Why I was NOT kidnapped at age 8 (& earlier) and then murdered.
(I've been asked, so let me say that reposting a link to this is ok. I would be honored if you think that this is helpful.)
I want to share information that might help another child from being a victim. I actually have never thought of myself as a victim of the 2 criminals. I forgot all about these 2 incidents except for being praised for having done a good thing. That is an achievement in itself that my parents, especially my Mom (since these events took place in Miami, not in Seattle where my dad & other mom were), should be proud of.
While most of this might be common sense, I think that hearing in a new way what we already know to do sometimes can make the difference. Feel free to forward the link to this rough draft if you find it interesting or helpful. Comments or suggestions are very welcome.
If you have been hurt yourself and cannot stand reading certain words without anxiety, I understand and suggest you do not click on the lj-cut or, if you've arrived at this post directly, read below the ~~~~. I am only going to use one or two words that might be a severe trigger and I will not be graphic, but I respect that you are working on processing things and may need to do further work before you can read or hear something that might today trigger a bad reaction. I wish you healing and blessings with all my heart.
I've been more active on FaceBook because it restricts me from typing or reading long entries and overdoing things. I'm copying some comments I made there to store here as my first draft. I don't know when I'll be well enough to expand on this with techniques my family used to educate me without scaring me, but at least this is a start.
~~~~
Both criminals had previously kidnapped, raped, and murdered other children, and because of my training, I was key to the police finding them and convicting them of a previous murder of a child. If you know me well, you may be wondering why I say I wasn't affected by these criminals when I actually had for a while a high level of anxiety that I might be attacked. I learned that anxiety during and after my junior high years, when I was groped by people I trusted. What some weird strangers did did nothing to my emotional state.
These comments are about the second and more severe incident which happened when I was 8 or 9 and a friend's family took us to a school fair:
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Cheryl L. Walker
I was 8 or so when a murder/child rapist snatched me at a school fair, but thanks to my mom's training, I fought him off, thinking, "You don't know who you are dealing with." I created enough blood evidence that I didn't have to be involved in the court case: they linked his blood with blood found at the scene of his last victim: a girl he abducted from the same school who looked "scarily" like me, says my mom.
Until my mom told me recently what I'd done, I mostly remembered being told I did a good thing. I've *got* to get Mom to write an article on teaching your children that they can fight back without scaring the bejeebus out of them. I literally owe her my life twice over, for birthing me and then teaching me without scaring me.
10 hours ago
Cheryl L. Walker
From a conversation this year about the attempted abduction/rape/murder (because that is what he did to all his victims): Mom said, "Witnesses said you were like a wild tiger tearing into him. The poor previous girl had been seen crying while he carried her off school grounds, but he just smiled at concerned adults and said that his daughter was upset." "Horrible. [pause] Did I kick him in the nuts, too?" "Yes. Yes, you did." "Good."
BTW, *I* fought him off till he dropped me. The adults were too stunned to help because of the sudden intensity of my attack. I ended up catching my breath in a ring of stunned people who then started making sure I was ok. I find it comforting that an 8-yr-old girl can fight off an experienced criminal by herself.
I'll get Mom to write up her technique and then post it somewhere public. Friend or FB email me if you want a link to it later. Basically, though, learning when you *can and should* fight back is half the battle.
10 hours ago
[Someone Else]
Wow Cheryl that is awesome!
5 hours ago
Cheryl L. Walker
My Mom is awesome. I really need to start writing down in detail the stuff she knows. If she hadn't taught me to defend myself, I wouldn't be here. If she had taught me to defend myself in a way that scared me, I would never have left my room.
Something about Jaycee Dugard's return really pulled all that together for me. I would be extremely and humbly glad if what I did could take my mom's teachings to another child and save that child.
about an hour ago
-----------------
I talked with Mom this morning and she agreed I could talk about this. When I said I wanted to do something so my experience and her training could help others, she said that the main thing was that she gave me permission to fight under certain circumstances. I'll try to get more detail later, but here's basically what she said:
"Making sure you knew to defend yourself and yet making sure you weren't scared was like walking a tightrope. I told you that I didn't like fighting under most circumstances, but that if someone tried to hurt you or take you where you didn't want to go, that I gave you my permission to yell no, that you don't know the person and to scratch and hit and bite if you needed to. I told you this probably would never happen, but I wanted to give you permission ahead of time just in case. I treated your intellect and emotions about anything with great respect, so my sitting you down and talking seriously was not something unusual."
I've kinda pushed myself too far and the http://www.stillsdisease.org is acting up. But if this can help a parent or child, even in this rough & incomplete form, I don't care about a flare-up. I may record my Mom & I talking about this & post that as the next stage.
No matter what, I promise you that I will work on this further, now that it finally occurred to me in my fortieth year that something from my childhood that I thought was no big deal was actually something that writing about could help others.
