HEY
So it's been a while, ITB has since passed as well as LAV and most of my first semester of college. Lately I've been trying to find validation in stupid things and keep failing get it, first I want to apologize to everyone whos has been on the receiving end of my emotional blunderbuss when this happens. I know, though I hate the fact that its true, that it is not always possible for them to be there on the split whenever I need them, Iknow that they aren't freaks that dont sleep, I know that they have their own trials to deal with and that we are al dealing with the same shit on different level. A lot of my time to think lately has been in my car whilst blasting by alone, my breath hitching when I see the tach needle fall, my annoyance flaring every time I get stuck behind some moron forcing me to go 35 all the way to field's, realizing that I have 20 minutes to get gas or risk having to finish the trip on foot, during these times I have found that it is not necessary to have the cheer squad with you, that just knowing that if they could they would be there is enough to let the complete loss of control be halted one more day. For the last couple of weeks I've been afraid to go to sleep because I know hat when I do embrace Morpheus a scant couple of hours will pass and I will ake up to another day of blah. I am terrified of the day my uncle, the Doc a man who I love more than I can really put into words, comes back after sepnding a year in Afghanistan. As much as I butt heads with my dad I am aprehensive of when he goes back to Higuey. I don't know. I have been able to get some good knowledge pumped into my head these last months which lets me know it's not been a complete waste, which is good, small victories add up to make this hectic period seem finite. I don't even let the ink flow anymore.
I'll continue this tomorow.
I'll continue this tomorow.