Fic: Jenna's War I: Screw Up (6/6)
Title: Jenna's War I: Screw Up
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: T, to be on the safe side
Genres: Gen, Action/Adventure
Summary: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... there were also people who were neither Jedi nor smugglers nor bounty hunters nor anything else as glamorous as that. Private Jenna Melara, infantry soldier for the Alliance, was one of them. Here's her story.
A/N: I... can't believe I never got around posting the last chapter to this. So, if anyone is actually interested in this story, here's the last chapter. And... there's more, you know. Does anyone want to read more about Jenna and her friends? I'd really, really, really love to read some feedback.
( Screw Up 1/6 )
( Screw Up 2/6 )
( Screw Up 3/6 )
( Screw Up 4/6 )
( Screw up 5/6 )
Six
“Hey, Xan, how are you doing? Still being a lazy ass?” I say and give him a half-grin, trying not to let it show how much his overall weak appearance is affecting me.
He gives back something that could be a weak grin and says, “’s okay to take a little pity on me, Mel. Men like that.”
“Hey, I wasn’t…” He weakly raises an eyebrow. “Okay, I was. But you really don’t look like your usual charming self.”
“Charming self, huh?” He makes a sound that could be a low laugh, but fails. In the end, it comes out more like a cough. I want to reach out and pat his shoulder, just anything, but I just stay there, a little awkwardly. He takes a deep, shuddering breath.
“Yeah, charming self. The only thing that made me risk my life for your sorry hide.” I smirk, trying to sound nonchalant. I’m not sure if I manage that, though.
“Mel… about what happened in that fire fight…” I knew something like that would come. Something about being a moron for putting my life in the line or… “You did good there.” Oh. That’s something I wasn’t counting in. Trying to play down my embarrassment, I rub my neck and lean against the side of his bed.
“Yeah, well, if you don’t count letting myself be fooled by a decoy maneuver that’s older than the Sith and that I forgot everything of my first aid training and…” He drags his hand upon mine, making me half-turn to him.
“Mel? Do me a favor?” He's sounding uncharacteristically serious, so I lift my head to look him in the eye.
“Sure. Anything you want.” He smiles again, but it’s not one of his usual “I’m the Stars’ gift to women” smiles. More like a little sad. Huh?
“Just for once believe it when someone says you did good. Because it’s true.” For a moment, I’m at a loss for words. Turning down praise has become such a regular habit for me now that I’m actually unable to just take it and be happy about it. It takes all my will power not to throw back the snappy comment I already have on my mind.
“I… um… I’m going to try, okay? I just… I just don’t think anyone else will agree. I’m almost 100% sure Tarkker’s already been running around and telling his side of the story to about anyone who doesn’t want to hear it and…” I take my hand back and start fiddling with the end of my braid. That’s why I should wear my hair either short or pinned up: When I get nervous or frustrated I tend to fiddle around with my hair, and that habit makes me as easy to read as an open book.
“The people who count won’t believe him, and you know that. Now stop tearing at your pretty hair and do what you did in that fight.” I raise an eyebrow, and he takes another deep breath. I realize I shouldn’t be harassing him like that. Whatever happened after I passed out, it seems to have seriously taken its toll of him. But I still want to know what he meant. “You didn’t think about consequences or what people would say or anything… you just… did. And that was good. Just keep doing that.”
Before I can answer something though I’m saved by the bell. Or the Mrlssi nurse from before, respectively. “Sorry to interrupt you but we need to prepare Private Farrayn for the bacta tank now.” To my shame I have to admit that she actually spared me the embarrassment of not knowing what to say. Smiling apologetically, I get off the bed.
As the nurse moves into her prep work, I turn around to him again and say, “Gotta report to the Cap now. And you just… stay in your tank and… uh… get well again, okay?” Yeah, that was really smooth, Melara.
He smirks a little weakly still, but now definitely his usual charmer smile. “And after that we’ll see if there aren’t any other favors you can do me.” I guess I just turned as red as a Calamarian lobster again. Playing down the embarrassment, I stick out my tongue and then get out of the hospital as soon as possible, fervently hoping everyone who heard that comment will attribute it to the heavy painkillers Xanas must be on.
“Going somewhere, Melara?” I turn around, and there’s the bulky form of Sergeant Dankin standing right before me. Great. Just when I was on my way to Borlin’s office tent, I’m waylaid by the guy I want to see least - apart from that traitor Tarkker, maybe.
“Going to see Captain Borlin, sir?” I say, trying hard not to sound like I was talking to a primary school kid and suppressing raising my eyebrows in a way that says, “Are you retarded or what?”
