Cleansing rambles . . .
Book, book, book, music, music, music, book, book, book, music, book...
That's roughly my train of thought in the last year or so, folks. Have you ever had something (or somethings) that you feel so powerfully about and always have that the whole adventure takes over your life and you refuse to regard the option of failing--you can't fathom the idea of it not happening? In fact, the prospect of failure makes me feel like a WWF wrestler is doing giant acrobatic clumsy ballerina-esque leaps in my stomach.
My novel needs to get published just so I can have some peace of mind. Christian and William and Lily are daily banging on my head demanding some attention. And I need to start the damned band just so I can say "THERE, UNIVERSE, I'M DOING IT, OKAY?? GIVE IT A REST!" The whole band thing has been in my mind for a few years, but just recently I've had this influx of gut-driven desire (bordering need) to begin one with the theme of love and peace. I don't think I could or should fight that anymore. I have the resources needed to do this...I just need to ask...and damnit to hell if that isn't the hardest part.
It's an awful, constant disquiet is what it is, all of it. You know you have to do something, you are supposed to, when, as soon as you get burned out and start to slack off in the effort, people/things/events are promptly set in front of you to jolt you back into action again. Damnit, fate! I'm tired.
SIGH. Honestly, I've only just begun the journey of being tired, so I better quit complaining. Life is a miracle, it's a good thing, it's a mysterious, perfect puzzle. But in the mean time...there's a lot of that anxious, preemptive creative energy bonking off my theoretical walls right now and it's kind of making me nervous. I'm tempted to hide from it, but I won't. I'll suck it up and take it like a man and do what I have to do...one step at a time.
Btw, Marcy, if you read this, Sleeperstar has me very inspired right now.
That's roughly my train of thought in the last year or so, folks. Have you ever had something (or somethings) that you feel so powerfully about and always have that the whole adventure takes over your life and you refuse to regard the option of failing--you can't fathom the idea of it not happening? In fact, the prospect of failure makes me feel like a WWF wrestler is doing giant acrobatic clumsy ballerina-esque leaps in my stomach.
My novel needs to get published just so I can have some peace of mind. Christian and William and Lily are daily banging on my head demanding some attention. And I need to start the damned band just so I can say "THERE, UNIVERSE, I'M DOING IT, OKAY?? GIVE IT A REST!" The whole band thing has been in my mind for a few years, but just recently I've had this influx of gut-driven desire (bordering need) to begin one with the theme of love and peace. I don't think I could or should fight that anymore. I have the resources needed to do this...I just need to ask...and damnit to hell if that isn't the hardest part.
It's an awful, constant disquiet is what it is, all of it. You know you have to do something, you are supposed to, when, as soon as you get burned out and start to slack off in the effort, people/things/events are promptly set in front of you to jolt you back into action again. Damnit, fate! I'm tired.
SIGH. Honestly, I've only just begun the journey of being tired, so I better quit complaining. Life is a miracle, it's a good thing, it's a mysterious, perfect puzzle. But in the mean time...there's a lot of that anxious, preemptive creative energy bonking off my theoretical walls right now and it's kind of making me nervous. I'm tempted to hide from it, but I won't. I'll suck it up and take it like a man and do what I have to do...one step at a time.
Btw, Marcy, if you read this, Sleeperstar has me very inspired right now.