Ficlet: No Returns, No Refunds
Mah man had told me of a magazine looking for submissions. Paid only in copies but the challenge was cool: 500 words and the only prompt was the word "return".
So I sat down, scratched out a few characters and while he was having dental surgery I wrote this ficlet. Under scrunity, the magazine wanted spiritual material, not the fantasy bit I had created. However, I fell in love with Bunny English and was sad that I couldn't tell you more about her or the really colorful town of Tilldae, where she lives. What I may do is knock out some more a la Cassandra just to get her out of my head. All will follow the same format: under 500 words and with one word prompts (randomly chosen).
Bunny English swayed idly in her net suspended from the ceiling and wished yet again that she had never taken this stupid job. She currently shared a room with five fools she wished she had never met.
Raquel, the thief hanging next to her, cried softly. Bunny nearly vomited and fought the urge to give her a good kick.
"Don't cry, my sweet! We shall escape!" announced the muscular man chained to the wall. Bunny pretended to gag.
The tied and gagged dwarf in the corner rolled his eyes at the robed man in the opposite corner in a similar situation. The man convulsed in silent laughter.
"Do us a favor, Ty, and shut up." The slender elf chained to the wall beside the man adjusted his legs and glared at Raquel. "You should do the same." He closed his eyes. "Between you two, it's hard to think." Bunny didn't bother to hide her grin.
"Why you-" Ty strained at his chains.
"Why me, what?" snarled the elf. "Who's fault is it that we're in this situation?"
Ty sputtered.
"Let me remind you," the elf paused for effect. "Who bought drinks for the entire tavern? Who was the moron bragging that we killed a dragon then says we need a guide? Moron. If we defeated a dragon, shouldn't we be able to defend ourselves against a few goons hiding in trees?"
Bunny snorted.
"I didn't think this would happen, Maxwell!" Ty yelled.
"Oh, really?" Maxwell laughed. "Repeat that when they come back to force us tell them where we hid the treasure." He looked at Bunny. "But they'll not harm you, will they, dear? Because you're with them."
Ty exploded. "Max, you've gone to far!"
"MaxWELL and I'm right, aren't I, love?" He smiled at her. "Game's up."
Bunny sighed and climbed down, landing on the floor. "Well played, elf."
"Bunny?!" Ty gasped. "Why?"
"Because you were stupid enough to wave gold around, thinking no one would notice." She coiled the rope absently. "I figured you for a coward so by locking you up, I could get you to tell where you hid it."
"There is no gold," Ty confessed. "I gambled it away. I've been using counterfeit coins."
She grinned. "This was pointless. Whatever, I can sell your armor and weapons."
"What will you do with us?" squeaked Raquel.
"Get you the heck out of my sight." She released Raquel, watching the thief fall to the floor in a heap before freeing the rest. "The silence spell will wear off," she assured the dwarf and the robed human.
Maxwell stood and rubbed his wrists. "Can I get my clothes back?"
"Sure". Bunny pointed to Ty and Raquel. "You do realize there is a warrant for his arrest, maybe a bounty on his head by now?"
Maxwell smiled evilly. "Excellent. Well met, Bunny English."
"Well met indeed, Maxwell Silver. Just remember one thing."
The elf frowned. "What's that?"
She winked. "No returns, no refunds."
So I sat down, scratched out a few characters and while he was having dental surgery I wrote this ficlet. Under scrunity, the magazine wanted spiritual material, not the fantasy bit I had created. However, I fell in love with Bunny English and was sad that I couldn't tell you more about her or the really colorful town of Tilldae, where she lives. What I may do is knock out some more a la Cassandra just to get her out of my head. All will follow the same format: under 500 words and with one word prompts (randomly chosen).
Bunny English swayed idly in her net suspended from the ceiling and wished yet again that she had never taken this stupid job. She currently shared a room with five fools she wished she had never met.
Raquel, the thief hanging next to her, cried softly. Bunny nearly vomited and fought the urge to give her a good kick.
"Don't cry, my sweet! We shall escape!" announced the muscular man chained to the wall. Bunny pretended to gag.
The tied and gagged dwarf in the corner rolled his eyes at the robed man in the opposite corner in a similar situation. The man convulsed in silent laughter.
"Do us a favor, Ty, and shut up." The slender elf chained to the wall beside the man adjusted his legs and glared at Raquel. "You should do the same." He closed his eyes. "Between you two, it's hard to think." Bunny didn't bother to hide her grin.
"Why you-" Ty strained at his chains.
"Why me, what?" snarled the elf. "Who's fault is it that we're in this situation?"
Ty sputtered.
"Let me remind you," the elf paused for effect. "Who bought drinks for the entire tavern? Who was the moron bragging that we killed a dragon then says we need a guide? Moron. If we defeated a dragon, shouldn't we be able to defend ourselves against a few goons hiding in trees?"
Bunny snorted.
"I didn't think this would happen, Maxwell!" Ty yelled.
"Oh, really?" Maxwell laughed. "Repeat that when they come back to force us tell them where we hid the treasure." He looked at Bunny. "But they'll not harm you, will they, dear? Because you're with them."
Ty exploded. "Max, you've gone to far!"
"MaxWELL and I'm right, aren't I, love?" He smiled at her. "Game's up."
Bunny sighed and climbed down, landing on the floor. "Well played, elf."
"Bunny?!" Ty gasped. "Why?"
"Because you were stupid enough to wave gold around, thinking no one would notice." She coiled the rope absently. "I figured you for a coward so by locking you up, I could get you to tell where you hid it."
"There is no gold," Ty confessed. "I gambled it away. I've been using counterfeit coins."
She grinned. "This was pointless. Whatever, I can sell your armor and weapons."
"What will you do with us?" squeaked Raquel.
"Get you the heck out of my sight." She released Raquel, watching the thief fall to the floor in a heap before freeing the rest. "The silence spell will wear off," she assured the dwarf and the robed human.
Maxwell stood and rubbed his wrists. "Can I get my clothes back?"
"Sure". Bunny pointed to Ty and Raquel. "You do realize there is a warrant for his arrest, maybe a bounty on his head by now?"
Maxwell smiled evilly. "Excellent. Well met, Bunny English."
"Well met indeed, Maxwell Silver. Just remember one thing."
The elf frowned. "What's that?"
She winked. "No returns, no refunds."