Insured Against the Apocalypse
I filed an insurance claim this week because of all the food that spoiled during the massive power loss earlier this month. Today I got the letter from the insurance company.
I am, as near as I can tell, insured against practically everything--fire; lightning; windstorms; hail; explosions; riots or civil commotion; aircraft crashing into the house; cars crashing into the house; smoke damage; vandalism or malicious mischief (which, to my mind, amounts to insurance against the Weasley Twins); theft; falling objects; the weight of ice, snow or sleet damaging the house, the roof, etc.; household flooding; the hot water system, air conditioning, sprinklers or appliances, tearing apart, crackling, burning, or bulging; any of the previous systems or appliances freezing; sudden or accidental electrical damage; and--this is the one that I really love:
VOLCANIC ERUPTIONS.
I think, if you wanted to stretch a point, that you could even say that I'm insured against the zombie apocalypse. Riots or civil commotion plus malicious mischief or vandalism seems to fit zombies nicely. I don't know how I'd file the claim in the event of the zombie apocalypse, but I am, nevertheless covered. And if Harry Dresden ever drops by this universe--well, I'm insured against fire, windstorms and explosions, as well as malicious mischief. To me, that sounds like the equivalent of John Marcone's in-universe "act of wizard" insurance.
What I am NOT insured against is power failure that takes place anywhere but on my property. So, alas, I will not get the cost of the food back. (As I would not have thought of it if I hadn't heard numerous people at the shelter discussing the idea, I'm not too fussed.)
Besides...I'm insured against everything else. Including volcanoes.
I am, as near as I can tell, insured against practically everything--fire; lightning; windstorms; hail; explosions; riots or civil commotion; aircraft crashing into the house; cars crashing into the house; smoke damage; vandalism or malicious mischief (which, to my mind, amounts to insurance against the Weasley Twins); theft; falling objects; the weight of ice, snow or sleet damaging the house, the roof, etc.; household flooding; the hot water system, air conditioning, sprinklers or appliances, tearing apart, crackling, burning, or bulging; any of the previous systems or appliances freezing; sudden or accidental electrical damage; and--this is the one that I really love:
VOLCANIC ERUPTIONS.
I think, if you wanted to stretch a point, that you could even say that I'm insured against the zombie apocalypse. Riots or civil commotion plus malicious mischief or vandalism seems to fit zombies nicely. I don't know how I'd file the claim in the event of the zombie apocalypse, but I am, nevertheless covered. And if Harry Dresden ever drops by this universe--well, I'm insured against fire, windstorms and explosions, as well as malicious mischief. To me, that sounds like the equivalent of John Marcone's in-universe "act of wizard" insurance.
What I am NOT insured against is power failure that takes place anywhere but on my property. So, alas, I will not get the cost of the food back. (As I would not have thought of it if I hadn't heard numerous people at the shelter discussing the idea, I'm not too fussed.)
Besides...I'm insured against everything else. Including volcanoes.