The Cellar Dweller [1/?]
Title: The Cellar Dweller [1/?]
Pairing: Gerard/Frank
Rating: PG for now (for naughty language), NC-17 for later chapters (for naughty naughtiness *immature giggle*)
POV: First Person (Frank), Third Person (Gerard focused)
Summary: Sometimes its easier to be scared, to hide yourself away from the world. Getting help means asking for it, and who in their right mind would do that?...
Disclaimer: I think we would all like to believe that Gerard is currently sitting beside me, naked, while Frank licks his di...never mind. Unfortunately, though, I own nothing but the sick, perverted ideas in my head and a magic genie that will one day make all our slashy dreams come true! (If they haven't already *shifty eyes and meaningful stare at Gee and Frank who look very guilty*)
Authors Notes: To all of you that have taken the time to read and comment on this so far, I am truly humbled. Thank you so much for your support. It is the greatest reward for my writing.
My friend’s sister was the first person to ever explain to me what a gay relationship was. I was only 10 years old, and frankly, the idea of it fucked with my head completely. It threw everything I’d ever known, everything I’d ever been taught, out of the window. I questioned myself, my religion, my parents beliefs, even my friends, who were just as clueless as me, to try and discover who I really was. Knowing nothing of real life, but seeing how gay relationships intrigued me far more than it did most other kids of my age, I came to the only reasonable explanation. I was gay.
It was from there that school started to become torture, and I put up with more homophobic bullshit in my short stay in high school than most gay people did in their entire lives.
There was only so many times you could be shoved in a tiny dark locker and left there for literally hours while you begged for a teacher to hear you screaming, before you developed a fear of confined spaces. There was only so many times you could receive letters filled with words of so much hate, of sheer death wishes, before you developed a fear of opening mail. There was only so many times you could stand in the centre of crowd of bullies all screaming absurdities, and throwing lethal punches your way, before you developed a fear of crowds.
Needless to say, I was a nervous wreck by the end of high school. My fears did not go away as a willed them to, but rather provoked my low self esteem, as I started college. I remember receiving my letter in the post saying I was to receive a scholarship to Rutgers University. Of course my mother had to open it for me, because envelopes and paper and words…well they just freaked me out. But she was so proud. She called everyone she knew to tell them the news, while I just stood there shaking like a leaf, absolutely fucking petrified.
Really, I was scared of only one thing. Everything.
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‘Guys, we can’t do this. It doesn’t sound right. Listen…’
Ray pulled the headphones off his head and handed them to his band mate, Gerard. A song they’d just written together called Early Sunsets Over Monroeville, filled his ears, and immediately he could see what Ray meant. Ripping the headphones off in sheer frustration he passed them onto his brother, Mikey, to listen. Ok, he was officially pissed off. They’d spent hours on that song. It was meant to be beautiful. But it just sounded so….
‘Hollow,’ Mikey muttered, shaking his head and handing the headphones to Matt, their drummer.
‘What are we doing wrong? Why doesn’t it sound like it’s meant to?’ Gerard whined, picking irritably at a hole in his scruffy jeans. His ONLY jeans. Fuck it, he was so broke. He was beginning to wonder if this whole, ‘lets-form-a-band-and-change-the-world-one-teenager-at-a-time’ idea was such a good one. He hated his job at Cartoon Network, seeing as they were constantly rejecting his artwork, but hey, at least it paid the rent, which was more than what could be said about this album which was going nowhere.
‘We can fix it,’ Ray muttered thoughtfully after a while of listening to the song again. ‘All we need is another guitarist.’