Remembering: hongbin/hyuk
Title: Remembering
Pairing: Hongbin/Hyuk
Warning: Implied cheating
When he closes his eyes, he still remembers.
He remembers the hurt in Sanghyuk’s eyes, he remembers the face of complete and utter shock Sanghyuk had but most of all he remembers the chocked tone of “Hyung?” that struggles to come out of Sanghyuk’s mouth. Hongbin hates that choking noise, he hates it; because he knows it only comes when tears do.
Of course, Hongbin doesn’t run after him. Of course, Hongbin lets him go and lets him cry on his own even though he knows every bit of how that would look like (and how completely destroyed Sanghyuk might be after what happens.) Hongbin lets him go,
Hongbin remembers how he lets himself off the bed, bidding Leo farewell as if nothing had happened. He even manages to smile and say, “It’s alright, he’s just a friend.” Hongbin knows of course, he wouldn’t be meeting Leo anytime soon (or ever.)
Hongbin slips on his boxers, and slumps down on the bed that smelled of sex and sweat and Leo. Nothing of which reminded him of Sanghyuk. He growls in anger and tears the sheets and pillows of the bed.
As fast as he gets furious, Hongbin slumps down on the floor. Silent tears streaming down his cheeks, he wishes that he never met Leo. He wishes that he never did that to Sanghyuk. But he did of course, he did.
Hongbin only manages to howl in anguish as he finally realises the weight of his actions.
That happened two years ago. Two years ago, Hongbin was happy. Hongbin had Sanghyuk. Hongbin had found contentment with Sanghyuk. Hongbin realises that he’s probably never going to find happiness ever again but he also thinks that he deserves the kind of half-way life he lives now.
The only thing Hongbin thinks is at least not the only cursed thing about him, is his photographic memory. Even though Hongbin remembers that exact memory two years ago, he also remembers how Sanghyuk looks and feels and is.
To Hongbin, Sanghyuk was sunlight. Sanghyuk had a way of sitting down on chairs, where he’d put his feet on the little extra wood that was built in between the legs of chairs. The way he’d sniff timidly at his food like a little mouse because he was afraid that it’d taste bad or contain cheese.
Sanghyuk always smiled like it was his very last chance to do so. The edges of his cute, pink lips reaching so high and his eyes disappearing into crescents at the top of his cheeks. Hongbin always found that that was what made him feel like Sanghyuk was sunlight and Hongbin was a wilting sunflower that was constantly kept in the dark. (Although of course Hongbin had Sanghyuk back then, and so he bloomed to be something more than he could have ever been by himself.)
A knock on the door of his studio apartment woke him from his thoughts. He sighs, wondering what to feel. It’s been days since he saw anyone, months since he talked to others and two years since he liked anyone. Hongbin wonders whether he should just leave the knocks on the door unanswered.
He suddenly hears the tune of the knocks, they come in the tune of one of the soundtracks from the show “Crayon Shin Chan”. Hongbin feels his heart stutter because the only person he knows who would do that was.
Sanghyuk was standing there in his doorway, looking slightly older than two years ago. His hair was a crazy light blonde, that reminded Hongbin more of sunlight than ever. Hongbin doesn’t know what to say, he feels like he’s in one of his memories but he has never seen Sanghyuk in that kind of blonde.
Still, Hongbin pinches his arms, unsure of whether he might have fallen asleep on his bed and ended up dreaming.
Sanghyuk smiles, a ghost of the smiles he used to make in the past; a shy, timid smile that didn’t fill his face anymore. “HI… Hyung.” Sanghyuk mumbles, all Hongbin hears is the melody that made his heart sing and still continued to do so. He hadn’t even forgotten it, of course.
"It’s been a while, huh," Hongbin stutters slightly, forgetting how nervous he always felt when he was around Sanghyuk, how the butterflies in his stomach never seemed to sit still in Sanghyuk’s presence.
"A while…"Sanghyuk says, his sentence left floating in the spaces between them, because both of them know what happened and both of them don’t actually know what to say in accordance to what happened. Sanghyuk smiles his timid, tiny smile again and tilts his head to side, "Mind if I come in?"
Hongbin feels the stutter in voice become a stutter in his heart, and he stumbles to the side to let Sanghyuk in. When he sees Sanghyuk inside and looking around his too-clean apartment and he’s properly convinced that this isn’t a dream and that even if it was, Hongbin wants to say the right thing and to never lose Sanghyuk again.
"Leo and me. It… It was a mistake, I was stup-" Sanghyuk had placed his hand right on top of Hongbin’s mouth to stop him from talking and all Hongbin sees are Sanghyuk’s eyes that are a pure shade of light brown with bits of hazel stuck in between.
Sanghyuk whispers, breathily, “I know.” and he ducks his head down to give Hongbin a light peck on his lips, which slowly turns into a deep kiss which is filled with their apologies, their sadness, how much they’ve missed each other. Their love.
In that moment, Hongbin realises he has found love again and that he should never let go of it ever again.
