Things already very exciting about 2010:
1. I'm painting.
2. And writing.
3. And will be learning how to play a couple of songs on the guitar. We'll see how that goes.
4. I'm going home.
5. And leaving home.
vacationing is weird.
The concept itself is backwards. "I'm going to go someplace so I can stress out and run harder and faster then I normally do and I will make the pretense that it will be relaxing!" I enjoy going places and visiting folk, but truthfully, there is nothing at all relaxing about vacations.
They are short.
They are fierce.
And I am always quite pleased at the idea of returning home to just breathe.
The week leading up to Christmas was a big fat jerk. Change in elevation, moon cycle that(thanks to birth control) no longer follows the moon, change in social climate, relationship reckoning, dehydration, not enough quiet time to process, go go go go go go
bleh.
It's been better this last week.
You become acutely aware of the people who effect your life most heavily and most positively when you are feeling like shit. When your are unable to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and all that bravado.
I was not a bright ray of sunshine this Christmas.
I was a wet blanket for the majority of the this trip back to Colorado.
And I'm not a bit sorry about it.
I am quite pleased and comforted by how my family reacted. I was cuddled, I was sought out, I was kept and let loose. I was protected and allowed to be completely human, even in a place where I was stressin' because I didn't feel like I could.
There's a scripture that goes along with this. Sometin' like "two is better than one, for woe to the (wo)man who falls alone and not one is there to help them rise."
Somethin like that.
amen.
Happy New Year
2. And writing.
3. And will be learning how to play a couple of songs on the guitar. We'll see how that goes.
4. I'm going home.
5. And leaving home.
vacationing is weird.
The concept itself is backwards. "I'm going to go someplace so I can stress out and run harder and faster then I normally do and I will make the pretense that it will be relaxing!" I enjoy going places and visiting folk, but truthfully, there is nothing at all relaxing about vacations.
They are short.
They are fierce.
And I am always quite pleased at the idea of returning home to just breathe.
The week leading up to Christmas was a big fat jerk. Change in elevation, moon cycle that(thanks to birth control) no longer follows the moon, change in social climate, relationship reckoning, dehydration, not enough quiet time to process, go go go go go go
bleh.
It's been better this last week.
You become acutely aware of the people who effect your life most heavily and most positively when you are feeling like shit. When your are unable to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and all that bravado.
I was not a bright ray of sunshine this Christmas.
I was a wet blanket for the majority of the this trip back to Colorado.
And I'm not a bit sorry about it.
I am quite pleased and comforted by how my family reacted. I was cuddled, I was sought out, I was kept and let loose. I was protected and allowed to be completely human, even in a place where I was stressin' because I didn't feel like I could.
There's a scripture that goes along with this. Sometin' like "two is better than one, for woe to the (wo)man who falls alone and not one is there to help them rise."
Somethin like that.
amen.
Happy New Year