hellolj
so tired
Things I said this weekend and why:
"why are we stopped on the interstate?! There'd better be a wreck with a bus full of retards up there."
I get pissed when I am on a road where I can legally drive 70 miles per hour and i'm at a dead stop. Also seeing a wrecked bus full of handicapped kids would make for a crazy blog entry.
"jeff gordon needs intensity!"
Amanda bought this jeff gordon energy drink. It was tasty. I decided that since I wasn't going to get drunk (like every other show I've gone to in the last 2 years) I would instead drink this and get all energized. I should say that at this point I actually don't know what kind of energy drink it was. Only that it had jeff gordon on the side and a little blurb that starts out with "jeff gordon needs intensity..." and that if you say it in a crazy voice like a movie trailer its absolutely hillarious.
If, of course, you're all hopped up on energy drink and are kind of crazy to begin with.
"jeff gordon hurts my tummy."
Jeff gordon energy drink + energy beans + aleve + sinutab + long car drive = tummy ache.
"that winnie the pooh looks like its about to take it."
We stopped at the brooks truck stop to pee. And there was this stuffed Winnie the Pooh doll. And it was in this weird bent over pose: it was resting on its elbows with his head cupped in one hand, giving it an almost seductive look. Then his hindquarters were all reared up in the air. Super pornoesque. Face down ass up. It looked really dirty, like he was just waiting for some lonely trucker to buy him and make him a bitch.
There was a whole lot of talk about Muthafuckin Jeff Gordon. Scissoring. Dike road. The bustache. The uni bus. Sweat. Oiled up midgets. More sweat.
And a goddamn tinfoil squirrel from Montage.
Also I wrote this on my phone while in the bathroom. And muthafuckin Jeff gordon makes my urine crazy orange. Good night!
Things I said this weekend and why:
"why are we stopped on the interstate?! There'd better be a wreck with a bus full of retards up there."
I get pissed when I am on a road where I can legally drive 70 miles per hour and i'm at a dead stop. Also seeing a wrecked bus full of handicapped kids would make for a crazy blog entry.
"jeff gordon needs intensity!"
Amanda bought this jeff gordon energy drink. It was tasty. I decided that since I wasn't going to get drunk (like every other show I've gone to in the last 2 years) I would instead drink this and get all energized. I should say that at this point I actually don't know what kind of energy drink it was. Only that it had jeff gordon on the side and a little blurb that starts out with "jeff gordon needs intensity..." and that if you say it in a crazy voice like a movie trailer its absolutely hillarious.
If, of course, you're all hopped up on energy drink and are kind of crazy to begin with.
"jeff gordon hurts my tummy."
Jeff gordon energy drink + energy beans + aleve + sinutab + long car drive = tummy ache.
"that winnie the pooh looks like its about to take it."
We stopped at the brooks truck stop to pee. And there was this stuffed Winnie the Pooh doll. And it was in this weird bent over pose: it was resting on its elbows with his head cupped in one hand, giving it an almost seductive look. Then his hindquarters were all reared up in the air. Super pornoesque. Face down ass up. It looked really dirty, like he was just waiting for some lonely trucker to buy him and make him a bitch.
There was a whole lot of talk about Muthafuckin Jeff Gordon. Scissoring. Dike road. The bustache. The uni bus. Sweat. Oiled up midgets. More sweat.
And a goddamn tinfoil squirrel from Montage.
Also I wrote this on my phone while in the bathroom. And muthafuckin Jeff gordon makes my urine crazy orange. Good night!