Kitties twitch in their sleep
I feel like I used to be much more creative. I've been looking over my past entries, from when I was so much younger, and I can't shake the feeling that I've lost something in my writing. Maybe it was that I used to think everything was important, worth writing down, so I did. And maybe in that way of naivety, I was able to get something poignant out.
I also wonder what the hell was going on with Bryce and I during these times. Also, why are we CONSTANTLY BREAKING UP?
If we do end up getting married, I am so kicking his ass for this. ^_^
So, trying to get back to some meaningful writing:
I've tried to use this notebook for writing random things down, but then I realized, I can't even hold a sliver of hope that this will reach the masses if it stays in a book! So my desire to share every minor detail about what goes on in my head has driven me back into LJ's arms. I like it a lot more than MySpace, the bastard child of a threesome between Twitter, Facebook, and LiveJournal gone horribly, horribly wrong.
I'm going to post my latest entry from my notebook here and then I'm done. 3 entries in one night is good enough for my welcome back.
"Dear John"
I got a new piercing. I don't do this to test you, and I hope you believe me. It's weird, to think that you'll still love me even after I do something like this. But it isn't to test your love. No, I don't actually go into these things asking myself if you'll still love me. I do it because it makes me happy and I know, deep down, that yes, you will love me even with it. Not in spite of it like you keep saying.
I ask you constantly now, after the fact, if you love me still because of my inability to assure myself that you loved me so much to begin with.
I frequently look back and wonder why the hell you stayed with me.
I must be really good in bed.
And by the way, listening to Disturbed makes me think of the early days of our dating. It makes me really happy.
-JMRR
And now my depressed self-loathing musings. As I know most of the people from Facebook will not be reading this. Nor will whatever remains of my friends who still use this.
I don't think that anyone ever really wants to be with me. I think for a lot of the male population, I am some sort of sex icon. Which is strange since I am hardly sexy in the superficial means. I've just had good sex for a lot longer than most of my friends. (Like the last time I had sex was exquisite! ^_^)
But my sexuality isn't the point.
I have gotten ditched, again.
So Bryce dumps me 19 days before our five year anniversary. One, can you believe it, five years? And two, really? 19 days Bryce?
And this latest, adventure on the quest to end my loneliness, has ended badly. I must never, ever, EVER go after a guy that's younger than me ever again. No matter how attractive he is. Or how funny, smart, witty, charming, delightfully evil, or good in bed he is. *fumes*
I am too tired to get to my point. We'll see how this turns out shall we?
I also wonder what the hell was going on with Bryce and I during these times. Also, why are we CONSTANTLY BREAKING UP?
If we do end up getting married, I am so kicking his ass for this. ^_^
So, trying to get back to some meaningful writing:
I've tried to use this notebook for writing random things down, but then I realized, I can't even hold a sliver of hope that this will reach the masses if it stays in a book! So my desire to share every minor detail about what goes on in my head has driven me back into LJ's arms. I like it a lot more than MySpace, the bastard child of a threesome between Twitter, Facebook, and LiveJournal gone horribly, horribly wrong.
I'm going to post my latest entry from my notebook here and then I'm done. 3 entries in one night is good enough for my welcome back.
"Dear John"
I got a new piercing. I don't do this to test you, and I hope you believe me. It's weird, to think that you'll still love me even after I do something like this. But it isn't to test your love. No, I don't actually go into these things asking myself if you'll still love me. I do it because it makes me happy and I know, deep down, that yes, you will love me even with it. Not in spite of it like you keep saying.
I ask you constantly now, after the fact, if you love me still because of my inability to assure myself that you loved me so much to begin with.
I frequently look back and wonder why the hell you stayed with me.
I must be really good in bed.
And by the way, listening to Disturbed makes me think of the early days of our dating. It makes me really happy.
-JMRR
And now my depressed self-loathing musings. As I know most of the people from Facebook will not be reading this. Nor will whatever remains of my friends who still use this.
I don't think that anyone ever really wants to be with me. I think for a lot of the male population, I am some sort of sex icon. Which is strange since I am hardly sexy in the superficial means. I've just had good sex for a lot longer than most of my friends. (Like the last time I had sex was exquisite! ^_^)
But my sexuality isn't the point.
I have gotten ditched, again.
So Bryce dumps me 19 days before our five year anniversary. One, can you believe it, five years? And two, really? 19 days Bryce?
And this latest, adventure on the quest to end my loneliness, has ended badly. I must never, ever, EVER go after a guy that's younger than me ever again. No matter how attractive he is. Or how funny, smart, witty, charming, delightfully evil, or good in bed he is. *fumes*
I am too tired to get to my point. We'll see how this turns out shall we?