Pairing: Hongbin/Hyuk
Warning: Implied cheating
When he closes his eyes, he still remembers.
He remembers the hurt in Sanghyuk’s eyes, he remembers the face of complete and utter shock Sanghyuk had but most of all he remembers the chocked tone of “Hyung?” that struggles to come out of Sanghyuk’s mouth. Hongbin hates that choking noise, he hates it; because he knows it only comes when tears do.
Of course, Hongbin doesn’t run after him. Of course, Hongbin lets him go and lets him cry on his own even though he knows every bit of how that would look like (and how completely destroyed Sanghyuk might be after what happens.) Hongbin lets him go,
Hongbin remembers how he lets himself off the bed, bidding Leo farewell as if nothing had happened. He even manages to smile and say, “It’s alright, he’s just a friend.” Hongbin knows of course, he wouldn’t be meeting Leo anytime soon (or ever.)
Hongbin slips on his boxers, and slumps down on the bed that smelled of sex and sweat and Leo. Nothing of which reminded him of Sanghyuk. He growls in anger and tears the sheets and pillows of the bed.
As fast as he gets furious, Hongbin slumps down on the floor. Silent tears streaming down his cheeks, he wishes that he never met Leo. He wishes that he never did that to Sanghyuk. But he did of course, he did.
Hongbin only manages to howl in anguish as he finally realises the weight of his actions.
That happened two years ago. Two years ago, Hongbin was happy. Hongbin had Sanghyuk. Hongbin had found contentment with Sanghyuk. Hongbin realises that he’s probably never going to find happiness ever again but he also thinks that he deserves the kind of half-way life he lives now.
The only thing Hongbin thinks is at least not the only cursed thing about him, is his photographic memory. Even though Hongbin remembers that exact memory two years ago, he also remembers how Sanghyuk looks and feels and is.
To Hongbin, Sanghyuk was sunlight. Sanghyuk had a way of sitting down on chairs, where he’d put his feet on the little extra wood that was built in between the legs of chairs. The way he’d sniff timidly at his food like a little mouse because he was afraid that it’d taste bad or contain cheese.
Sanghyuk always smiled like it was his very last chance to do so. The edges of his cute, pink lips reaching so high and his eyes disappearing into crescents at the top of his cheeks. Hongbin always found that that was what made him feel like Sanghyuk was sunlight and Hongbin was a wilting sunflower that was constantly kept in the dark. (Although of course Hongbin had Sanghyuk back then, and so he bloomed to be something more than he could have ever been by himself.)
A knock on the door of his studio apartment woke him from his thoughts. He sighs, wondering what to feel. It’s been days since he saw anyone, months since he talked to others and two years since he liked anyone. Hongbin wonders whether he should just leave the knocks on the door unanswered.
He suddenly hears the tune of the knocks, they come in the tune of one of the soundtracks from the show “Crayon Shin Chan”. Hongbin feels his heart stutter because the only person he knows who would do that was.
Sanghyuk was standing there in his doorway, looking slightly older than two years ago. His hair was a crazy light blonde, that reminded Hongbin more of sunlight than ever. Hongbin doesn’t know what to say, he feels like he’s in one of his memories but he has never seen Sanghyuk in that kind of blonde.
Still, Hongbin pinches his arms, unsure of whether he might have fallen asleep on his bed and ended up dreaming.
Sanghyuk smiles, a ghost of the smiles he used to make in the past; a shy, timid smile that didn’t fill his face anymore. “HI… Hyung.” Sanghyuk mumbles, all Hongbin hears is the melody that made his heart sing and still continued to do so. He hadn’t even forgotten it, of course.
"It’s been a while, huh," Hongbin stutters slightly, forgetting how nervous he always felt when he was around Sanghyuk, how the butterflies in his stomach never seemed to sit still in Sanghyuk’s presence.
"A while…"Sanghyuk says, his sentence left floating in the spaces between them, because both of them know what happened and both of them don’t actually know what to say in accordance to what happened. Sanghyuk smiles his timid, tiny smile again and tilts his head to side, "Mind if I come in?"
Hongbin feels the stutter in voice become a stutter in his heart, and he stumbles to the side to let Sanghyuk in. When he sees Sanghyuk inside and looking around his too-clean apartment and he’s properly convinced that this isn’t a dream and that even if it was, Hongbin wants to say the right thing and to never lose Sanghyuk again.
"Leo and me. It… It was a mistake, I was stup-" Sanghyuk had placed his hand right on top of Hongbin’s mouth to stop him from talking and all Hongbin sees are Sanghyuk’s eyes that are a pure shade of light brown with bits of hazel stuck in between.
Sanghyuk whispers, breathily, “I know.” and he ducks his head down to give Hongbin a light peck on his lips, which slowly turns into a deep kiss which is filled with their apologies, their sadness, how much they’ve missed each other. Their love.
In that moment, Hongbin realises he has found love again and that he should never let go of it ever again.