I am viewed inadequately, compared to sorority members based on attitudes and prevailing notions of guys I have dated in the past.
I'm starting to see a pattern. It all started a few months ago. I was having a conversation with a group of people as to who holds "the upper hand" when it comes to relationships in college. Although my guy friends tried to argue that girls are mental controlists, in the end, we all agreed that men seem to usually call the shots. They are the party that usually select, initiate and end relations in college.
A study was done at State University of New York at Plattsburg on Fraternity and Sorority gender dominance. It compared responses from college students ages 18-24. What was stated in the study should really not be surprising.
The study covered interpersonal dominance based on a factor scale developed from nine attitude items. The conclusion showed a considerable difference in domineering attitudes among Greek and non-Greek students.
It found that for both genders, affiliation with Greek organization was mostly associated with traditional male dominant-female submissive attitudes.
The study also found that independent women were least likely to subscribe to traditional gender stereotypes and had more of a struggle when it came to dating in college.
I felt much better after reading the study. In the past, it seemed like I had overly analyzed the fact that I sometimes felt left out or simply not good enough when reflecting upon some of my past dating mishaps. Although I enjoy both the Greek functions I attend and all of my good friends in these organizations, it seems like it's taken me two years and a study to realize that a social network doesn't define who I am nor who I deserve to date.
It seems inevitable that a social class distinction will be played out in the college dating scene. However, I strongly feel that just because someone does not belong to a Greek organization that they should be unofficially limited to specific dating options.