Paper Planes (3/?)
Paper Planes (3/?)
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol, Kris/Baekhyun, side!Luhan/Kris
Genre: Romance, Drama, University!AU
Word Count: 5k+
Summary: Not everyone can dismiss curiosity easily, is what Chanyeol wants to tell Yixing, because the whole morning, he couldn’t stop thinking about the man who lives behind the mysterious door.
“What are you doing here?” was the first thing Chanyeol hears when he opens the door to the rooftop. He sees Baekhyun sitting at the railings, his back turned to him.
Chanyeol shrugs. “I don’t know…I just thought I’d come.” He says as he moves towards Baekhyun slowly. Baekhyun turns to him halfway and slightly chuckles at his expression.
“I’m not gonna jump, don’t worry,” Baekhyun announces as he faces back towards the railings. “I thought of it though but if I fall down there, my body would get distorted and there will be blood everywhere and it’ll just be ugly. I don’t want to die ugly. At least I should give people a good portrait of my dead body.”
“Don’t say that,” Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol when he sits, slightly caught off guard with his remark. “I mean, it’s not ideal to talk about your death or how you die.”
Baekhyun smiles at him. “Maybe you’re right. But I like it anyway. It reminds me of why I still haven’t jumped until now,” It’s not just some absurd simple reason. “I wonder what it feels like to fly. Not like birds. Birds can still feel. Maybe something more…inanimate. Like paper planes.”
“You want to be a paper plane?”
Baekhyun contemplates for a bit and Chanyeol watches how his lips purse and how the wind breaks into his face. “I guess, yeah. Paper planes can fly. People can just shape them differently, make them randomly, like you sit in front of the TV and you see a paper and then you have this sudden urge to fold it into something, into a paper plane. And then you throw it in the air and it falls down and you make another one. There’s no…feeling. No connection. It’s just paper. An object and a living person. Nobody gets hurt, not even during the fall.”
Chanyeol snorts. “So in conclusion, you don’t want to feel anything?”
“If it’s pain then yeah,” Baekhyun says silently, almost like a whisper, but Chanyeol can hear it perfectly. “Some people think that just because you’re broken, you have no problem getting hurt. If it’s that simple, there won’t be any broken ones. Ignorance is bliss.”
Chanyeol tried to decipher if there’s something in that phrase that he could very much connect to him or if Baekhyun was talking about him. Some people could mean the society outside Baekhyun’s mind, outside himself, and if that’s the case then he’s very much inside that circle. Strangers passing by, giving him the looks, gossiping. He doesn’t want to be part of some people.
“You must think I’m weird,” Baekhyun says with a light chuckle, sounding like angels to Chanyeol’s ear. “Sorry you had to witness that earlier. It doesn’t normally happen. Well, I guess it will from now on.”
“You don’t have to worry,” Sometimes, it’s also so surprising Chanyeol can respond like that. “My dad told me before I only see things, not feel them.”
Baekhyun croons before breaking into a large grin. “I’ve always had that impression of you! Good to know I wasn’t wrong. I thought you’d freak out but I guess you’re cool.” The university chimes echo around them. “Oh shit, hey, aren’t you going to leave? You’re gonna be late.”
“What about you?”
“Nah, I don’t really feel going,” To his surprise, Chanyeol, along with that smug face of his, suddenly grabbed his hand and started pulling him. “I’m just going to pretend you’re not shamelessly grabbing my hand and ask, where the fuck are we going?”
Chanyeol turns his head to him. “We’re cutting classes!”
Baekhyun isn’t particular sure if this is a good idea but as he contemplates inside his head, Chanyeol has already dragged him all the way to the exit gate and Baekhyun finds himself wishing this won’t be one of the things he’d regret saying no to in the future.
“This place…” Baekhyun breathes as he stares into the familiar space.
“Cool, right!” Chanyeol chirps coming up beside him. “Yixing and the others took me here before class started.
“And I took them here.”
“Oh. Oh.”
“I was here before you?” Baekhyun reasons. He watches Chanyeol’s expression change to something he can confidently say is disappointed. He winces. He never had to figure out Chanyeol’s expressions before and a part of him says that maybe he’s starting to care because he’s starting to see his feelings. Or maybe he’s already used to seeing the same expressions on Chanyeol’s face that a sudden change pulls him with guilt. “It’s okay,” He says, sighing. “It’s been a long time since I came here anyway.”
They’re on a lake. To some people, it’s just another lake but to Baekhyun it’s more than that. It served as his escape before everything went extremely wrong that he can no longer feel the solitude he found here. The lake isn’t clean but it’s not particularly dirty either. It has experienced many rainy days. It’s a 20-minute drive from the school. Nobody really comes here because everyone seems to think that walking around the area behind the school is dangerous when in fact there are more dangers inside the school walls.
He notices the big logs on the water and he turns to the broken trees. It seems like a storm has damaged the place. As he looks into the broken trunks, the dead leaves and the mud surrounding the water, he kind of sees a reflection of himself.
“Here.”
Baekhyun almost jumps when he feels a sudden coldness piercing his skin and Chanyeol laughs at him. He purses his lips as he takes the soda can from Chanyeol. “Where did you get these?”
“I snatched them from the vending machine when we were running at school earlier.” Baekhyun surely did not notice that given the state of his mind so he drops the subject. “So, you said it’s been a long time since you came here. I take it you haven’t come here in a while?” Baekhyun nods as he leans on the trunk of a large tree. “Why?”
Baekhyun shrugs as he pulls the lid of the can. “It used to be fun. I come here with my friends because like me, they used to look for a place away from school to think clearer. Now it’s just me. And I get reminded of how they forgot about who I was before I forgot about it myself. They think everything that comes out from my mouth now is bullshit.” And as always Baekhyun can only think of how they must’ve gotten tired of him being the dead end. Nothing comes after. It’s just that.
“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol says. “But what exactly happened?”
Baekhyun turns his head slowly. “Why would I tell you that?”
“You said a lot of things but you’re not gonna tell me what happened?” Chanyeol asks with a slight gasp.
“Did you bring me here to ask?” Baekhyun laughs loudly at Chanyeol’s expression. “I don’t even know you that well!”
“Fine, then!” Chanyeol announces as he stands proudly in front of Baekhyun. “Let’s play honesty hour!”
“Honesty hour?”
