I Ain't Been Nothin But Bad - Gabriel Big Bang - Part 2
Title: I Ain’t Been Nothin But Bad
Artist:heard_the_owl
Genre/Pairing: Richard/Misha
Rating:Nc-17
Word count:15,146
Warnings/Spoilers:Utter crack, Disney fusion with Prep and Landing, Elves.
Summary:Richard's been working as the Director of the Nice list for over a hundred years, he's good at his job, helping Santa and his other elves make Christmas happen on time for all the human boys and girls. But this year is different, this year he has to work with the new Director of the Naughty list, Misha Collins. Which wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't been Richard's drunken one night stand the night before he started. But they're both professionals, how hard can it be to get the job done?
I Ain’t Been Nothin But Bad.
July 12th
“So how are your teams developing?” Misha asks over dinner after work.
“Fairly well,” Richard shrugs, taking a bite of his pasta and swallowing before he continues, “I have a couple of rookies who are having a hard time with the simulations. One got distracted by cookies left out for Santa and ate one, then found out it had peanuts in it and swelled up like the big guy since he was allergic.” Misha laughs so hard his eyes sparkle. “Another guy sparkled himself trying to deal with the family cat, but it’s just typical stuff, nothing too big. How about your guys?”
“Three strained wrists during simulations, and one elf set himself and his partner on fire,” Misha answers, shaking his head.
“They okay?” Richard asks, because even for elves fire is kind of a big deal.
“They stopped, dropped, and rolled right into the simulated living room curtains and set the whole fake house on fire,” Misha snorts, and Richard can’t help but giggle a little bit.
“Well, I guess they’re going back to remedial learning,” Richard says, after finally managing to pull himself together.
“They’re going back to the toy factory,” Misha answers with finality. “Where they belong!”
They share another bout of laughter until finally sobering enough to stop snickering every time they catch each other’s eye.
“The J’s are doing well,” Richard offers with smile that give away his developing feelings on the whole matter. This new combined partnership is going so well there’s a chance it’s going to change how the elves run Christmas altogether. It’s the first major reform in their routine in over four hundred years, and though Richard is well aware that many of his counterparts are nervous, he’s starting to feel like a little kid on Christmas morning.
He just knows this is a good thing.
“Yes, they are,” Misha grins. “Last I heard through the rumor mill they were trying to decide which last name to keep.”
Richard thinks about it for a minute before making a face of disgust. “I think I would make up a new one. Neither of them had any luck in the last name department.”
“Ackles isn’t so terrible,” Misha says after some thought. “At least you can pronounce it.”
“Barely,” Richard snorts. “He has to correct everyone, they make the A too long. But I guess you're right, Jared’s last name isn’t even pronounceable in elvish.”
“You think his mother trimmed the tree with a human?” Misha asks suddenly. “I’m just saying, Jared is tall!!”
Richard tosses a roll at his partner's head and Misha flashes him a smile that makes Richard think of the frost thawing in spring time.
“I love you.”
Yeah, that just sort of slipped out of his mouth before Richard really thought it over.
Misha looks like he’s waiting for the punch line, his face drawn tight and forehead creased with worry. It’s not a face Richard generally associates with his partner, friend, lover being pleased, so the presence of it makes his heart start slamming around in his chest like a base drum. This is bad, so very, very bad. This is the sleigh crash of sixty-eight kind of bad, maybe even worse. Richard thinks for a moment of just dropping the glass he’s holding and fleeing for his life. After all, now that he’s blurted that out he has not a single shred of self respect left in his body.
Misha gazes at him, Richard frozen in his sights like a Caribou standing on the tracks in front of the Polar Express. Everything seems to slow down to a crawl, and Richard is dimly aware of the hustle and bustle of other elves around them as people make their way through the streets and in and out of the restaurant they’re dining at. It’s like having an out of body experience, and he watches Misha take a breath with rapt fascination, waiting for the words that will crush his fantasy of this being something wonderful, of it being something real.
“We’ll use my last name when it’s us,” Misha announces firmly. “You last name is kind of weird, too.”
Richard swears he hears the gears grind together as the world starts moving again.
“Whatever,” Richard teases, ignoring the way his hands are shaking and the jingle bells in his stomach. “Collins isn’t even your real last name.”
Misha blinks.
“How did you know that?” he demands.
