So when I wrote (that was a long time ago) I was posting about G and his ADHD. At the same time we had begun to see some distressing symptoms in Holly. We were at the time calling them only Social Anxiety. We got her attached a LCSW who is wonderful. Things seemed stable through her freshman year. During her Sophomore year they began to get worse. She developed some sensory triggers and began to have trouble just going to school.
Meanwhile we solved Griffin and sleep, one milligram of melatonin. ONE. Yep that is all it takes. It's bee a full year actually 13 month since we tried it and he may wake up in the middle of the night once every 2-3 MONTHS.
My expectations for my children have changed. I have a hard time imagining Holly being able to leave for College in a year. She has great plans and hopes but Already I am going on a school trip with her because it's to New York and we can rescue her, if things go bad, quick enough.
I read
this article and it really hit home.
Holly was my easy girl. I got to brag how she knew how to spell her name before she was 2, She was writing it on he art work at 2 although it took us a while to recognize it and once we worked with her a little bit she was writing it for every one to read. She taught her self to read. It was actually scary. She read a whole early reader, one she had not seen before, (we asked around) by herself on our way back from the bookstore with it. She was 4. In kindergarten she was in a 3rd/4th grade reading group. She drew beautifully and loved school. Oh don’t get me wrong we had signs that trouble could happen but we said she was shy, she bottled up her feelings, she was too sensitive to the needs of her friends, she was easily startled. Normal stuff right. Today we celebrate the days she gets through a full day of school, Days she gets out of bed and goes to school. when she does her homework without me crying. Days that I am not afraid of what is going to happen. She is still our beautiful daughter but she can’t always function in the world. She withdraws and hides. She can’t cope.
Not everyday is bad she preforms in the school choir. She has a wonderful boyfriend, she has a good group of friends. She had some very normal teenage problems (who said what about whom and when and who is going out with whom). She wants to sing a duet on the choir trip with a friend. I worry her teacher wont pick her because of her anxiety.
I be there trying to hold her had always giving her a safe place. But I don’t think she’ll be leaving for college in 18 months. Even if she does I can't "kvell" about it I'm too afraid she'll be comming home fast.