Chanyeol nods. “It’s a way of getting to know each other well. We have to swear to only tell the truth about ourselves for an hour.”
“An hour?” Baekhyun repeats incredulously.
“Fine. Honesty half-an-hour.”
Surprisingly, even though Baekhyun isn’t so sure if the odds will be in his favor, he ended up saying, “Game. You start,” Chanyeol stares at him. “What? It’s your idea. It’s called courtesy.” Baekhyun adds as he skips to the edge of the lake, where the water hits his shoes lightly. Chanyeol watches him carefully hopping on one of the logs, maintaining equilibrium by taking one step at a time with his arms spread on his side, before starting.
“Alright, my name is Park Chanyeol,”
“Nice to meet you, Park Chanyeol!” Baekhyun replies with his eyes fixed on his steps.
Chanyeol laughs. “187 cm, blood type A*, went to Gangnam-gu-“
“Blah blah blah, boring,” Baekhyun stops and stands straight. “Siblings?”
Chanyeol sighs. “One older sister. I play the guitar-“
“Yixing must have been thrilled.”
“-and the drums.”
“I hate drums.”
Chanyeol pauses. “Good to know. Also, I’m-“
“Rich.” Baekhyun grins.
“I was going to say ferret lover but I guess Yixing told you that so instead of denying, I’ll just clear up some misunderstandings. My dad is rich. Apparently, so is my sister who’s a fashion designer.”
Baekhyun shrugs. “The ferret would’ve been boring.” Truth to be told, with his life undergoing an eternal rollercoaster life, he needs something that could at least make the ride thrilling. He sits on the grass, the clean part of the whole area, and invites Chanyeol to sit beside him, where the giant continued to take up half-an-hour of the honesty time with Baekhyun’s, sometimes, useless questions.
Questions like how he spent all the money he had kept Baekhyun pulled away from Chanyeol’s proposed subject, so finally at the fifth time he brought it up, Chanyeol made it clear, with huge emphasis, that he never spent or used any of his father’s money (except of course for school and miscellaneous fees) because, unlike his sister, he’s never really had a dream and he never had to need money. It’s all given to him and sometimes, more often than not, they just sit on a transparent jar in his room. And then, Baekhyun’s next question was what his room looked like. Useless questions.
“How about your friends?” Baekhyun asks, slightly occupied with the birds now filling up most of the sky’s scenery that he missed Chanyeol’s expression change. When he still doesn’t get a reply, he turns to Chanyeol and finds the latter staring to an empty space. “Chanyeol? Your friends?”
“Oh, uh,” Chanyeol shakes his head. “No personal questions, remember?”
Baekhyun gapes slightly. “You told me about that one time you had an erectile dysfunction but asking about your friends is personal?” Chanyeol nods. “Jesus, good thing you didn’t attempt to give comments about my relationship with my friends-wait, no, past friends, because I’ll slap you in the penis.”
Chanyeol clears his throat as he tries to erase the image in his mind. “A very good thing.” He glances in his watch and smiles. “Alright, time’s up. Your turn.”
Baekhyun clicks his tongue, looks around for a moment, before finally speaking. “Okay, my name is Byun Baekhyun,” Chanyeol stares at him and he laughs. “Fine, what do you want to know?”
A lot of things, Chanyeol thought. He could have a list but he’s pretty sure it’d take up one Manila paper back to back and he doesn’t really want to freak Baekhyun out. So he goes with, “What kind of music do you like?”
Judging by that sudden silence, Baekhyun was caught off guard but at the same time relieved. “Anything, actually. But most likely pop because yeah, as you already know, I’m a DJ and you can’t play ballad songs in a club or they’ll throw you out.”
Chanyeol chuckles. “How did you become a DJ?”
Baekhyun tilts his head, thinking deeply. “I don’t know…oh, uh,” He sits up straight, slightly feeling about excited when he finally remembers. “Before, me and my friends used to go to the club and I’m always at the stage because I look stupid when I dance so I avoid the dance floor and then I just started playing with the turntable and the DJ, who turned out to be Kris’ friend, asked me if I was interested in learning how to manipulate the turntable and I guess I said yes because then I’d have a real reason not to dance whenever we go the club,” He nods. “It was stupid but it has become my escape route, especially when I needed one the most.”
“When you and Kris broke up?” Chanyeol says, attempting to redirect the conversation in which Baekhyun does not appreciate but it’s not like it’s something that he can avoid forever anyway.
“No,” Baekhyun replies. “Breaking up with Kris, I was okay, what really hurt me was how my friends turned their backs on me when they saw how fucked up I’ve become. Like, they can’t deal with my shit anymore. I wouldn’t have gotten worse if they were there when I drowned myself in drinks, misbehaved every opportunity I had, but maybe they thought that if they don’t stay away, they’ll be dragged down to the ugly side,” He laughs his pain and Chanyeol cringes. “And I guess people just jumped on the bandwagon of hating me.”
“Your friends don’t hate you,” Chanyeol says immediately. “I mean, they can’t, because they know getting hurt is inevitable and there’s no way you could’ve saved yourself from it. Maybe they think that they can’t fix you, that they weren’t what you needed.”
“They didn’t have to fix me. I can fix myself. They just had to be there.” Baekhyun sighs as he pulls his knees to his chest to lean his head.
“I’m here,”
Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol and smirked. “You’re stupid.”
“What? Why? No, I mean it-“
“Shh,” Baekhyun stretches out and slowly lies down the grass, closing his eyes.
“What are you doing? Your 30 minutes isn’t even done yet-“
“Whatever. I’m bored.”
Chanyeol pouts. “That’s unfair.”
“Shut up and lie down with me.”
Baekhyun likes it. The feeling of the wind softly brushing against his body, the sound of the water, the rustling leaves, the birds flying around, it’s his idea of solitude and what’s better is that he doesn’t have to think of how the place reminded him of the broken relationship with his friend because with Chanyeol here, it’s going to remind him of something different now.
Baekhyun hears broken leaves on the ground and opens his eyes immediately when Junmyeon bends down above him. He blinks. “Hi Junmyeon.”
“Junmyeon-shii!” Chanyeol yells in surprise, standing up abruptly.
Junmyeon nods at him before turning back down to Baekhyun. “I was sent to look for someone, not you of course, though never would I have guessed I’d see you here.” Junmyeon replies, sighing.