Wow. My family did a REALLY good job there.
I want to share information that might help another child from being a victim. I actually have never thought of myself as a victim of the 2 criminals. I forgot all about these 2 incidents except for being praised for having done a good thing. That is an achievement in itself that my parents, especially my Mom (since these events took place in Miami, not in Seattle where my dad & other mom were), should be proud of.
While most of this might be common sense, I think that hearing in a new way what we already know to do sometimes can make the difference. Feel free to forward the link to this rough draft if you find it interesting or helpful. Comments or suggestions are very welcome.
If you have been hurt yourself and cannot stand reading certain words without anxiety, I understand and suggest you do not click on the lj-cut or, if you've arrived at this post directly, read below the ~~~~. I am only going to use one or two words that might be a severe trigger and I will not be graphic, but I respect that you are working on processing things and may need to do further work before you can read or hear something that might today trigger a bad reaction. I wish you healing and blessings with all my heart.
I've been more active on FaceBook because it restricts me from typing or reading long entries and overdoing things. I'm copying some comments I made there to store here as my first draft. I don't know when I'll be well enough to expand on this with techniques my family used to educate me without scaring me, but at least this is a start.
~~~~
Both criminals had previously kidnapped, raped, and murdered other children, and because of my training, I was key to the police finding them and convicting them of a previous murder of a child. If you know me well, you may be wondering why I say I wasn't affected by these criminals when I actually had for a while a high level of anxiety that I might be attacked. I learned that anxiety during and after my junior high years, when I was groped by people I trusted. What some weird strangers did did nothing to my emotional state.
These comments are about the second and more severe incident which happened when I was 8 or 9 and a friend's family took us to a school fair:
-----------------
Cheryl L. Walker
I was 8 or so when a murder/child rapist snatched me at a school fair, but thanks to my mom's training, I fought him off, thinking, "You don't know who you are dealing with." I created enough blood evidence that I didn't have to be involved in the court case: they linked his blood with blood found at the scene of his last victim: a girl he abducted from the same school who looked "scarily" like me, says my mom.
Until my mom told me recently what I'd done, I mostly remembered being told I did a good thing. I've *got* to get Mom to write an article on teaching your children that they can fight back without scaring the bejeebus out of them. I literally owe her my life twice over, for birthing me and then teaching me without scaring me.
10 hours ago
Cheryl L. Walker
From a conversation this year about the attempted abduction/rape/murder (because that is what he did to all his victims): Mom said, "Witnesses said you were like a wild tiger tearing into him. The poor previous girl had been seen crying while he carried her off school grounds, but he just smiled at concerned adults and said that his daughter was upset." "Horrible. [pause] Did I kick him in the nuts, too?" "Yes. Yes, you did." "Good."
BTW, *I* fought him off till he dropped me. The adults were too stunned to help because of the sudden intensity of my attack. I ended up catching my breath in a ring of stunned people who then started making sure I was ok. I find it comforting that an 8-yr-old girl can fight off an experienced criminal by herself.
I'll get Mom to write up her technique and then post it somewhere public. Friend or FB email me if you want a link to it later. Basically, though, learning when you *can and should* fight back is half the battle.
10 hours ago
[Someone Else]
Wow Cheryl that is awesome!
5 hours ago
Cheryl L. Walker
My Mom is awesome. I really need to start writing down in detail the stuff she knows. If she hadn't taught me to defend myself, I wouldn't be here. If she had taught me to defend myself in a way that scared me, I would never have left my room.
Something about Jaycee Dugard's return really pulled all that together for me. I would be extremely and humbly glad if what I did could take my mom's teachings to another child and save that child.
about an hour ago
-----------------
I talked with Mom this morning and she agreed I could talk about this. When I said I wanted to do something so my experience and her training could help others, she said that the main thing was that she gave me permission to fight under certain circumstances. I'll try to get more detail later, but here's basically what she said:
"Making sure you knew to defend yourself and yet making sure you weren't scared was like walking a tightrope. I told you that I didn't like fighting under most circumstances, but that if someone tried to hurt you or take you where you didn't want to go, that I gave you my permission to yell no, that you don't know the person and to scratch and hit and bite if you needed to. I told you this probably would never happen, but I wanted to give you permission ahead of time just in case. I treated your intellect and emotions about anything with great respect, so my sitting you down and talking seriously was not something unusual."
I've kinda pushed myself too far and the http://www.stillsdisease.org is acting up. But if this can help a parent or child, even in this rough & incomplete form, I don't care about a flare-up. I may record my Mom & I talking about this & post that as the next stage.
No matter what, I promise you that I will work on this further, now that it finally occurred to me in my fortieth year that something from my childhood that I thought was no big deal was actually something that writing about could help others.
Wow. My family did a REALLY good job there.