A secret to happiness
Well, I dunno, maybe it won't work for you, but it seems like an obvious thing to me.
There are some people who are happy (or think they are) about being unhappy. If that sounds stupid to you, I think it's because it is. If someone pisses me off in general, for whatever reason, and it's not someone I'm in regular contact with, I don't make it a habit to go find out what they're up to so I can (to paraphrase Cecil Adams) keep my disgust fresh, and be pleasantly outraged at their current doings.
But not everyone's like that. I happen to know of at least one individual who reads the LJs of people he/she doesn't like, perhaps as a source for gossip, I guess. It's not like they really WANT to know what those people are doing - but because of the enmity, they'll take their thoughts and posts and consider them in the worst possible light.
Are they happy doing that? I dunno - maybe they are, but I certainly can't understand it. I can understand how they might get a visceral thrill out of being angry at someone and gathering material with which to trash them, but that's not being *happy*, is it? That's having a good time being UNhappy. (Some folks are rather good at it - I know of one in particular whose diatribes make excellent reading.)
I'm posting this because I've recently witnessed evidence of this happening - not to me, but close enough to me that I'm aware of it. Now, I know there are people who aren't happy with me and mine - and perhaps they read my LJ to gather their own toxin for the sake of sharing it with their friends. Well, whatever. I just clambered out of bed from a brief nap, having snuggled the woman I love best in all the world, and I don't know if she noticed, but I was grinning when I got up. I was grinning because snuggling my wife is an uplifting experience that makes me very genuinely happy.
My life is GOOD - not perfect, of course (whose is?), but damn good. I just got an email from a co-worker from several years back who asked how I'd been, and my immediate response was "Great!" It occurred to me that, before my present relationship, if I were asked the same question, the answer was generally "Okay" or "Decent." The statistically-inclined will note an improvement.
So it seems to me that the secret to being happy is in seeking (and, with luck, obtaining) those things that make you *happy* - not those things that make you snarl.
Seems obvious to me, but evidently there are folk who don't get that.
There are some people who are happy (or think they are) about being unhappy. If that sounds stupid to you, I think it's because it is. If someone pisses me off in general, for whatever reason, and it's not someone I'm in regular contact with, I don't make it a habit to go find out what they're up to so I can (to paraphrase Cecil Adams) keep my disgust fresh, and be pleasantly outraged at their current doings.
But not everyone's like that. I happen to know of at least one individual who reads the LJs of people he/she doesn't like, perhaps as a source for gossip, I guess. It's not like they really WANT to know what those people are doing - but because of the enmity, they'll take their thoughts and posts and consider them in the worst possible light.
Are they happy doing that? I dunno - maybe they are, but I certainly can't understand it. I can understand how they might get a visceral thrill out of being angry at someone and gathering material with which to trash them, but that's not being *happy*, is it? That's having a good time being UNhappy. (Some folks are rather good at it - I know of one in particular whose diatribes make excellent reading.)
I'm posting this because I've recently witnessed evidence of this happening - not to me, but close enough to me that I'm aware of it. Now, I know there are people who aren't happy with me and mine - and perhaps they read my LJ to gather their own toxin for the sake of sharing it with their friends. Well, whatever. I just clambered out of bed from a brief nap, having snuggled the woman I love best in all the world, and I don't know if she noticed, but I was grinning when I got up. I was grinning because snuggling my wife is an uplifting experience that makes me very genuinely happy.
My life is GOOD - not perfect, of course (whose is?), but damn good. I just got an email from a co-worker from several years back who asked how I'd been, and my immediate response was "Great!" It occurred to me that, before my present relationship, if I were asked the same question, the answer was generally "Okay" or "Decent." The statistically-inclined will note an improvement.
So it seems to me that the secret to being happy is in seeking (and, with luck, obtaining) those things that make you *happy* - not those things that make you snarl.
Seems obvious to me, but evidently there are folk who don't get that.