“You know you don’t have to take your Student Council position to a whole new level,” Baekhyun says while sitting up, brushing off the dirt on his shirt and hair in the process.
“Well, the teachers don’t like it when the star student is missing in their class, again, not you of course, him.” Junmyeon turns to Chanyeol who was still in shock. “Weren’t you supposed to do a presentation in Parasitology class?”
“Ah!” Chanyeol exclaims when an imaginary light bulb lights up in his head. “I forgot!”
Junmyeon raises an eyebrow. “Did you?”
“I’m sorry!” Chanyeol bows down. “I’ll talk to the teacher!”
Junmyeon heaves out a heavy sigh. “Come on. We need to go back.”
When Junmyeon started walking back to his car parked by the road, Baekhyun immediately ran beside Chanyeol. “You had a presentation?”
Chanyeol smiled stupidly. “I forgot.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Baekhyun lets himself gets left behind with Chanyeol’s large steps and as he watches Chanyeol’s back, he realizes that maybe he’s starting to do something his friends were scared of.
They were only 10 minutes away from school when Chanyeol announced they needed to stop by the convenience store because Yixing texted him, asking him to buy something that apparently you couldn’t find at the school’s own grocery. Junmyeon is refilling the tank while Chanyeol’s still inside the store. And Baekhyun, seated shotgun with his legs on the windows, decided to play with some chips by throwing it up and catching it with his mouth.
“You know,” Junmyeon says from outside. “If you wanted to cut classes, you didn’t have to drag him with you.”
“I didn’t drag him with me. He dragged me with him,” When Baekhyun notices Junmyeon’s figure by the window, he turns and Junmyeon is staring at him like he’s demanding for a better lie than that. “You don’t believe me.” Baekhyun concludes and Junmyeon looks away, sighing. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t need you to believe me. You can just ask him yourself.”
“Baekhyun, you know I care for you.”
“You care for everyone,” Baekhyun deadpans. “But since you’re not always with everyone, you don’t know what the situation is. And when you finally realize what’s happening around you, you’re going to hate me too.”
“You know I’m not like that.”
“I don’t know what kind of person you really are, Junmyeon.”
“Stop shutting every-“
“I’M BACK!” Chanyeol yells loudly while jumping at the backseat, oblivious to the obvious tension between his two companions. The tank also went full just in time.
When Chanyeol arrives back at the dorm, Yixing doesn’t ask anything else except for the box of soda he asked him to buy. Chanyeol isn’t really expecting his roommate to throw even a tiny bit of interest in his life but in his mind, he thinks that having someone wanting to get involved with him would be nice.
“Thanks. You’re a lifesaver.” Yixing tells him after grabbing one can from the box.
Chanyeol watches Yixing open the can and asks while dropping his bag on the floor. “What do you need a Dr. Pepper for?”
“Reasons,” Yixing simply answered. “The school doesn’t have this kind of drinks here. They only things they have here are products of Nestle. I mean, not to degrade Nestle, Nestle is cool, but sometimes it’s nice to have some Budweiser here.”
“You’re crazy,” Chanyeol chuckles.
“Hey, it’s college! When we get treated like high school students, it’s always recommended to file a lawsuit!”
“Have you ever filed one?”
“Nah,” Yixing shrugs. “Junmyeon does all of that. If you’re curious as to how many teachers have been fired because of our complaints, ask him. Man, you’d never guess he could be that vicious against student freedom oppressors. He’s always in our side but he fakes a front to make the board thinks he’s on their side. It’s natural talent, I tell you.”
And there, Chanyeol wonders, which is Junmyeon’s real fake front. People aren’t mind readers. Yixing isn’t. There’s even no way of telling if what he’s sprouting is the truth. “Perks of being a Law student, I guess,” Yixing adds. He notices Chanyeol spacing out and throws a can on him in which the giant immediately catches before it hit his head. “Go drink.”
“I don’t-“
“Oh come on, it’s just a drink.”
After several useless contemplations in his head, he ended up taking a sip. He nods. “It’s good.”
Yixing flashes him a sly smile. “I hope you had a great time outside the school.” He says before spinning his computer chair back to face his PC, leaving Chanyeol wondering.
“You’re not…gonna ask what I was doing outside the school?” Chanyeol inquires though unsure if he should be asking to be honest since he may or may not have a clue that Yixing doesn’t really care.
Yixing snorts. “Why would I?” Yep. He shouldn’t have asked. “I mean, you’ll tell me anyway even though you know I’m like 0.1% interested.” Chanyeol glares at him and Yixing just laughs. “Besides, I may not know why you were outside the school but at least I have an idea judging by the fact that Baekhyun wasn’t present too. And we all know something like that will never be a coincidence.”
“You say a lot of things.” Chanyeol deadpans.
“You like it.” Chanyeol fakes a vomit. “So? Aren’t you going to tell me anything?”
Chanyeol had thought of asking Yixing about the real issue with Baekhyun instead when the question was raised but the relative reason had him tongue tied and he couldn’t seem to take his mind off the image of Baekhyun sitting on the railings of the rooftop, scared to admit that he looked like he belonged there. “He thought of dying.” He says instead and Chanyeol notices the subtle twitch Yixing’s eyes made. Baekhyun had told him, convinced him, that dying for him is a form of art, that if it meant having to get his face distorted, then it’s not something he would most likely to do. But Chanyeol knows that once a person has taken dying into deep thought, the curiosity stays for pleasure. “Why is it that he did to be treated like shit, enough that he even thought of dying?”
Yixing spins his chair around. “It’s none of your concern.”
“Yixing-“
“Don’t worry.” Yixing cuts off. “He’s not going to kill himself.” He hasn’t done anything yet.
“Chanyeol?”
Chanyeol stands up from the bench immediately in response to the call. He sees his female classmate peeking from inside the faculty’s lounge, gesturing for him to come inside. Once inside, he greets the professors, familiar and unfamiliar ones. When he finds Professor Lee on his desk, he immediately gives him an apologetic smile. Mr. Lee gestures for him to sit.
“You didn’t show up for your presentation last Thursday Mr. Park.” Mr. Lee starts as he signs some thesis papers on his desk.
Chanyeol chuckles nervously. “Uh, I was-“
“Mr. Byun,” Chanyeol perks up. “Was also not around. Were you with him?”
Chanyeol tries to think of a reason why such question is relevant until something hits him. It could just be random question but he doubts so. “No, I overslept, sir.”
