and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
I accompanied Jenny to Beth Israel this morning, for a sonogram of a lump her doctor had detected in her breast. given the fact that her mom is slowly dying of breast and ovarian cancer and she has multiple second-degree relatives who have had breast cancer, this was obviously a nerve-wracking experience for her, and therefore also for me. thankfully, it turns out that she is fine. she does not have a tumor, or even a cyst, which her doctor had suspected; she just has an unusually large lump of connective tissue in her left breast. this is actually not too much of a surprise, considering that she has, well, unusually large breasts.
the whole thing was actually good for me in a couple of ways, though I feel almost guilty saying so. first of all, I slept over at her house last night, which forced me to get out of my bed/cocoon and be at least a teensy bit social. more importantly, though, the fact that she wanted me - and ONLY me - to go with her made me feel special and needed, at a time when I've been feeling exactly the opposite. it's nice to know that I can be useful to someone, even if it is only as a hand-holder and/or talking security blanket.
of course, even the importance of my role in Jenny's problems wasn't enough to distract me from my own petty ones - namely, the Boy Conundrum. I made a quick call last night to let him know that I wanted to talk this week, preferably in person. he invited me over for dinner on Thursday, and after a little bit of hesitation (admittedly, not much), I agreed. I am both hoping and fearing that this will lead to us making out again. of course, there is the possibility that he's not actually that attracted to me, and what happened last Thursday was just a matter of convenience and proximity and me being an idiot. (just for the record, if that turns out to be the case, I might have to accept my obvious destiny and become a nun.) regardless, I need to look stunning, without looking like I'm trying to look stunning... truly a dilemma of VAST PROPORTIONS!! okay, I'm superficial, live with it.
on the bright side, I managed to get three resumes sent out before I went to Jenny's last night. I'm hoping the job search, along with homework, will give me something constructive to do and help keep me from obsessing over all the questions I want to ask him. because that's totally going to happen... right?
p.s. sorry about the terrible pun in the lj-cut. I just couldn't resist...
the whole thing was actually good for me in a couple of ways, though I feel almost guilty saying so. first of all, I slept over at her house last night, which forced me to get out of my bed/cocoon and be at least a teensy bit social. more importantly, though, the fact that she wanted me - and ONLY me - to go with her made me feel special and needed, at a time when I've been feeling exactly the opposite. it's nice to know that I can be useful to someone, even if it is only as a hand-holder and/or talking security blanket.
of course, even the importance of my role in Jenny's problems wasn't enough to distract me from my own petty ones - namely, the Boy Conundrum. I made a quick call last night to let him know that I wanted to talk this week, preferably in person. he invited me over for dinner on Thursday, and after a little bit of hesitation (admittedly, not much), I agreed. I am both hoping and fearing that this will lead to us making out again. of course, there is the possibility that he's not actually that attracted to me, and what happened last Thursday was just a matter of convenience and proximity and me being an idiot. (just for the record, if that turns out to be the case, I might have to accept my obvious destiny and become a nun.) regardless, I need to look stunning, without looking like I'm trying to look stunning... truly a dilemma of VAST PROPORTIONS!! okay, I'm superficial, live with it.
on the bright side, I managed to get three resumes sent out before I went to Jenny's last night. I'm hoping the job search, along with homework, will give me something constructive to do and help keep me from obsessing over all the questions I want to ask him. because that's totally going to happen... right?
p.s. sorry about the terrible pun in the lj-cut. I just couldn't resist...