Song of the Badfic Writer
In June of this year, those of us who are members of the Bad Buffy Fic board were discussing all of the elements that go into bad fan fiction. Ginmar suggested that writers of badfic needed a theme song all their own.
This is the revised version of what I came up with. It's Buffyverse-specific, but I think that fans from any fandom would recognize this writer.
Here's my attempt:
SONG OF THE BADFIC WRITER
by Rhysdux
No flaming! That's all that I will ask of you.
Just remember these things as you read and review:
Everybody is human (yes, Angel and Spike)
And I've killed Riley Finn, who I really don't like.
And Dawn is no longer the Buffster's small sis,
But her daughter--and yes, she's a vampire miss.
And I'm in this story, though gorgeous and tall
A Slayer who's stacked like a giant brick wall.
Don't say that my character's name's Mary Sue,
'Cause my character's me and I'm real as you!
No flaming! I know that my spelling SO sucks
But when I'm a great author and earning big bucks,
About grammar and spelling, my public won't care.
If you do, you're a Nazi. Go get laid. So there.
And don't bitch that this isn't Joss Whedon's vision.
I won't be restricted by mere television.
I'll write up whatever I want in my story,
Including Oz/Darla and Buffy/Spike/Glory,
Because it's MY story, and I have the right
To say night is day and to say black is white.
No flaming! I hope that you love my AU
And compliment me as you really should do.
If you love it, please tell me (I'll get drunk on praise
And savor my fame for at least two days).
If you hate it and tell me, then I'll have to say,
"I can do what I want! It's just fun, yeah, okay?
It's a story. Not REAL! I've no issues, do you?"
I don't care what you think! But, please read and review.
This is the revised version of what I came up with. It's Buffyverse-specific, but I think that fans from any fandom would recognize this writer.
Here's my attempt:
SONG OF THE BADFIC WRITER
by Rhysdux
No flaming! That's all that I will ask of you.
Just remember these things as you read and review:
Everybody is human (yes, Angel and Spike)
And I've killed Riley Finn, who I really don't like.
And Dawn is no longer the Buffster's small sis,
But her daughter--and yes, she's a vampire miss.
And I'm in this story, though gorgeous and tall
A Slayer who's stacked like a giant brick wall.
Don't say that my character's name's Mary Sue,
'Cause my character's me and I'm real as you!
No flaming! I know that my spelling SO sucks
But when I'm a great author and earning big bucks,
About grammar and spelling, my public won't care.
If you do, you're a Nazi. Go get laid. So there.
And don't bitch that this isn't Joss Whedon's vision.
I won't be restricted by mere television.
I'll write up whatever I want in my story,
Including Oz/Darla and Buffy/Spike/Glory,
Because it's MY story, and I have the right
To say night is day and to say black is white.
No flaming! I hope that you love my AU
And compliment me as you really should do.
If you love it, please tell me (I'll get drunk on praise
And savor my fame for at least two days).
If you hate it and tell me, then I'll have to say,
"I can do what I want! It's just fun, yeah, okay?
It's a story. Not REAL! I've no issues, do you?"
I don't care what you think! But, please read and review.