Mr. Lee lifts his head to look at him and smiles. “Very good.” He closes the last file before sitting up straight. “Listen, Mr. Park. We normally don’t give special treatments to students mainly because they don’t deserve it but you have shown respectable results so I have decided to give you one more chance.” Chanyeol immediately lights up. “But, you’ll have to do the presentation in front of the seniors.”
Chanyeol nods happily. “Yes, I’ll be glad to!”
Mr. Lee smiles for a second. “Alright, see you next Thursday then.”
“Thank you sir!”
“HELLO!”
Chanyeol almost stumbles back inside the faculty’s lounge when Baekhyun’s high pitched voice and excited face greets him while opening the door. “Hey. How did you know I was here?”
“We’re in the same class.” Baekhyun answers as-a-matter-of-factly. “Mr. Lee wanted to talk to me too but I don’t want to talk to him so screw it.”
Chanyeol chuckles as he walks with Baekhyun. “I wish I had your balls.”
“Sorry but all they can do is bear with me for the next three semesters since they can’t really kick me out given that my family is one of the stakeholders of this school.”
Chanyeol crooks his eyebrows as he stares at him, trying to find a hint of ridicule in his face but he can never know when Baekhyun is joking. “You serious?”
Baekhyun chuckles. “You don’t believe me?”
“You’ve never mentioned that before!”
“Why would I mention that?”
“I don’t know because we have honesty half-an-hour? And the only things you told me were how your first dog died, how your second dog died, how your turtle got washed up by the flood and how your pet fish’ aquarium broke and you found it on the floor grasping for air when you got home from school.”
“Excuse, those are the personal secrets I don’t normally give out to the universe!”
Chanyeol ruffles his hair playfully and Baekhyun shoves him away, pouting while fixing his hair. “Wanna go to the cafeteria?” He asks and Baekhyun stops walking. He turns to Baekhyun who’s frowning.
“Do you want to?” Baekhyun asks and Chanyeol curses in his head for forgetting that for the past week, Baekhyun refuses to set foot in the cafeteria, the reason being he wants to avoid another round of confrontation from Yixing and the others.
Chanyeol chuckles nervously. “No, I mean, I was just asking. Where do you want to go this time?”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure!” Chanyeol announces as he grabs Baekhyun’s hand. “Come on, where do you want to eat?”
Baekhyun couldn’t answer, not because he doesn’t have anything in mind, but because the only thing in his mind is the warmth he can feel from Chanyeol’s hand, taking him back to the days where he needed one the most, making him remember how such absence has ruined him. He pulls back his hand immediately. “There’s a small restaurant near the bus stop,” He says while walking, ignoring the sudden silence from Chanyeol, possibly because of the sudden action. “We can go there.”
Chanyeol follows him immediately. “Okay.”
Chanyeol doesn’t really know why he couldn’t seem to stop following Baekhyun. He doesn’t even remember when it started. But at the back of his mind he knows that the reason why he can’t leave him alone is because he was scared that Baekhyun will do something to himself.
Baekhyun stares out the window and watches strangers pass by, some alone, some in pairs, and he wonders to himself if there was ever a time when they felt like their world is crumbling around them. And it gives him hope. Because if some of them ever did, then maybe someday he’ll learn to smile like that too.
“You know it just hit me,” is what Chanyeol says first when he comes back with their food. “We were given a list of the stakeholders or members of the board of the school at the orientation but none of them definitely has Byun as a last name.”
Baekhyun smirks as he turns to him. He can’t believe he’ll actually meet someone who read the stupid handout the teachers give on the day of the orientation. “So?”
“So, you were lying.” Chanyeol says confidently. “You were, right?”
Baekhyun shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe yes, maybe no.”
And this is where the dilemma is-Chanyeol can never know when Baekhyun is lying or not. He starts to unwrap the burger. “Let’s do honesty half-an-hour then.”
Baekhyun glowers at him. “Can’t you let me eat first?”
“You eat like a baby who gets distracted by everything so there isn’t really a difference.”
Baekhyun pouts. “Fine then.” He sits up straight. “Okay. My family is rich, obviously because we’re one of the stakeholders, and we also have several hotels and restaurants. I have two older brothers, one a lawyer and the other, a fresh graduate of civil engineering.”
“And the Byun?” Chanyeol asks, his eyes fixed on the tissue Baekhyun is playing with. It didn’t take long before he realized he was making a paper plane.
“Byun is my mother’s surname,” Baekhyun answers as he continues to fold the wings of his plane, pressing it down carefully. “I thought there was no reason for me to display our wealth so I used her last name instead of my dad’s. I didn’t want people to treat me differently just because of high power.”
Until now? Chanyeol thinks.
“What I failed to foresee…is that there will come a time when I’ll be treated like shit.”
Chanyeol notices he’s done with his paper plane.
Everytime, it’s like this. Be it test papers, receipts, or whatever that is equal or can be substituted to a thin material pressed by moist fibers, once his hands touch it, he automatically starts shaping it into a paper plane. Sometimes Chanyeol thinks he’s unaware of it or its relativity to a possible sign of emotional dysfunction to others. For Baekhyun, it might be normal and maybe it should be but there was no helping it for Chanyeol.
“But you know,” Baekhyun shrugs before lifting the paper plane, holding the corner in between his fingers. “What difference does it make anyway?” Baekhyun pushes the paper to the air and let it fly before it falls to the ground after a second or two. “You know the movie 3 Idiots? At the end, when they thought the baby died, all it took was one word and it kicked to life. All is well. Wish it could be that easy to kick someone in the face and be alive again.”
“Of course it is,” Chanyeol says and Baekhyun glances at him, a hint of surprise obvious in his eyes. “I mean, kick the person who made you feel like trash and run away and laugh it out. Sure, he may come back for revenge but hey, he started! You won’t stop if he won’t so, take it or leave it.”
Baekhyun chuckles incredulously. “You know for a smart-ass, sometimes you don’t make sense.”
“I’m serious!” Chanyeol insists but Baekhyun ends up laughing anyway. “Come on, tell me you never thought of doing that. I know you have someone in mind right now.”
Baekhyun studies Chanyeol’s face and the longer he thinks about it, the stronger the urge becomes. “Fine. You really want me to do this?” Chanyeol nods. Baekhyun gestures for him to lean closers and whispers a name.
