Yet another post in which I vent my frustrations
Hopefully it’s just the lack of hormones (placebo week for my pills), but I am having a rough time at work lately.
I am frustrated and stressed to the point of crying. I just feel like this crap is not worth the pay I am getting. It’s not too bad, but it seems like the same amount of BS I was dealing with at my last job, but that one paid twice as much so it at least felt like I was being compensated a bit. Now I am taking in not much more than I was sitting at home on unemployment. Most of the work isn’t difficult, it’s just that I am not given nearly enough information and I am pulled in on things and have no clue what is going on.
And I haven’t even been officially given an offer letter and hired. It’s been 3 weeks since I was told I was hired pending a background check and they are dragging their feet.
I did stand up to the boss today. He asked if I was comfortable doing some ‘black ops’ work where I would basically pretend to work for a documentary company in Arizona that was looking into buying equipment and call other companies and go through their sales process. I told him that I wasn’t. Not only am I not comfortable with that, I am a terrible liar and I get flustered easily. Not sure how he felt about me refusing to do it, but I am glad I stuck to my guns. It just gave me an uneasy feeling right away and even though it’s nothing illegal, it’s just sneaky and weird.
So much for my positive post the other day.
I am also just frustrated with my damn Achilles tendon. It doesn’t hurt, but it is still swollen. Nothing I have done has gotten the swelling down. There was as week during PT that it wasn’t swollen at all and then I fucked it up again. I can’t ask for more of the prescription anti-inflammatory meds because I don’t have insurance right now. Aleve is not working. Icing is not working. Taping it is not working. Not exercising for 2 weeks didn’t work. The only thing I can think of is to be more aggressive with my icing and do ice massages instead of just ice packs. Or I could invest in one of those electrode machines like they used in PT.
So because of the tendon I feel like I can’t do a proper workout. I don’t sweat nearly as much riding the bike as I do running or on the elliptical. And to me the amount of sweat is directly proportional to the goodness of a workout.
And I miss dance. Terribly. I miss my friends at class and I miss just dancing. Right now I feel like I will never be able to go back.
Gah. I need my hormones!
I guess on a good note, I have made good progress on the gift and hope to get it and the auction item done this weekend. And hopefully I'll even be able to start my drawing as well since I have Monday off. Yay 3 day weekend.
I am frustrated and stressed to the point of crying. I just feel like this crap is not worth the pay I am getting. It’s not too bad, but it seems like the same amount of BS I was dealing with at my last job, but that one paid twice as much so it at least felt like I was being compensated a bit. Now I am taking in not much more than I was sitting at home on unemployment. Most of the work isn’t difficult, it’s just that I am not given nearly enough information and I am pulled in on things and have no clue what is going on.
And I haven’t even been officially given an offer letter and hired. It’s been 3 weeks since I was told I was hired pending a background check and they are dragging their feet.
I did stand up to the boss today. He asked if I was comfortable doing some ‘black ops’ work where I would basically pretend to work for a documentary company in Arizona that was looking into buying equipment and call other companies and go through their sales process. I told him that I wasn’t. Not only am I not comfortable with that, I am a terrible liar and I get flustered easily. Not sure how he felt about me refusing to do it, but I am glad I stuck to my guns. It just gave me an uneasy feeling right away and even though it’s nothing illegal, it’s just sneaky and weird.
So much for my positive post the other day.
I am also just frustrated with my damn Achilles tendon. It doesn’t hurt, but it is still swollen. Nothing I have done has gotten the swelling down. There was as week during PT that it wasn’t swollen at all and then I fucked it up again. I can’t ask for more of the prescription anti-inflammatory meds because I don’t have insurance right now. Aleve is not working. Icing is not working. Taping it is not working. Not exercising for 2 weeks didn’t work. The only thing I can think of is to be more aggressive with my icing and do ice massages instead of just ice packs. Or I could invest in one of those electrode machines like they used in PT.
So because of the tendon I feel like I can’t do a proper workout. I don’t sweat nearly as much riding the bike as I do running or on the elliptical. And to me the amount of sweat is directly proportional to the goodness of a workout.
And I miss dance. Terribly. I miss my friends at class and I miss just dancing. Right now I feel like I will never be able to go back.
Gah. I need my hormones!
I guess on a good note, I have made good progress on the gift and hope to get it and the auction item done this weekend. And hopefully I'll even be able to start my drawing as well since I have Monday off. Yay 3 day weekend.