Peeled Grapes.
I spent most of my life trying to convince myself that I'm not a bad person. How can a few little thing someone accidentally says make me question myself?
In the past 36 hours I have:
been referred to as a slut
been assured that I'm a terrible girlfriend
had my perception of my personality and personability completely turned on it's head (turns out I'm a terrible friend too...)
The worst thing is that Joel isn't here. Second to Joel in preference of people to be with when I'm feeling desperately sad is my parents, and for the first time in my life they aren't here either. It's their first (and at this rate, it's also their last) holiday away together in over 23 years and I am NOT going to call them for this.
Joel's coming home tomorrow so I will wait for him. It's better that I don't taunt myself with the prospect of him "only being a phonecall away" because he's not just a phonecall away, he's in Victoria and I can't hug him or even see him and he isn't his usual "only three minutes drive away". Usually I would call him and then 3 minutes later I can see him.
Well, my hissy fit got me nowhere and now I feel like I'm the only person home on a Saturday night. Where would I go anyway?
I am learning (okay, maybe re-living, I must have watched this a hundred times as a kid) strong moral values from Richie Rich. I think I'm gonna force myself to leave the house after this.
I feel accomplished, I bought 2 dollar generic brand carpet cleaning spray and a large laundry scrubbing brush and now my carpet is very clean. I set up a shelving unit so magazines, records, CD's and videos can be out of the way now.
I didn't have to do any of it but I just sort of felt like doing it. People think I'm stupid for my cleaning and they react with horrified expressions of "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT!" and "Why don't you just sit down and relax?". I ENJOY cleaning. I am not affraid of mess. I don't do it out of boredom or neccesity, I do it because I find it interesting and it helps me to not be sedentry. It's good to keep moving and it keeps the CFS away.
I burned my finger badly cooking roast chicken breast for dinner. This has been my year for burns. And lumps. I can't even tell if the "quasi-celebrity cyst" on my back is getting bigger or smaller. I feel like Andy Kaufman though so I guess it's a keeper. Sure does hurt though...
"I am from Caspiar, an Island in the Caspian Sea. It sunk."
In the past 36 hours I have:
been referred to as a slut
been assured that I'm a terrible girlfriend
had my perception of my personality and personability completely turned on it's head (turns out I'm a terrible friend too...)
The worst thing is that Joel isn't here. Second to Joel in preference of people to be with when I'm feeling desperately sad is my parents, and for the first time in my life they aren't here either. It's their first (and at this rate, it's also their last) holiday away together in over 23 years and I am NOT going to call them for this.
Joel's coming home tomorrow so I will wait for him. It's better that I don't taunt myself with the prospect of him "only being a phonecall away" because he's not just a phonecall away, he's in Victoria and I can't hug him or even see him and he isn't his usual "only three minutes drive away". Usually I would call him and then 3 minutes later I can see him.
Well, my hissy fit got me nowhere and now I feel like I'm the only person home on a Saturday night. Where would I go anyway?
I am learning (okay, maybe re-living, I must have watched this a hundred times as a kid) strong moral values from Richie Rich. I think I'm gonna force myself to leave the house after this.
I feel accomplished, I bought 2 dollar generic brand carpet cleaning spray and a large laundry scrubbing brush and now my carpet is very clean. I set up a shelving unit so magazines, records, CD's and videos can be out of the way now.
I didn't have to do any of it but I just sort of felt like doing it. People think I'm stupid for my cleaning and they react with horrified expressions of "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT!" and "Why don't you just sit down and relax?". I ENJOY cleaning. I am not affraid of mess. I don't do it out of boredom or neccesity, I do it because I find it interesting and it helps me to not be sedentry. It's good to keep moving and it keeps the CFS away.
I burned my finger badly cooking roast chicken breast for dinner. This has been my year for burns. And lumps. I can't even tell if the "quasi-celebrity cyst" on my back is getting bigger or smaller. I feel like Andy Kaufman though so I guess it's a keeper. Sure does hurt though...
"I am from Caspiar, an Island in the Caspian Sea. It sunk."