The Unquiet Thought, Chapter 10
So I meant to post this at least 4 days ago, but that obviously didn't happen. My bad. That means in addition to today's chapter you'll get another one on the weekend. And another installment of Memories.
Chapter 10
Thor leans his head back against the wall of the elevator. He is tired.
The Hydra base had been a thankless task and he dislikes the axe. It had not allowed for the same release of frustration in battle. He had not been able to lose himself properly, the unsettled feeling still trailing after him as it had all week.
All he wants at this moment is to shed his armor, heavy under the strain of combat, and then to sleep.
He will have to make an appearance in the common room though, for the traditional post-mission feast. But more than that, he is driven by the need to make up for his misdoings. It harrows at him that he left his fellow warriors. If there had been an emergency, a sudden need for his presence…
He has been a coward.
The first thing Thor sees when the doors open is his brother, as he had been Before. His hair neatly trimmed to chin length, partially slicked back and curling just a bit on the edges as it used to when they were younger. Wearing a crisp button up and pants tailored to him. True, the clothing is not the same, but Thor can see Loki in him.
For a moment Thor forgets that he is upset.
Loki is bright and happy and smiling, and when he opens his mouth in greeting-
“Sire.”
Thor chokes.
Happiness shifts to concern, touched with fear. The golem (the golem) curls into itself.
No.
He is still a coward.
Thor runs.
-
“Shit,” Tony says. “Shit.”
In the aftermath of Thor, Loki had rushed in panic to what Tony hopes is the lab. He wants to follow, but then he feels someone standing beside him and there is Steve. Tony had not heard the others enter the room.
“What just happened?”
“I don’t- I don’t… God damn it.”
He should go check the lab.
Steve grabs his arm.
“Please, Tony, don’t-”
“It’s like brainwashing, Cap.” He is vaguely aware of Clint standing sharply and leaving the room. “And the only thing he thinks he has just abandoned him. Again.” Steve’s voice is near pleading.
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
“I won’t.”
“Tony-“
“I said I won’t, okay? Jesus.” He tries to pull away, but the other man’s grip is like a clamp.
“We don’t know anything about the spells, Tony. Do you remember what Loki used to cast? They were awful, and the backlash was worse.” Steve shifts to grab him by the shoulders. “Anything could cause backlash.”
“I’ll be careful.”
“Just- tell me. When you are doing things.” His hands finally slip away and Tony steps back. “And when you need help.”
Natasha watches from the couch as he leaves the room.
When Tony goes down to the lab, he sees Loki curled up on the couch with Dummy sitting next to him and You pacing in worried circles. Butterfingers looks like he’s plotting; Tony isn’t sure how he feels about that.
“I’ve done something,” Loki whispers. “I’ve ruined- I don’t know how to fix it.”
Tony tucks Loki into the giant blanket he keeps on his own bed during colder months (brought to the lab the last time he passed out there when Pepper couldn’t move him), hands him a tablet, and sits with him for hours before Loki tells him that sleep ‘is not a thing it needs’ so Tony can go to bed. Dummy is still settled down by the edge of the couch.
Pepper sits up in bed when he walks in.
“It’s fine,” he says reflexively and then half flinches at the absurdity of it. Because it’s obviously not.
“What happened today?”
“Thor was a dick, that’s what happened.”
She gives him a Look, so he lies down and explains. Covers his eyes with his arm and tries not to think, to let the words become automatic. It doesn’t work.
“Pepper, I taught him how to read. I taught him how to READ, and he was so damn proud of himself, you don’t even know. He brought the book he was reading to me, he brought it and showed it to me because he-” his voice cracks a little.
“Oh, Tony.”
“He’s one of mine now.”
“That’s not something you can just decide.”
“The hell it isn’t.”
She lies down next to him, hand cupping over the light of the arc reactor.
“He’s mine,” Tony says again.
“This is going to cause so many problems.”
“I know.”
-
In the morning they get a call from Sitwell saying that Thor informed S.H.I.E.L.D he would be returning to Asgard.