“There’s no need for that. Borlin doesn’t need to be pestered with your silly blabbing. If there’s anything you think worth telling, then tell me. And fast, because I got a lotta other things to do.” What the…? What drove that guy to think he actually had any right to override an officer’s order? What the hell happened in the four days I’d been out of camp - so to speak, I mean.
“With all due respect, sir: I don’t think so.” He smirks. That usually means trouble. But, oh well, crossing Dankin’s path always means trouble.
“That’s right, Melara, you don’t think. You follow orders. And I order you to give your report to me.” I’m almost ready to explode now. Compared to a few minutes with Dankin, the hours in the desert were almost refreshing. But how to answer without making him go off all over the camp?
“I don’t think Captain Borlin would be very pleased if you…”
“Captain Borlin gives a shit about what I do with you. Ever since Corporal Tarkker reported.” I can only barely keep from letting my jaw fall to the ground. Corporal Tarkker? This is a terrible mistake. This just has to be a mistake. And what lies did that dirty little shutta tell Borlin and Dankin? “Now, you got thirty minutes to finish your report. Better get started.”
With that - and an unbelievable dirty smirk - he turns and briskly walks away. What the…?
“Look what the Felinx dragged into the sun.” With a snappy remark on my tongue I whip around - and promptly twist the still injured leg - to face the one who addressed me, only to realize that he was just fooling around. That shuts me up immediately, because I see it’s Magic, Kierse and Danna, all three of them grinning. What is it about me and people loving to startle me?
“Uh, yeah, uh nice to see you, too, guys.” Very eloquent. Really well-spoken. Melara, you idiot.
“That’s exactly what he wanted to say, Jenna. Really,” Danna says and gives me a half-smirk.
I know they are just joking around, but why do they always start mocking me when I’m in no mood to actually find it funny, too? I mean… I just had a very weird talk with Xanas, got cryptic remarks and a totally nonsense order from Dankin and my leg is slowly starting to kill me again. Before I can say something, though, Korwin beats me to it and says, “Okay, girls, we’ll just head towards chow and see you there, huh?” With that he gives Kierse a short look and they are gone, leaving me and Danna behind.
I’m impressed. That was a surprising display of subtlety. For Korwin, at least.
Danna coughs. “You know, sometimes I don’t know whether to hug or to shoot them.”
A little startled, I can only answer with, “Huh?”
“Well… my boys… they can be a little traitorous at times. But then you still gotta love ‘em because you know deep down that they only do what they think is best for you.” Oh, okay, I get it. It’s still about the yelling thing from a few days ago. Obviously Danna was more intimidated than I thought and the boys just wanted us to reconcile. She's right. Sometimes you really don’t know whether to love them or shoot them.
“I’d hug them, if I was in your place.” Our eyes meet, and after a split second, she smiles at me. Good grief, I actually held my breath until she did.
“They were really worried, you know. When word got out that your box didn’t arrive, I mean.” Obviously something in my face told her I wasn’t quite sure what I should do with the “They were worried”-information, because she adds, “But no one was worried enough to join the SAR-team, you know.” No one apart from her. Alright, I get the hint. But what to say?
“Danna… I’m sorry for what happened in the hospital tent. I shouldn’t have…” A wave of her hand shuts me up.
“You know, I shouldn’t have provoked you. I should have known you wouldn’t react well to me teasing you like that, and I still did. I’m sorry.” To be honest: I’m not sure as how to react to that. I expected… I don’t know what I expected. I just wanted to stay clear of her for a while, feeling like something between us… shifted. But now she’s here, and she’s waiting for an answer. Plus my leg and the heat seriously start to get at me.
“Look… we both weren’t acting exactly friendly that day. Let’s just… I don’t know… be a little more careful around each other, okay? And… uh… Danna?” Gods, there goes my eloquence. I sound like a frigging teenager. I’ve been sounding like that a lot in the past months. Really should work on that.
She raises an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
I try a smile. “Thanks for joining the SAR team.” And caring enough about me to possibly go against Korwin’s or anyone else’s orders with that. I just hope she gets the things I didn’t say.
Letting a little relief show through, she grins and says, “Should have seen the fit Magic threw when we came back. Join me for chow and let me tell you?” It’s a very blunt peace offering. I’d be an idiot not to take it.
“Sure.” This time, the smile is real.
And while we turn for walking to the mess tent, her grin grows wider, as she starts to talk. “So, we had just gottn you and Farrayn and that idiot they call Tarkker out of the box when suddenly Magic came charging onto the landing zone…”
While she’s going on talking, I try to hide a little smile, thinking that I might be still a screw-up, but a screw-up with friends. And that’s all it takes to make a difference wider than the Dune Sea.
