Cant sleep...
Haven't been posting anything of substance lately. Having a hard time getting sleep, so this will have to occupy me for now. I remember how this thing....and alot of you used to pretty much control my life. Failed school, and put my entire life on hold for people I only knew through pictures and electronic words. Fucking crazy...
It's strange not going back to college. It's about that time for people to be heading back, and I feel like I need to go buy notebooks, pens and other shit like that. Can't get it through my head that I have a bachelors degree. Doesn't feel like it. College has perpetually made me a lost 18 year old, and there seems to be no kind of growth or closure. Nobody close to me really seems to think that my graduating college is worth mentioning or celebrating. It's SO ridiculously unmentioned that I half expect some crazy surprise party or something. I soon tell myself to shut the fuck up, and cut that fantasy out of my brain immediately. Should I feel guilty about a little wishful thinking? I do. I should just shut up and forget about all that. I dont wanna be a brat about it, and I dont want anyone kissing my ass over it. Get a job. Buy a house. Be independent and truly self sufficient. Do your own thing your own way ol' boy. Like you've burned to do your whole fucking life... That's the only reward you need.
It's strange not going back to college. It's about that time for people to be heading back, and I feel like I need to go buy notebooks, pens and other shit like that. Can't get it through my head that I have a bachelors degree. Doesn't feel like it. College has perpetually made me a lost 18 year old, and there seems to be no kind of growth or closure. Nobody close to me really seems to think that my graduating college is worth mentioning or celebrating. It's SO ridiculously unmentioned that I half expect some crazy surprise party or something. I soon tell myself to shut the fuck up, and cut that fantasy out of my brain immediately. Should I feel guilty about a little wishful thinking? I do. I should just shut up and forget about all that. I dont wanna be a brat about it, and I dont want anyone kissing my ass over it. Get a job. Buy a house. Be independent and truly self sufficient. Do your own thing your own way ol' boy. Like you've burned to do your whole fucking life... That's the only reward you need.