(no subject)
A friend was telling me I need to post more blogs. And I was like "I dont do anything lately, so I dont have any awesome stories." and they were like "peejer you always have awesome stories, think of something." and I was like "no seriously, I dont got shitall, because I stopped drinking as much and lately I am sad." and they were like "what the fuck, dont be emo, write a fucking blog." and I was like "fine bitch, I will write about my balls"
And here it is:
So I'm a dude.
Sometimes I like to watch porno. It happens.
And awhile back I was thinking: "dang, all these dudes shave their balls, whats with that?"
And I kept thinking about it, because I secretly love cock and balls wanted to know was it because it felt good, or did it make their peepees look longer or what? Why? WHY GOD WHY?
And eventually I was like "dang, maybe I'll try that shit out, maybe it rules?"
Unwilling to take an actual razor blade to my no-no zone, I started looking for other options. Wax is scary. Hair removal chemicals make me worry about possible mutations. I use a regular Norelco shaver on my face/neckbeards, and I've always been happy, so I bought this Norelco electric BG 2030 body shaver razor deal. (further referred to as "The BS") Reviews on the internet for it sounded good. And you can always trust things you read on the internet, so hey, why not?
I was actually pretty afraid to try it. Because A. its an electrical device that's designed to slice. and B. I was intending to apply it to my genitals. For a dude that's pretty scary stuff. I had all sorts of horrible thoughts floating through my head like "OMG WHAT IF I GETS RZAR BURNZ ONMY BALLSACS" Cuz fucking shit, no one wants razor burns on their ballsack.
Because I am secretly a pussy I decided to shave the letter P out of my thigh. That worked, so I did a J on the other one. AWESOME.
With the thigh test out of the way it was time to get to the jewels. The razor is pretty nice because it comes with two different heads and some attachments that gives you a wide variety of options for hair length. You could do a basic trim if you want a little manscaping, or you can go shave completely smooth for the ever-popular prepubescent boy look. (I had to look that up to make sure I spelled prepubescent correctly. "PRE PUBE SCENT? that can't be right? that sounds like some sort of air freshener")
The results? I will spare you gentle readers with the process involved, but the final results rule. The answer to the question is that it feels great, and now I pretty much sit at home with my hand down my pants. FOR HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS.
And here it is:
So I'm a dude.
Sometimes I like to watch porno. It happens.
And awhile back I was thinking: "dang, all these dudes shave their balls, whats with that?"
And I kept thinking about it, because I secretly love cock and balls wanted to know was it because it felt good, or did it make their peepees look longer or what? Why? WHY GOD WHY?
And eventually I was like "dang, maybe I'll try that shit out, maybe it rules?"
Unwilling to take an actual razor blade to my no-no zone, I started looking for other options. Wax is scary. Hair removal chemicals make me worry about possible mutations. I use a regular Norelco shaver on my face/neckbeards, and I've always been happy, so I bought this Norelco electric BG 2030 body shaver razor deal. (further referred to as "The BS") Reviews on the internet for it sounded good. And you can always trust things you read on the internet, so hey, why not?
I was actually pretty afraid to try it. Because A. its an electrical device that's designed to slice. and B. I was intending to apply it to my genitals. For a dude that's pretty scary stuff. I had all sorts of horrible thoughts floating through my head like "OMG WHAT IF I GETS RZAR BURNZ ONMY BALLSACS" Cuz fucking shit, no one wants razor burns on their ballsack.
Because I am secretly a pussy I decided to shave the letter P out of my thigh. That worked, so I did a J on the other one. AWESOME.
With the thigh test out of the way it was time to get to the jewels. The razor is pretty nice because it comes with two different heads and some attachments that gives you a wide variety of options for hair length. You could do a basic trim if you want a little manscaping, or you can go shave completely smooth for the ever-popular prepubescent boy look. (I had to look that up to make sure I spelled prepubescent correctly. "PRE PUBE SCENT? that can't be right? that sounds like some sort of air freshener")
The results? I will spare you gentle readers with the process involved, but the final results rule. The answer to the question is that it feels great, and now I pretty much sit at home with my hand down my pants. FOR HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS.