Reading Les Miserables
So I'm reading the Brick.
If you don't know what the Brick is, it's what's Les Miz fandom calls the novel Les Miserables. It's 959 pages long. And it doesn't have to be. The problem is that Hugo a) loves going off on tangents and b) never shuts up.
Let me give you an example. Yesterday I got to the point where Valjean and Cosette moved away and Marius, not knowing where, was sunk in despair. Meanwhile, the June Revolution was beginning to heat up in the streets of Paris.
Me: Oh, good! We're getting to the climax. What happens next?
Hugo: Well, first I have to have an essay about the difference between an uprising and an insurrection. A long one. With chapters.
Me: I really don't care, you know. *slogs through it*
Hugo: Oh, and then I have to talk for chapters about what all the common people were doing to prepare for the uprising.
Me:: Okay, that could be sort of relevant, if it doesn't go on too long...
Hugo: Did I mention that it goes on for chapters?
Me: Fine. *slogs through this as well*
Hugo: Now, part of the uprising started in a wine shop frequented by Les Amis...
Me: *excitedly* Yes?
Hugo: ...but now I have to stop and describe this wine shop, its proprietor, his wife and the menu for chapters.
Me: Can't we get on with the story?
Hugo: Chapters.
Me: *skips most of this in an effort to stay awake*
Hugo: Okay, we're finally in the wine shop with three members of Les Amis--
Me: *giving Hugo the fishy eyeball*
Hugo: And they're talking--
Me: I still don't trust you.
Hugo: One of them's Grantaire.
Me: Well...okay. This might be good.
Hugo: And now I'm going to have him babble for chapters on end about puns, liberty, the beauty of women, and love while making no sense whatsoever!
Me: WHAT THE FUCK DOES GRANTAIRE SOUNDING LIKE A LONG-WINDED CLONE OF FANTINE'S BOYFRIEND HAVE TO DO WITH THE STORY?!
I swear, I've never seen a book more in need of abridgment than this one. The Brick is maddening.