<< >>
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol, Kris/Baekhyun, side!Luhan/Kris
Genre: Romance, Drama, University!AU
Word Count: 5k+
Summary: Not everyone can dismiss curiosity easily, is what Chanyeol wants to tell Yixing, because the whole morning, he couldn’t stop thinking about the man who lives behind the mysterious door.
“What are you doing here?” was the first thing Chanyeol hears when he opens the door to the rooftop. He sees Baekhyun sitting at the railings, his back turned to him.
Chanyeol shrugs. “I don’t know…I just thought I’d come.” He says as he moves towards Baekhyun slowly. Baekhyun turns to him halfway and slightly chuckles at his expression.
“I’m not gonna jump, don’t worry,” Baekhyun announces as he faces back towards the railings. “I thought of it though but if I fall down there, my body would get distorted and there will be blood everywhere and it’ll just be ugly. I don’t want to die ugly. At least I should give people a good portrait of my dead body.”
“Don’t say that,” Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol when he sits, slightly caught off guard with his remark. “I mean, it’s not ideal to talk about your death or how you die.”
Baekhyun smiles at him. “Maybe you’re right. But I like it anyway. It reminds me of why I still haven’t jumped until now,” It’s not just some absurd simple reason. “I wonder what it feels like to fly. Not like birds. Birds can still feel. Maybe something more…inanimate. Like paper planes.”
“You want to be a paper plane?”
Baekhyun contemplates for a bit and Chanyeol watches how his lips purse and how the wind breaks into his face. “I guess, yeah. Paper planes can fly. People can just shape them differently, make them randomly, like you sit in front of the TV and you see a paper and then you have this sudden urge to fold it into something, into a paper plane. And then you throw it in the air and it falls down and you make another one. There’s no…feeling. No connection. It’s just paper. An object and a living person. Nobody gets hurt, not even during the fall.”
Chanyeol snorts. “So in conclusion, you don’t want to feel anything?”
“If it’s pain then yeah,” Baekhyun says silently, almost like a whisper, but Chanyeol can hear it perfectly. “Some people think that just because you’re broken, you have no problem getting hurt. If it’s that simple, there won’t be any broken ones. Ignorance is bliss.”
Chanyeol tried to decipher if there’s something in that phrase that he could very much connect to him or if Baekhyun was talking about him. Some people could mean the society outside Baekhyun’s mind, outside himself, and if that’s the case then he’s very much inside that circle. Strangers passing by, giving him the looks, gossiping. He doesn’t want to be part of some people.
“You must think I’m weird,” Baekhyun says with a light chuckle, sounding like angels to Chanyeol’s ear. “Sorry you had to witness that earlier. It doesn’t normally happen. Well, I guess it will from now on.”
“You don’t have to worry,” Sometimes, it’s also so surprising Chanyeol can respond like that. “My dad told me before I only see things, not feel them.”
Baekhyun croons before breaking into a large grin. “I’ve always had that impression of you! Good to know I wasn’t wrong. I thought you’d freak out but I guess you’re cool.” The university chimes echo around them. “Oh shit, hey, aren’t you going to leave? You’re gonna be late.”
“What about you?”
“Nah, I don’t really feel going,” To his surprise, Chanyeol, along with that smug face of his, suddenly grabbed his hand and started pulling him. “I’m just going to pretend you’re not shamelessly grabbing my hand and ask, where the fuck are we going?”
Chanyeol turns his head to him. “We’re cutting classes!”
Baekhyun isn’t particular sure if this is a good idea but as he contemplates inside his head, Chanyeol has already dragged him all the way to the exit gate and Baekhyun finds himself wishing this won’t be one of the things he’d regret saying no to in the future.
“This place…” Baekhyun breathes as he stares into the familiar space.
“Cool, right!” Chanyeol chirps coming up beside him. “Yixing and the others took me here before class started.
“And I took them here.”
“Oh. Oh.”
“I was here before you?” Baekhyun reasons. He watches Chanyeol’s expression change to something he can confidently say is disappointed. He winces. He never had to figure out Chanyeol’s expressions before and a part of him says that maybe he’s starting to care because he’s starting to see his feelings. Or maybe he’s already used to seeing the same expressions on Chanyeol’s face that a sudden change pulls him with guilt. “It’s okay,” He says, sighing. “It’s been a long time since I came here anyway.”
They’re on a lake. To some people, it’s just another lake but to Baekhyun it’s more than that. It served as his escape before everything went extremely wrong that he can no longer feel the solitude he found here. The lake isn’t clean but it’s not particularly dirty either. It has experienced many rainy days. It’s a 20-minute drive from the school. Nobody really comes here because everyone seems to think that walking around the area behind the school is dangerous when in fact there are more dangers inside the school walls.
He notices the big logs on the water and he turns to the broken trees. It seems like a storm has damaged the place. As he looks into the broken trunks, the dead leaves and the mud surrounding the water, he kind of sees a reflection of himself.
“Here.”
Baekhyun almost jumps when he feels a sudden coldness piercing his skin and Chanyeol laughs at him. He purses his lips as he takes the soda can from Chanyeol. “Where did you get these?”
“I snatched them from the vending machine when we were running at school earlier.” Baekhyun surely did not notice that given the state of his mind so he drops the subject. “So, you said it’s been a long time since you came here. I take it you haven’t come here in a while?” Baekhyun nods as he leans on the trunk of a large tree. “Why?”
Baekhyun shrugs as he pulls the lid of the can. “It used to be fun. I come here with my friends because like me, they used to look for a place away from school to think clearer. Now it’s just me. And I get reminded of how they forgot about who I was before I forgot about it myself. They think everything that comes out from my mouth now is bullshit.” And as always Baekhyun can only think of how they must’ve gotten tired of him being the dead end. Nothing comes after. It’s just that.
“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol says. “But what exactly happened?”
Baekhyun turns his head slowly. “Why would I tell you that?”
“You said a lot of things but you’re not gonna tell me what happened?” Chanyeol asks with a slight gasp.
“Did you bring me here to ask?” Baekhyun laughs loudly at Chanyeol’s expression. “I don’t even know you that well!”
“Fine, then!” Chanyeol announces as he stands proudly in front of Baekhyun. “Let’s play honesty hour!”
“Honesty hour?”
Chanyeol nods. “It’s a way of getting to know each other well. We have to swear to only tell the truth about ourselves for an hour.”
“An hour?” Baekhyun repeats incredulously.
“Fine. Honesty half-an-hour.”
Surprisingly, even though Baekhyun isn’t so sure if the odds will be in his favor, he ended up saying, “Game. You start,” Chanyeol stares at him. “What? It’s your idea. It’s called courtesy.” Baekhyun adds as he skips to the edge of the lake, where the water hits his shoes lightly. Chanyeol watches him carefully hopping on one of the logs, maintaining equilibrium by taking one step at a time with his arms spread on his side, before starting.
“Alright, my name is Park Chanyeol,”
“Nice to meet you, Park Chanyeol!” Baekhyun replies with his eyes fixed on his steps.
Chanyeol laughs. “187 cm, blood type A*, went to Gangnam-gu-“
“Blah blah blah, boring,” Baekhyun stops and stands straight. “Siblings?”
Chanyeol sighs. “One older sister. I play the guitar-“
“Yixing must have been thrilled.”
“-and the drums.”
“I hate drums.”
Chanyeol pauses. “Good to know. Also, I’m-“
“Rich.” Baekhyun grins.
“I was going to say ferret lover but I guess Yixing told you that so instead of denying, I’ll just clear up some misunderstandings. My dad is rich. Apparently, so is my sister who’s a fashion designer.”
Baekhyun shrugs. “The ferret would’ve been boring.” Truth to be told, with his life undergoing an eternal rollercoaster life, he needs something that could at least make the ride thrilling. He sits on the grass, the clean part of the whole area, and invites Chanyeol to sit beside him, where the giant continued to take up half-an-hour of the honesty time with Baekhyun’s, sometimes, useless questions.
Questions like how he spent all the money he had kept Baekhyun pulled away from Chanyeol’s proposed subject, so finally at the fifth time he brought it up, Chanyeol made it clear, with huge emphasis, that he never spent or used any of his father’s money (except of course for school and miscellaneous fees) because, unlike his sister, he’s never really had a dream and he never had to need money. It’s all given to him and sometimes, more often than not, they just sit on a transparent jar in his room. And then, Baekhyun’s next question was what his room looked like. Useless questions.
“How about your friends?” Baekhyun asks, slightly occupied with the birds now filling up most of the sky’s scenery that he missed Chanyeol’s expression change. When he still doesn’t get a reply, he turns to Chanyeol and finds the latter staring to an empty space. “Chanyeol? Your friends?”
“Oh, uh,” Chanyeol shakes his head. “No personal questions, remember?”
Baekhyun gapes slightly. “You told me about that one time you had an erectile dysfunction but asking about your friends is personal?” Chanyeol nods. “Jesus, good thing you didn’t attempt to give comments about my relationship with my friends-wait, no, past friends, because I’ll slap you in the penis.”
Chanyeol clears his throat as he tries to erase the image in his mind. “A very good thing.” He glances in his watch and smiles. “Alright, time’s up. Your turn.”
Baekhyun clicks his tongue, looks around for a moment, before finally speaking. “Okay, my name is Byun Baekhyun,” Chanyeol stares at him and he laughs. “Fine, what do you want to know?”
A lot of things, Chanyeol thought. He could have a list but he’s pretty sure it’d take up one Manila paper back to back and he doesn’t really want to freak Baekhyun out. So he goes with, “What kind of music do you like?”
Judging by that sudden silence, Baekhyun was caught off guard but at the same time relieved. “Anything, actually. But most likely pop because yeah, as you already know, I’m a DJ and you can’t play ballad songs in a club or they’ll throw you out.”
Chanyeol chuckles. “How did you become a DJ?”
Baekhyun tilts his head, thinking deeply. “I don’t know…oh, uh,” He sits up straight, slightly feeling about excited when he finally remembers. “Before, me and my friends used to go to the club and I’m always at the stage because I look stupid when I dance so I avoid the dance floor and then I just started playing with the turntable and the DJ, who turned out to be Kris’ friend, asked me if I was interested in learning how to manipulate the turntable and I guess I said yes because then I’d have a real reason not to dance whenever we go the club,” He nods. “It was stupid but it has become my escape route, especially when I needed one the most.”
“When you and Kris broke up?” Chanyeol says, attempting to redirect the conversation in which Baekhyun does not appreciate but it’s not like it’s something that he can avoid forever anyway.
“No,” Baekhyun replies. “Breaking up with Kris, I was okay, what really hurt me was how my friends turned their backs on me when they saw how fucked up I’ve become. Like, they can’t deal with my shit anymore. I wouldn’t have gotten worse if they were there when I drowned myself in drinks, misbehaved every opportunity I had, but maybe they thought that if they don’t stay away, they’ll be dragged down to the ugly side,” He laughs his pain and Chanyeol cringes. “And I guess people just jumped on the bandwagon of hating me.”
“Your friends don’t hate you,” Chanyeol says immediately. “I mean, they can’t, because they know getting hurt is inevitable and there’s no way you could’ve saved yourself from it. Maybe they think that they can’t fix you, that they weren’t what you needed.”
“They didn’t have to fix me. I can fix myself. They just had to be there.” Baekhyun sighs as he pulls his knees to his chest to lean his head.
“I’m here,”
Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol and smirked. “You’re stupid.”
“What? Why? No, I mean it-“
“Shh,” Baekhyun stretches out and slowly lies down the grass, closing his eyes.
“What are you doing? Your 30 minutes isn’t even done yet-“
“Whatever. I’m bored.”
Chanyeol pouts. “That’s unfair.”
“Shut up and lie down with me.”
Baekhyun likes it. The feeling of the wind softly brushing against his body, the sound of the water, the rustling leaves, the birds flying around, it’s his idea of solitude and what’s better is that he doesn’t have to think of how the place reminded him of the broken relationship with his friend because with Chanyeol here, it’s going to remind him of something different now.
Baekhyun hears broken leaves on the ground and opens his eyes immediately when Junmyeon bends down above him. He blinks. “Hi Junmyeon.”
“Junmyeon-shii!” Chanyeol yells in surprise, standing up abruptly.
Junmyeon nods at him before turning back down to Baekhyun. “I was sent to look for someone, not you of course, though never would I have guessed I’d see you here.” Junmyeon replies, sighing.