~*~
TBC in Big Girl.
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: T, to be on the safe side
Genres: Gen, Action/Adventure
Summary: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... there were also people who were neither Jedi nor smugglers nor bounty hunters nor anything else as glamorous as that. Private Jenna Melara, infantry soldier for the Alliance, was one of them. Here's her story.
A/N: I... can't believe I never got around posting the last chapter to this. So, if anyone is actually interested in this story, here's the last chapter. And... there's more, you know. Does anyone want to read more about Jenna and her friends? I'd really, really, really love to read some feedback.
( Screw Up 1/6 )
( Screw Up 2/6 )
( Screw Up 3/6 )
( Screw Up 4/6 )
( Screw up 5/6 )
Six
“Hey, Xan, how are you doing? Still being a lazy ass?” I say and give him a half-grin, trying not to let it show how much his overall weak appearance is affecting me.
He gives back something that could be a weak grin and says, “’s okay to take a little pity on me, Mel. Men like that.”
“Hey, I wasn’t…” He weakly raises an eyebrow. “Okay, I was. But you really don’t look like your usual charming self.”
“Charming self, huh?” He makes a sound that could be a low laugh, but fails. In the end, it comes out more like a cough. I want to reach out and pat his shoulder, just anything, but I just stay there, a little awkwardly. He takes a deep, shuddering breath.
“Yeah, charming self. The only thing that made me risk my life for your sorry hide.” I smirk, trying to sound nonchalant. I’m not sure if I manage that, though.
“Mel… about what happened in that fire fight…” I knew something like that would come. Something about being a moron for putting my life in the line or… “You did good there.” Oh. That’s something I wasn’t counting in. Trying to play down my embarrassment, I rub my neck and lean against the side of his bed.
“Yeah, well, if you don’t count letting myself be fooled by a decoy maneuver that’s older than the Sith and that I forgot everything of my first aid training and…” He drags his hand upon mine, making me half-turn to him.
“Mel? Do me a favor?” He's sounding uncharacteristically serious, so I lift my head to look him in the eye.
“Sure. Anything you want.” He smiles again, but it’s not one of his usual “I’m the Stars’ gift to women” smiles. More like a little sad. Huh?
“Just for once believe it when someone says you did good. Because it’s true.” For a moment, I’m at a loss for words. Turning down praise has become such a regular habit for me now that I’m actually unable to just take it and be happy about it. It takes all my will power not to throw back the snappy comment I already have on my mind.
“I… um… I’m going to try, okay? I just… I just don’t think anyone else will agree. I’m almost 100% sure Tarkker’s already been running around and telling his side of the story to about anyone who doesn’t want to hear it and…” I take my hand back and start fiddling with the end of my braid. That’s why I should wear my hair either short or pinned up: When I get nervous or frustrated I tend to fiddle around with my hair, and that habit makes me as easy to read as an open book.
“The people who count won’t believe him, and you know that. Now stop tearing at your pretty hair and do what you did in that fight.” I raise an eyebrow, and he takes another deep breath. I realize I shouldn’t be harassing him like that. Whatever happened after I passed out, it seems to have seriously taken its toll of him. But I still want to know what he meant. “You didn’t think about consequences or what people would say or anything… you just… did. And that was good. Just keep doing that.”
Before I can answer something though I’m saved by the bell. Or the Mrlssi nurse from before, respectively. “Sorry to interrupt you but we need to prepare Private Farrayn for the bacta tank now.” To my shame I have to admit that she actually spared me the embarrassment of not knowing what to say. Smiling apologetically, I get off the bed.
As the nurse moves into her prep work, I turn around to him again and say, “Gotta report to the Cap now. And you just… stay in your tank and… uh… get well again, okay?” Yeah, that was really smooth, Melara.
He smirks a little weakly still, but now definitely his usual charmer smile. “And after that we’ll see if there aren’t any other favors you can do me.” I guess I just turned as red as a Calamarian lobster again. Playing down the embarrassment, I stick out my tongue and then get out of the hospital as soon as possible, fervently hoping everyone who heard that comment will attribute it to the heavy painkillers Xanas must be on.
“Going somewhere, Melara?” I turn around, and there’s the bulky form of Sergeant Dankin standing right before me. Great. Just when I was on my way to Borlin’s office tent, I’m waylaid by the guy I want to see least - apart from that traitor Tarkker, maybe.
“Going to see Captain Borlin, sir?” I say, trying hard not to sound like I was talking to a primary school kid and suppressing raising my eyebrows in a way that says, “Are you retarded or what?”
