gah
it always seems that once i feel like im entering in a productive and joyful part of my life it slips away so suddenly that i barely see it go.
and i try to turn to careful introspection, but does that really help at all?
what am i doing with myself?
why am i not engaging fully in my dreams?
why am i not doing the little things that make me happy anymore?
where is my future going?
why do numbers and letters measure my success rate concerning my intelligence?
why is everyone telling me to go to college when i feel like there is so much more to learn outside of it?
why does college carry so much prestige?
why can't i just run away and join the circus?
why do i let my insecurities still override my ambitions (and even my talents)?
why is it that by merely living i am forced to contribute to things i think are evil and wrong?
why do people value living in luxury over living in harmony?
why can't i just show the world what i have?
why can't i put my finger on it?
im still searching in all of the cubbards and drawers. restless and desperate.
and i try to turn to careful introspection, but does that really help at all?
what am i doing with myself?
why am i not engaging fully in my dreams?
why am i not doing the little things that make me happy anymore?
where is my future going?
why do numbers and letters measure my success rate concerning my intelligence?
why is everyone telling me to go to college when i feel like there is so much more to learn outside of it?
why does college carry so much prestige?
why can't i just run away and join the circus?
why do i let my insecurities still override my ambitions (and even my talents)?
why is it that by merely living i am forced to contribute to things i think are evil and wrong?
why do people value living in luxury over living in harmony?
why can't i just show the world what i have?
why can't i put my finger on it?
im still searching in all of the cubbards and drawers. restless and desperate.