“You know you don’t have to take your Student Council position to a whole new level,” Baekhyun says while sitting up, brushing off the dirt on his shirt and hair in the process.
“Well, the teachers don’t like it when the star student is missing in their class, again, not you of course, him.” Junmyeon turns to Chanyeol who was still in shock. “Weren’t you supposed to do a presentation in Parasitology class?”
“Ah!” Chanyeol exclaims when an imaginary light bulb lights up in his head. “I forgot!”
Junmyeon raises an eyebrow. “Did you?”
“I’m sorry!” Chanyeol bows down. “I’ll talk to the teacher!”
Junmyeon heaves out a heavy sigh. “Come on. We need to go back.”
When Junmyeon started walking back to his car parked by the road, Baekhyun immediately ran beside Chanyeol. “You had a presentation?”
Chanyeol smiled stupidly. “I forgot.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Baekhyun lets himself gets left behind with Chanyeol’s large steps and as he watches Chanyeol’s back, he realizes that maybe he’s starting to do something his friends were scared of.
They were only 10 minutes away from school when Chanyeol announced they needed to stop by the convenience store because Yixing texted him, asking him to buy something that apparently you couldn’t find at the school’s own grocery. Junmyeon is refilling the tank while Chanyeol’s still inside the store. And Baekhyun, seated shotgun with his legs on the windows, decided to play with some chips by throwing it up and catching it with his mouth.
“You know,” Junmyeon says from outside. “If you wanted to cut classes, you didn’t have to drag him with you.”
“I didn’t drag him with me. He dragged me with him,” When Baekhyun notices Junmyeon’s figure by the window, he turns and Junmyeon is staring at him like he’s demanding for a better lie than that. “You don’t believe me.” Baekhyun concludes and Junmyeon looks away, sighing. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t need you to believe me. You can just ask him yourself.”
“Baekhyun, you know I care for you.”
“You care for everyone,” Baekhyun deadpans. “But since you’re not always with everyone, you don’t know what the situation is. And when you finally realize what’s happening around you, you’re going to hate me too.”
“You know I’m not like that.”
“I don’t know what kind of person you really are, Junmyeon.”
“Stop shutting every-“
“I’M BACK!” Chanyeol yells loudly while jumping at the backseat, oblivious to the obvious tension between his two companions. The tank also went full just in time.
When Chanyeol arrives back at the dorm, Yixing doesn’t ask anything else except for the box of soda he asked him to buy. Chanyeol isn’t really expecting his roommate to throw even a tiny bit of interest in his life but in his mind, he thinks that having someone wanting to get involved with him would be nice.
“Thanks. You’re a lifesaver.” Yixing tells him after grabbing one can from the box.
Chanyeol watches Yixing open the can and asks while dropping his bag on the floor. “What do you need a Dr. Pepper for?”
“Reasons,” Yixing simply answered. “The school doesn’t have this kind of drinks here. They only things they have here are products of Nestle. I mean, not to degrade Nestle, Nestle is cool, but sometimes it’s nice to have some Budweiser here.”
“You’re crazy,” Chanyeol chuckles.
“Hey, it’s college! When we get treated like high school students, it’s always recommended to file a lawsuit!”
“Have you ever filed one?”
“Nah,” Yixing shrugs. “Junmyeon does all of that. If you’re curious as to how many teachers have been fired because of our complaints, ask him. Man, you’d never guess he could be that vicious against student freedom oppressors. He’s always in our side but he fakes a front to make the board thinks he’s on their side. It’s natural talent, I tell you.”
And there, Chanyeol wonders, which is Junmyeon’s real fake front. People aren’t mind readers. Yixing isn’t. There’s even no way of telling if what he’s sprouting is the truth. “Perks of being a Law student, I guess,” Yixing adds. He notices Chanyeol spacing out and throws a can on him in which the giant immediately catches before it hit his head. “Go drink.”
“I don’t-“
“Oh come on, it’s just a drink.”
After several useless contemplations in his head, he ended up taking a sip. He nods. “It’s good.”
Yixing flashes him a sly smile. “I hope you had a great time outside the school.” He says before spinning his computer chair back to face his PC, leaving Chanyeol wondering.
“You’re not…gonna ask what I was doing outside the school?” Chanyeol inquires though unsure if he should be asking to be honest since he may or may not have a clue that Yixing doesn’t really care.
Yixing snorts. “Why would I?” Yep. He shouldn’t have asked. “I mean, you’ll tell me anyway even though you know I’m like 0.1% interested.” Chanyeol glares at him and Yixing just laughs. “Besides, I may not know why you were outside the school but at least I have an idea judging by the fact that Baekhyun wasn’t present too. And we all know something like that will never be a coincidence.”
“You say a lot of things.” Chanyeol deadpans.
“You like it.” Chanyeol fakes a vomit. “So? Aren’t you going to tell me anything?”
Chanyeol had thought of asking Yixing about the real issue with Baekhyun instead when the question was raised but the relative reason had him tongue tied and he couldn’t seem to take his mind off the image of Baekhyun sitting on the railings of the rooftop, scared to admit that he looked like he belonged there. “He thought of dying.” He says instead and Chanyeol notices the subtle twitch Yixing’s eyes made. Baekhyun had told him, convinced him, that dying for him is a form of art, that if it meant having to get his face distorted, then it’s not something he would most likely to do. But Chanyeol knows that once a person has taken dying into deep thought, the curiosity stays for pleasure. “Why is it that he did to be treated like shit, enough that he even thought of dying?”
Yixing spins his chair around. “It’s none of your concern.”
“Yixing-“
“Don’t worry.” Yixing cuts off. “He’s not going to kill himself.” He hasn’t done anything yet.
“Chanyeol?”
Chanyeol stands up from the bench immediately in response to the call. He sees his female classmate peeking from inside the faculty’s lounge, gesturing for him to come inside. Once inside, he greets the professors, familiar and unfamiliar ones. When he finds Professor Lee on his desk, he immediately gives him an apologetic smile. Mr. Lee gestures for him to sit.
“You didn’t show up for your presentation last Thursday Mr. Park.” Mr. Lee starts as he signs some thesis papers on his desk.
Chanyeol chuckles nervously. “Uh, I was-“
“Mr. Byun,” Chanyeol perks up. “Was also not around. Were you with him?”
Chanyeol tries to think of a reason why such question is relevant until something hits him. It could just be random question but he doubts so. “No, I overslept, sir.”
