"Mmmmm...chips!" (cont'd)
Well, they decided to extend the crossover drabble challenge to up to 500 words, so here's 400 more...
“Homie!”
“Marge! Isn’t this a great Fish ‘n’ Chips place? Make that three orders, Mr. Pirate.”
“Homie, this doesn’t look like a restaurant.”
“It’s not a restaurant, Mom. It’s a pirate ship!”
“Oh! Then this is…”
“Captain Sparrow, at your service, madam.”
“Oh, my!”
“Great costume, eh Marge? Don’t you love the wig?”
“It’s not a bloody WIG!”
“It’s not?”
“Please forgive my husband, Captain. Your hair is just very…unusual. And attractive.”
“Attractive?”
“Quiet, Homer!”
“Aye. Well, speakin’ of unusual hair, yours is as well. Unusual. Bein’ so…blue, an’ all. Still, very attractive. ”
“Why thank you, Captain! I do it myself.”
“As do I. P’raps you’d like to join me in my quarters. We can discuss the exigencies of elaborate coiffure and other aspects of one’s …er…toilette.”
“Oh, now Captain!”
“Homer! He’s comin’ on to Mom!”
“He is? He is! Look here, Sparrow…”
“It’s Captain Sparrow.”
“Whatever. You leave my wife alone or I’ll take my business elsewhere!”
“Your business?”
“My fish and chips! Some restaurant this is!”
“Homie, this isn’t a restaurant!”
“Well, what’re we doing here?”
“Precisely my thought. You keep nattering on about these Fish ‘n’ Chips and I’ve no bloody idea what you’re talking about.”
“Well. I should have known. Never trust a man who wears eyeliner. We shall relieve you of our presence, you swishy, stupid fake pirate. Let’s go, Marge. This is one lousy restaurant.”
“Just hold on there! What the devil’d you just call me? To me face? On me own ship?”
“Swishy. Stupid. And FAKE!”
“Gibbs! GIBBS!”
“Aye, Jack. What’s the to-do? You’ve guests?”
“I’ve a prisoner. Take this idiot below and chuck ‘im in the brig!”
“Who’s an…oh. Nice sword.”
“Captain, please! My husband didn’t mean it!”
“Did so!”
“HOMER!”
“Maybe I shall just have the brainless fool flogged. Gibbs! Tie this scurvy dog to the yardarm!”
“Oh! I get it! Cheech ‘n’ Chong! ‘Buggery on the ‘igh Seas’! I loved that!”
“Captain, are you all right?”
“I am…at a complete loss. Madam. Take your husband and get off my ship. Now. Please. Gibbs? Rum. I need rum. Lots of rum.”
“Can I stay? I could be a Cabin Boy!”
“A …listen…Bart, is it? The apple don’t usually fall far from the tree, if you get me drift. So no. Definitely not. Take yourself and your balding dullard of a progenitor and leave. Savvy?”
“But…”
“Now. NOW! Gibbs. Rum! Please!”
“Homie!”
“Marge! Isn’t this a great Fish ‘n’ Chips place? Make that three orders, Mr. Pirate.”
“Homie, this doesn’t look like a restaurant.”
“It’s not a restaurant, Mom. It’s a pirate ship!”
“Oh! Then this is…”
“Captain Sparrow, at your service, madam.”
“Oh, my!”
“Great costume, eh Marge? Don’t you love the wig?”
“It’s not a bloody WIG!”
“It’s not?”
“Please forgive my husband, Captain. Your hair is just very…unusual. And attractive.”
“Attractive?”
“Quiet, Homer!”
“Aye. Well, speakin’ of unusual hair, yours is as well. Unusual. Bein’ so…blue, an’ all. Still, very attractive. ”
“Why thank you, Captain! I do it myself.”
“As do I. P’raps you’d like to join me in my quarters. We can discuss the exigencies of elaborate coiffure and other aspects of one’s …er…toilette.”
“Oh, now Captain!”
“Homer! He’s comin’ on to Mom!”
“He is? He is! Look here, Sparrow…”
“It’s Captain Sparrow.”
“Whatever. You leave my wife alone or I’ll take my business elsewhere!”
“Your business?”
“My fish and chips! Some restaurant this is!”
“Homie, this isn’t a restaurant!”
“Well, what’re we doing here?”
“Precisely my thought. You keep nattering on about these Fish ‘n’ Chips and I’ve no bloody idea what you’re talking about.”
“Well. I should have known. Never trust a man who wears eyeliner. We shall relieve you of our presence, you swishy, stupid fake pirate. Let’s go, Marge. This is one lousy restaurant.”
“Just hold on there! What the devil’d you just call me? To me face? On me own ship?”
“Swishy. Stupid. And FAKE!”
“Gibbs! GIBBS!”
“Aye, Jack. What’s the to-do? You’ve guests?”
“I’ve a prisoner. Take this idiot below and chuck ‘im in the brig!”
“Who’s an…oh. Nice sword.”
“Captain, please! My husband didn’t mean it!”
“Did so!”
“HOMER!”
“Maybe I shall just have the brainless fool flogged. Gibbs! Tie this scurvy dog to the yardarm!”
“Oh! I get it! Cheech ‘n’ Chong! ‘Buggery on the ‘igh Seas’! I loved that!”
“Captain, are you all right?”
“I am…at a complete loss. Madam. Take your husband and get off my ship. Now. Please. Gibbs? Rum. I need rum. Lots of rum.”
“Can I stay? I could be a Cabin Boy!”
“A …listen…Bart, is it? The apple don’t usually fall far from the tree, if you get me drift. So no. Definitely not. Take yourself and your balding dullard of a progenitor and leave. Savvy?”
“But…”
“Now. NOW! Gibbs. Rum! Please!”