I'll never see you again...
I'm going to post yesterday as two separate entries. Because the latter part is fresher in my mind and I have photos for the first part, but they are yet to be uploaded.
Last night was the When Sparks Fly reunion show. Previously known as Phylum Idiota... they were my favorite local band when I was in high school. I had amazing times getting drunk behind Club Safari and House of Aboriginal with Amber Over and Mikey and Jay Phillips and the the rest of the PDW crew. It always seemed like Phlyum was playing those clubs and I loved it. I was with them when they played a park gazebo out in Xenia and the whole thing got shut down by the cops, but not before I got to shout every word of Better Blocks. I bought their cd that day.
I think of shows at Grange Charity Hall and Knights of Columbus... I was at every single show. With Morgan, Janna, Stacy, Sandy, Betsy, Sarah, Lindsay, Nathan, Megan, Kyle, Matt, Justin, Jeff, Erik, Justin and William, Brent, Ravi, Timmy, Dave, Darrell... I could name people for days.
The point is I never see these people anymore. There are a couple I still consider friends and I'm grateful to still have them in my life and see from time to time, even if only at shows. The others, well, they evidently don't even see fit to make eye contact with me anymore.
It's interesting, looking around the room last night. It really showed you why there scene collapsed on itself.
Looking around the room thinking about how many people had fucked each other or just fucked each other over. How many people were in bands that broke up, how many people who were in relationships that exploded, how many people who chose hoes over bros or vis versa... it's really something to think about. The years and years of "scene politics" and drama. There were a lot of people who were uncomfortable around some other the people there. A lot of people avoiding each other and trying not to stare. But they were all there for one thing and that was watch this fucking band play. This band that we all used to go see 6 years ago, 7 years ago, 8 years ago... and even high school's over... even though we're moving on... even though we're not 18 minus 2 any more... we can't all stand in the same goddamn room together, after all these years of holding grudges. We can't even force a smile for one night to reminisce.
It's fine. I mean, it's alright with me. I guess, we're all adults and if we don't want to revisit those years and those things and people, that's fine. I guess we don't need to. I had a brief moment of insanity, where I thought maybe we could, but I know now there's no chance of that.
All in all, I was with my real friends, my true friends last night. the people who have carried me through the last few years of my life, with my head held high. The people who care about me the most. And that's what matters.
But none of them were there for Phylum Idiota with me at Club Safari. None of them danced with me in the front row like idiots, no matter what, ever single show at K of C. None of those people know what the house on Smithville was or what parts of the songs to clap at or what the unspoken harmonies are that we all just knew to sing. So I thought, maybe for last night we could pretend we all don't hate each other for whatever reasons we don't even remember.
Janna, I love you to pieces :) You were adorable last night and it made me smile to see you in the crowd up there :) I would have been right there with you, if I wasn't horrified I was going to break my glasses.
All in all, I jumped up and down in high heels, I sang my heart out, I got pushed around and pushed down, I thought a lot about the past, present and future and it was a good night.
Thanks When Sparks Fly, for keeping it real.
Last night was the When Sparks Fly reunion show. Previously known as Phylum Idiota... they were my favorite local band when I was in high school. I had amazing times getting drunk behind Club Safari and House of Aboriginal with Amber Over and Mikey and Jay Phillips and the the rest of the PDW crew. It always seemed like Phlyum was playing those clubs and I loved it. I was with them when they played a park gazebo out in Xenia and the whole thing got shut down by the cops, but not before I got to shout every word of Better Blocks. I bought their cd that day.
I think of shows at Grange Charity Hall and Knights of Columbus... I was at every single show. With Morgan, Janna, Stacy, Sandy, Betsy, Sarah, Lindsay, Nathan, Megan, Kyle, Matt, Justin, Jeff, Erik, Justin and William, Brent, Ravi, Timmy, Dave, Darrell... I could name people for days.
The point is I never see these people anymore. There are a couple I still consider friends and I'm grateful to still have them in my life and see from time to time, even if only at shows. The others, well, they evidently don't even see fit to make eye contact with me anymore.
It's interesting, looking around the room last night. It really showed you why there scene collapsed on itself.
Looking around the room thinking about how many people had fucked each other or just fucked each other over. How many people were in bands that broke up, how many people who were in relationships that exploded, how many people who chose hoes over bros or vis versa... it's really something to think about. The years and years of "scene politics" and drama. There were a lot of people who were uncomfortable around some other the people there. A lot of people avoiding each other and trying not to stare. But they were all there for one thing and that was watch this fucking band play. This band that we all used to go see 6 years ago, 7 years ago, 8 years ago... and even high school's over... even though we're moving on... even though we're not 18 minus 2 any more... we can't all stand in the same goddamn room together, after all these years of holding grudges. We can't even force a smile for one night to reminisce.
It's fine. I mean, it's alright with me. I guess, we're all adults and if we don't want to revisit those years and those things and people, that's fine. I guess we don't need to. I had a brief moment of insanity, where I thought maybe we could, but I know now there's no chance of that.
All in all, I was with my real friends, my true friends last night. the people who have carried me through the last few years of my life, with my head held high. The people who care about me the most. And that's what matters.
But none of them were there for Phylum Idiota with me at Club Safari. None of them danced with me in the front row like idiots, no matter what, ever single show at K of C. None of those people know what the house on Smithville was or what parts of the songs to clap at or what the unspoken harmonies are that we all just knew to sing. So I thought, maybe for last night we could pretend we all don't hate each other for whatever reasons we don't even remember.
Janna, I love you to pieces :) You were adorable last night and it made me smile to see you in the crowd up there :) I would have been right there with you, if I wasn't horrified I was going to break my glasses.
All in all, I jumped up and down in high heels, I sang my heart out, I got pushed around and pushed down, I thought a lot about the past, present and future and it was a good night.
Thanks When Sparks Fly, for keeping it real.