(no subject)
Did you ever have one of those days where what you want most in the world is to be able to selectively erase the contents of your brain? I'm not sure why, but today has been spent -- when not throwing myself into something that requires all my concentration in order to avoid letting my mind wander -- recalling in exquisite detail all manner of things that involve being embarrassed, publicly humiliated, or other similar unpleasantness. Why is it that I can remember in vivid detail embarrassing incidents from kindergarten 30 years ago, but I can't remember things that are good and/or useful from even as late as last week? Seriously, regular expressions are much more useful to me to have stored in my brain than the memory of being laughed at to the point that I left the room in tears during speech class in eighth grade, can't I pleeeeeaaaase swap them out?
Yeah, I know there's probably some perfectly good reason that the sorts of things involving some variety of emotional trauma imprint more strongly than other, happier events, but I'd love to either get rid of them entirely (and free up that space in my brain for more important things, like lyrics to obscure 80s pop songs) or at the very least stop dredging them up periodically for no apparent reason other than to make myself unhappy. I'd be perfectly happy to turn those sticks into kindling instead of repeatedly beating myself up with them.
I think my distraction for later will be trying to come up with a decent WordPress template; I'd been hoping to spend a little time working out the installation earlier, but it turned out to be disappointing as a long-term distraction sort of project: easiest setup ever, it took less than five minutes to install and get running. I never thought I'd complain that a piece of software was too easy to install.
[For the record, I'm perfectly okay; not particularly down or depressed, just having an "off" brain day.]
Yeah, I know there's probably some perfectly good reason that the sorts of things involving some variety of emotional trauma imprint more strongly than other, happier events, but I'd love to either get rid of them entirely (and free up that space in my brain for more important things, like lyrics to obscure 80s pop songs) or at the very least stop dredging them up periodically for no apparent reason other than to make myself unhappy. I'd be perfectly happy to turn those sticks into kindling instead of repeatedly beating myself up with them.
I think my distraction for later will be trying to come up with a decent WordPress template; I'd been hoping to spend a little time working out the installation earlier, but it turned out to be disappointing as a long-term distraction sort of project: easiest setup ever, it took less than five minutes to install and get running. I never thought I'd complain that a piece of software was too easy to install.
[For the record, I'm perfectly okay; not particularly down or depressed, just having an "off" brain day.]