Mr. Lee lifts his head to look at him and smiles. “Very good.” He closes the last file before sitting up straight. “Listen, Mr. Park. We normally don’t give special treatments to students mainly because they don’t deserve it but you have shown respectable results so I have decided to give you one more chance.” Chanyeol immediately lights up. “But, you’ll have to do the presentation in front of the seniors.”
Chanyeol nods happily. “Yes, I’ll be glad to!”
Mr. Lee smiles for a second. “Alright, see you next Thursday then.”
“Thank you sir!”
“HELLO!”
Chanyeol almost stumbles back inside the faculty’s lounge when Baekhyun’s high pitched voice and excited face greets him while opening the door. “Hey. How did you know I was here?”
“We’re in the same class.” Baekhyun answers as-a-matter-of-factly. “Mr. Lee wanted to talk to me too but I don’t want to talk to him so screw it.”
Chanyeol chuckles as he walks with Baekhyun. “I wish I had your balls.”
“Sorry but all they can do is bear with me for the next three semesters since they can’t really kick me out given that my family is one of the stakeholders of this school.”
Chanyeol crooks his eyebrows as he stares at him, trying to find a hint of ridicule in his face but he can never know when Baekhyun is joking. “You serious?”
Baekhyun chuckles. “You don’t believe me?”
“You’ve never mentioned that before!”
“Why would I mention that?”
“I don’t know because we have honesty half-an-hour? And the only things you told me were how your first dog died, how your second dog died, how your turtle got washed up by the flood and how your pet fish’ aquarium broke and you found it on the floor grasping for air when you got home from school.”
“Excuse, those are the personal secrets I don’t normally give out to the universe!”
Chanyeol ruffles his hair playfully and Baekhyun shoves him away, pouting while fixing his hair. “Wanna go to the cafeteria?” He asks and Baekhyun stops walking. He turns to Baekhyun who’s frowning.
“Do you want to?” Baekhyun asks and Chanyeol curses in his head for forgetting that for the past week, Baekhyun refuses to set foot in the cafeteria, the reason being he wants to avoid another round of confrontation from Yixing and the others.
Chanyeol chuckles nervously. “No, I mean, I was just asking. Where do you want to go this time?”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure!” Chanyeol announces as he grabs Baekhyun’s hand. “Come on, where do you want to eat?”
Baekhyun couldn’t answer, not because he doesn’t have anything in mind, but because the only thing in his mind is the warmth he can feel from Chanyeol’s hand, taking him back to the days where he needed one the most, making him remember how such absence has ruined him. He pulls back his hand immediately. “There’s a small restaurant near the bus stop,” He says while walking, ignoring the sudden silence from Chanyeol, possibly because of the sudden action. “We can go there.”
Chanyeol follows him immediately. “Okay.”
Chanyeol doesn’t really know why he couldn’t seem to stop following Baekhyun. He doesn’t even remember when it started. But at the back of his mind he knows that the reason why he can’t leave him alone is because he was scared that Baekhyun will do something to himself.
Baekhyun stares out the window and watches strangers pass by, some alone, some in pairs, and he wonders to himself if there was ever a time when they felt like their world is crumbling around them. And it gives him hope. Because if some of them ever did, then maybe someday he’ll learn to smile like that too.
“You know it just hit me,” is what Chanyeol says first when he comes back with their food. “We were given a list of the stakeholders or members of the board of the school at the orientation but none of them definitely has Byun as a last name.”
Baekhyun smirks as he turns to him. He can’t believe he’ll actually meet someone who read the stupid handout the teachers give on the day of the orientation. “So?”
“So, you were lying.” Chanyeol says confidently. “You were, right?”
Baekhyun shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe yes, maybe no.”
And this is where the dilemma is-Chanyeol can never know when Baekhyun is lying or not. He starts to unwrap the burger. “Let’s do honesty half-an-hour then.”
Baekhyun glowers at him. “Can’t you let me eat first?”
“You eat like a baby who gets distracted by everything so there isn’t really a difference.”
Baekhyun pouts. “Fine then.” He sits up straight. “Okay. My family is rich, obviously because we’re one of the stakeholders, and we also have several hotels and restaurants. I have two older brothers, one a lawyer and the other, a fresh graduate of civil engineering.”
“And the Byun?” Chanyeol asks, his eyes fixed on the tissue Baekhyun is playing with. It didn’t take long before he realized he was making a paper plane.
“Byun is my mother’s surname,” Baekhyun answers as he continues to fold the wings of his plane, pressing it down carefully. “I thought there was no reason for me to display our wealth so I used her last name instead of my dad’s. I didn’t want people to treat me differently just because of high power.”
Until now? Chanyeol thinks.
“What I failed to foresee…is that there will come a time when I’ll be treated like shit.”
Chanyeol notices he’s done with his paper plane.
Everytime, it’s like this. Be it test papers, receipts, or whatever that is equal or can be substituted to a thin material pressed by moist fibers, once his hands touch it, he automatically starts shaping it into a paper plane. Sometimes Chanyeol thinks he’s unaware of it or its relativity to a possible sign of emotional dysfunction to others. For Baekhyun, it might be normal and maybe it should be but there was no helping it for Chanyeol.
“But you know,” Baekhyun shrugs before lifting the paper plane, holding the corner in between his fingers. “What difference does it make anyway?” Baekhyun pushes the paper to the air and let it fly before it falls to the ground after a second or two. “You know the movie 3 Idiots? At the end, when they thought the baby died, all it took was one word and it kicked to life. All is well. Wish it could be that easy to kick someone in the face and be alive again.”
“Of course it is,” Chanyeol says and Baekhyun glances at him, a hint of surprise obvious in his eyes. “I mean, kick the person who made you feel like trash and run away and laugh it out. Sure, he may come back for revenge but hey, he started! You won’t stop if he won’t so, take it or leave it.”
Baekhyun chuckles incredulously. “You know for a smart-ass, sometimes you don’t make sense.”
“I’m serious!” Chanyeol insists but Baekhyun ends up laughing anyway. “Come on, tell me you never thought of doing that. I know you have someone in mind right now.”
Baekhyun studies Chanyeol’s face and the longer he thinks about it, the stronger the urge becomes. “Fine. You really want me to do this?” Chanyeol nods. Baekhyun gestures for him to lean closers and whispers a name.
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