“There’s no need for that. Borlin doesn’t need to be pestered with your silly blabbing. If there’s anything you think worth telling, then tell me. And fast, because I got a lotta other things to do.” What the…? What drove that guy to think he actually had any right to override an officer’s order? What the hell happened in the four days I’d been out of camp - so to speak, I mean.
“With all due respect, sir: I don’t think so.” He smirks. That usually means trouble. But, oh well, crossing Dankin’s path always means trouble.
“That’s right, Melara, you don’t think. You follow orders. And I order you to give your report to me.” I’m almost ready to explode now. Compared to a few minutes with Dankin, the hours in the desert were almost refreshing. But how to answer without making him go off all over the camp?
“I don’t think Captain Borlin would be very pleased if you…”
“Captain Borlin gives a shit about what I do with you. Ever since Corporal Tarkker reported.” I can only barely keep from letting my jaw fall to the ground. Corporal Tarkker? This is a terrible mistake. This just has to be a mistake. And what lies did that dirty little shutta tell Borlin and Dankin? “Now, you got thirty minutes to finish your report. Better get started.”
With that - and an unbelievable dirty smirk - he turns and briskly walks away. What the…?
“Look what the Felinx dragged into the sun.” With a snappy remark on my tongue I whip around - and promptly twist the still injured leg - to face the one who addressed me, only to realize that he was just fooling around. That shuts me up immediately, because I see it’s Magic, Kierse and Danna, all three of them grinning. What is it about me and people loving to startle me?
“Uh, yeah, uh nice to see you, too, guys.” Very eloquent. Really well-spoken. Melara, you idiot.
“That’s exactly what he wanted to say, Jenna. Really,” Danna says and gives me a half-smirk.
I know they are just joking around, but why do they always start mocking me when I’m in no mood to actually find it funny, too? I mean… I just had a very weird talk with Xanas, got cryptic remarks and a totally nonsense order from Dankin and my leg is slowly starting to kill me again. Before I can say something, though, Korwin beats me to it and says, “Okay, girls, we’ll just head towards chow and see you there, huh?” With that he gives Kierse a short look and they are gone, leaving me and Danna behind.
I’m impressed. That was a surprising display of subtlety. For Korwin, at least.
Danna coughs. “You know, sometimes I don’t know whether to hug or to shoot them.”
A little startled, I can only answer with, “Huh?”
“Well… my boys… they can be a little traitorous at times. But then you still gotta love ‘em because you know deep down that they only do what they think is best for you.” Oh, okay, I get it. It’s still about the yelling thing from a few days ago. Obviously Danna was more intimidated than I thought and the boys just wanted us to reconcile. She's right. Sometimes you really don’t know whether to love them or shoot them.
“I’d hug them, if I was in your place.” Our eyes meet, and after a split second, she smiles at me. Good grief, I actually held my breath until she did.
“They were really worried, you know. When word got out that your box didn’t arrive, I mean.” Obviously something in my face told her I wasn’t quite sure what I should do with the “They were worried”-information, because she adds, “But no one was worried enough to join the SAR-team, you know.” No one apart from her. Alright, I get the hint. But what to say?
“Danna… I’m sorry for what happened in the hospital tent. I shouldn’t have…” A wave of her hand shuts me up.
“You know, I shouldn’t have provoked you. I should have known you wouldn’t react well to me teasing you like that, and I still did. I’m sorry.” To be honest: I’m not sure as how to react to that. I expected… I don’t know what I expected. I just wanted to stay clear of her for a while, feeling like something between us… shifted. But now she’s here, and she’s waiting for an answer. Plus my leg and the heat seriously start to get at me.
“Look… we both weren’t acting exactly friendly that day. Let’s just… I don’t know… be a little more careful around each other, okay? And… uh… Danna?” Gods, there goes my eloquence. I sound like a frigging teenager. I’ve been sounding like that a lot in the past months. Really should work on that.
She raises an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
I try a smile. “Thanks for joining the SAR team.” And caring enough about me to possibly go against Korwin’s or anyone else’s orders with that. I just hope she gets the things I didn’t say.
Letting a little relief show through, she grins and says, “Should have seen the fit Magic threw when we came back. Join me for chow and let me tell you?” It’s a very blunt peace offering. I’d be an idiot not to take it.
“Sure.” This time, the smile is real.
And while we turn for walking to the mess tent, her grin grows wider, as she starts to talk. “So, we had just gottn you and Farrayn and that idiot they call Tarkker out of the box when suddenly Magic came charging onto the landing zone…”
While she’s going on talking, I try to hide a little smile, thinking that I might be still a screw-up, but a screw-up with friends. And that’s all it takes to make a difference wider than the Dune Sea.
~*~
TBC in Big Girl.