so it's been a while...
where to beginnnn...
school is school is school. i pretty much fucked up my chances of going to grad school unless my academic withdraw pulls through. lets hope and pray it does or else i'm shit out of luck for real. i can't believe this is happening.
anyway... ive been seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist for quite some time now... amy is great. ive been working on some shit with her and she seems to understand me and understand my problems and how to help me deal with them. i've finally gone from having 2 appointments a week to one appointment a month... which is AWESOME! it means i'm getting better which is amazing. i do feel like im getting better. im more assertive, i can concentrate, my anxiety is at manageable levels, and last but not least my moods have been stable. it's only taken years for this improvement... im super happy about it.
ive been drinking a little too much lately which is difficult cause im taking meds one shouldnt drink on. it's all fun and games, though. friday was a fucking blast.
hmmmm.... im getting a macbook in less than a month. for real i am excited! i have a dell right now and it's just not doing anything for me. i feel ungrateful but seriously everything/everyone is going mac. if i want to minor in art im going to need a mac. it seems ive been waiting my whole life for one and boom... in a month ill have it. yay for buying things.
im going to tennessee at the end of this month. im excited to see where my mother lives but im also dreading it a little. there isn't going to be things to do which is good and bad i guess. i will get to review shit before classes and ill get to write if i can which will be fantastic being as though i haven't been able to write for some time now. writing has always been my release but without medication my ADHD got in the way of concentration as did my anxiety. i can't wait to write again though. my mom seems to like it in tennessee. im pretty bummed she doesnt like in florida anymore. she used to live minutes away from the beach with a pool and everything but it wasnt for her (aka too expensive to live there) and so they moved. good times. im going on greyhound too which is good times as well. not really, though. lets hope i dont get fucking stuck somewhere for 8 hours like the last time. im shoving my way to the front i will not wait for the next bus. they overbook shit which is awesome.
i went to the fair on saturday and made myself fucking sick. i ate sweet shit and nothing else in the heat... ew gag. i spent all day in bed yesterday. i feel better today but that shit scares me... i've tlked about it before... you know what im talking about. but the fair was a BLAST. shelly, troy and mer seemed to have a good time as well. i love those kids. actually being at the fair made me miss home so much! i am such a softy... the fair at home was always an exciting time for us. i was in 4-H (of course) and so i had hogs and crafts in the fair. sounds like a fucking nightmare now since i know what kind of shit the fair promotes. but it was fun back then, nonetheless.
season football tickets! yesss. im so excited! maybe ill go home and watch a high school game. i love football for real.
poco is doing so well! he is such a good boy. we go out and play in the sun. i give him some love allll the time. this dog is spoiled, for real. i need to get his shots in the fall. i hope lesley can watch him while im gone. she seemed pretty sure that she can. let hope.
work is work. ive been working at the multicultural center for 2 1/2 years. the only thing that has increased is drama. this person talks about this person. this person is racist. this person doesnt understand gay marriage. this person treats others like shit... so on and so forth. im pretty sick of it. i love the multicultural center, though. it's been a place of growth and understanding... it's been a place of inclusiveness. i dont want to leave but at the same time certain people are making it hard for me to stay. im being very professional about it and diplomatic... but those people are still being immature and unprofessional. we'll have to see how the restructuring goes.
im pretty tire of writing this entry so im going to sign off for the night. more to come later.
school is school is school. i pretty much fucked up my chances of going to grad school unless my academic withdraw pulls through. lets hope and pray it does or else i'm shit out of luck for real. i can't believe this is happening.
anyway... ive been seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist for quite some time now... amy is great. ive been working on some shit with her and she seems to understand me and understand my problems and how to help me deal with them. i've finally gone from having 2 appointments a week to one appointment a month... which is AWESOME! it means i'm getting better which is amazing. i do feel like im getting better. im more assertive, i can concentrate, my anxiety is at manageable levels, and last but not least my moods have been stable. it's only taken years for this improvement... im super happy about it.
ive been drinking a little too much lately which is difficult cause im taking meds one shouldnt drink on. it's all fun and games, though. friday was a fucking blast.
hmmmm.... im getting a macbook in less than a month. for real i am excited! i have a dell right now and it's just not doing anything for me. i feel ungrateful but seriously everything/everyone is going mac. if i want to minor in art im going to need a mac. it seems ive been waiting my whole life for one and boom... in a month ill have it. yay for buying things.
im going to tennessee at the end of this month. im excited to see where my mother lives but im also dreading it a little. there isn't going to be things to do which is good and bad i guess. i will get to review shit before classes and ill get to write if i can which will be fantastic being as though i haven't been able to write for some time now. writing has always been my release but without medication my ADHD got in the way of concentration as did my anxiety. i can't wait to write again though. my mom seems to like it in tennessee. im pretty bummed she doesnt like in florida anymore. she used to live minutes away from the beach with a pool and everything but it wasnt for her (aka too expensive to live there) and so they moved. good times. im going on greyhound too which is good times as well. not really, though. lets hope i dont get fucking stuck somewhere for 8 hours like the last time. im shoving my way to the front i will not wait for the next bus. they overbook shit which is awesome.
i went to the fair on saturday and made myself fucking sick. i ate sweet shit and nothing else in the heat... ew gag. i spent all day in bed yesterday. i feel better today but that shit scares me... i've tlked about it before... you know what im talking about. but the fair was a BLAST. shelly, troy and mer seemed to have a good time as well. i love those kids. actually being at the fair made me miss home so much! i am such a softy... the fair at home was always an exciting time for us. i was in 4-H (of course) and so i had hogs and crafts in the fair. sounds like a fucking nightmare now since i know what kind of shit the fair promotes. but it was fun back then, nonetheless.
season football tickets! yesss. im so excited! maybe ill go home and watch a high school game. i love football for real.
poco is doing so well! he is such a good boy. we go out and play in the sun. i give him some love allll the time. this dog is spoiled, for real. i need to get his shots in the fall. i hope lesley can watch him while im gone. she seemed pretty sure that she can. let hope.
work is work. ive been working at the multicultural center for 2 1/2 years. the only thing that has increased is drama. this person talks about this person. this person is racist. this person doesnt understand gay marriage. this person treats others like shit... so on and so forth. im pretty sick of it. i love the multicultural center, though. it's been a place of growth and understanding... it's been a place of inclusiveness. i dont want to leave but at the same time certain people are making it hard for me to stay. im being very professional about it and diplomatic... but those people are still being immature and unprofessional. we'll have to see how the restructuring goes.
im pretty tire of writing this entry so im going to sign off for the night. more to come later.