“Well,” Clint shifts forward on the couch, elbows resting against his knees. “This sucks a bag of dicks.”
Interlude 4
Chapter 10
Thor leans his head back against the wall of the elevator. He is tired.
The Hydra base had been a thankless task and he dislikes the axe. It had not allowed for the same release of frustration in battle. He had not been able to lose himself properly, the unsettled feeling still trailing after him as it had all week.
All he wants at this moment is to shed his armor, heavy under the strain of combat, and then to sleep.
He will have to make an appearance in the common room though, for the traditional post-mission feast. But more than that, he is driven by the need to make up for his misdoings. It harrows at him that he left his fellow warriors. If there had been an emergency, a sudden need for his presence…
He has been a coward.
The first thing Thor sees when the doors open is his brother, as he had been Before. His hair neatly trimmed to chin length, partially slicked back and curling just a bit on the edges as it used to when they were younger. Wearing a crisp button up and pants tailored to him. True, the clothing is not the same, but Thor can see Loki in him.
For a moment Thor forgets that he is upset.
Loki is bright and happy and smiling, and when he opens his mouth in greeting-
“Sire.”
Thor chokes.
Happiness shifts to concern, touched with fear. The golem (the golem) curls into itself.
No.
He is still a coward.
Thor runs.
-
“Shit,” Tony says. “Shit.”
In the aftermath of Thor, Loki had rushed in panic to what Tony hopes is the lab. He wants to follow, but then he feels someone standing beside him and there is Steve. Tony had not heard the others enter the room.
“What just happened?”
“I don’t- I don’t… God damn it.”
He should go check the lab.
Steve grabs his arm.
“Please, Tony, don’t-”
“It’s like brainwashing, Cap.” He is vaguely aware of Clint standing sharply and leaving the room. “And the only thing he thinks he has just abandoned him. Again.” Steve’s voice is near pleading.
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
“I won’t.”
“Tony-“
“I said I won’t, okay? Jesus.” He tries to pull away, but the other man’s grip is like a clamp.
“We don’t know anything about the spells, Tony. Do you remember what Loki used to cast? They were awful, and the backlash was worse.” Steve shifts to grab him by the shoulders. “Anything could cause backlash.”
“I’ll be careful.”
“Just- tell me. When you are doing things.” His hands finally slip away and Tony steps back. “And when you need help.”
Natasha watches from the couch as he leaves the room.
When Tony goes down to the lab, he sees Loki curled up on the couch with Dummy sitting next to him and You pacing in worried circles. Butterfingers looks like he’s plotting; Tony isn’t sure how he feels about that.
“I’ve done something,” Loki whispers. “I’ve ruined- I don’t know how to fix it.”
Tony tucks Loki into the giant blanket he keeps on his own bed during colder months (brought to the lab the last time he passed out there when Pepper couldn’t move him), hands him a tablet, and sits with him for hours before Loki tells him that sleep ‘is not a thing it needs’ so Tony can go to bed. Dummy is still settled down by the edge of the couch.
Pepper sits up in bed when he walks in.
“It’s fine,” he says reflexively and then half flinches at the absurdity of it. Because it’s obviously not.
“What happened today?”
“Thor was a dick, that’s what happened.”
She gives him a Look, so he lies down and explains. Covers his eyes with his arm and tries not to think, to let the words become automatic. It doesn’t work.
“Pepper, I taught him how to read. I taught him how to READ, and he was so damn proud of himself, you don’t even know. He brought the book he was reading to me, he brought it and showed it to me because he-” his voice cracks a little.
“Oh, Tony.”
“He’s one of mine now.”
“That’s not something you can just decide.”
“The hell it isn’t.”
She lies down next to him, hand cupping over the light of the arc reactor.
“He’s mine,” Tony says again.
“This is going to cause so many problems.”
“I know.”
-
In the morning they get a call from Sitwell saying that Thor informed S.H.I.E.L.D he would be returning to Asgard.
“Well,” Clint shifts forward on the couch, elbows resting against his knees. “This sucks a bag of dicks.”
Interlude 4