But Richard laughs, a bright, rich sound filling up the room around them. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
August 22nd
It’s a birthday gift, and a spectacular one at that. Misha paid for him to have an hour long massage at Spa Nave Dad. Richard never pampers himself; in fact, most elves are bad at it in general. Type A personalities, every single one of them. It’s their dedication to doing this one huge thing for all the children of the world that keeps them going, gives them magic, but it’s also why they never really do much of anything for themselves. An elf take a vacation? Never going to happen. They only retire when they get bored doing what they’re doing. Besides, an elf’s idea of retirement is really just going to work somewhere else more relaxing than their current job.
So yeah, a spa day is a little slice of fruitcake heaven for Richard. He’ll take it and be thankful for it.
“So,” Renaldo says as he presses on a knot in Richard’s back, “you and Misha are becoming quite close.”
Richard blushes. He can’t help it, their community is so small that it’s sometimes like living in one of those television shows the humans call a soap opera. “We’re taking it slow.”
Renaldo makes a humming noise. Richard tries to ignore how it sounds a bit like disapproval, but in the end he just can’t let it go and finally says, “What?”
Renaldo sighs; they’ve known each other for a long time and something in Richard’s heart clenches in reaction to the sound. “You’re certain he is the one for you?”
“What are you saying, Renaldo?” Richard snaps.
“Misha can be…easily distracted,” Renaldo answers, wringing his hands in front of him as Richard turns to glare. “I’m not trying to say this is the case between you,” he rushes to add at Richard’s dark look. “But be careful, my friend. I do not wish to see you hurt any further.”
The rest of his massage is less than relaxing. Richard ends up leaving the spa more wracked with tension than he was when he went in. He heads back to the office, coiled in on himself with a heavy feeling of dread he usually doesn’t experience until the concept of Figgy Pudding comes up.
Richard is rounding the corner, headed to Misha’s office, when he hears it.
“How about a late dinner?”
Richard freezes just outside the door. He knows that voice, has heard it before, but not for a very long time. Sebastian.
“I’m unavailable,” Misha answers. There’s no hesitation.
“Maybe tomorrow then.” It’s not a question.
“I’m fairly certain I’m booked up from now until the end of time,” Misha claims. “Assuming things go how I hope they do.”
“I’m not asking for much attention, you know,” Sebastian murmurs. “I’ll take whatever time you have to spare. It’s always worked out for us before.”
“Before was different,” Misha immediately answers. Richard can hear shuffling in the room and leans further around the edge of the doorway so he can see inside. Misha is leaning against his desk, Sebastian standing next to him. Too close for Richard to really like it, but not close enough to be obvious or threatening. “I’m different now.”
“You love him?” Sebastian asks, his head cocking to the side as he considers Misha for a long moment. Richard watches as Misha’s cheeks color and he swallows, chewing his lip before answering.
“Yes, I do.”
The air around them is charged and heavy for a second, and Richard is barely managing to hold back his girlish squeal of delight. Then Sebastian turns, heading his way, toward the door as he says over his shoulder, “My loss then. No more midnight rendezvous for us. But if things should change…I assume you’ll let me know.”
“Get out,” Misha murmurs, but Richard hears the thread of affection in his voice.
Sebastian rounds the doorway out of Misha’s office, grabbing Richard by the arm and dragging him back around the corner before Misha can see him standing there.
“Get your hands off me!” Richard complains.
Sebastian lets him go, but stays crowded into his space. “Shall I assume the feelings are mutual?”
“That is none of your business,” Richard snaps.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Sebastian nods. “You do understand that if you were to hurt him I would be there to offer a particular kind of comfort, don’t you? Misha is hard to resist.”
“You come near him thinking those thoughts and I will feed you to the Bumble,” Richard all but snarls up in his face.
“The Bumble is reformed,” Sebastian snorts.
“The Bumble owes me,” Richard counters with a wicked grin.
Sebastian swallows as he steps backwards slowly, watching Richard suspiciously before turning on his heel and stalking up the hallway.
He takes a moment to gloat to himself, feeling successful and powerful, until he rounds the corner and finds Misha leaning against the wall just on the other side, out of sight.
“The Bumble, huh?” Misha asks with a grin.
Richard just shrugs as Misha drags him closer and kisses him.
September 10th
“I think you should move into my place,” Misha announces, flopping down on the couch next to Richard after a long day at work.
“Excuse me?” Richard sputters. Of all the topics he thought might come up tonight, this was not one of them.
“I’m serious,” Misha answers as he turns toward him. “I know your place is a little bigger, but my place is closer to work and it has a garage for your snow mobile.”
“You have a garage?” Richard asks. “Why didn’t I know that?”
“I never mentioned it,” Misha shrugs. “I don’t own a snow mobile.”
“But I’ve been parking mine outside in the snow for almost half a year when I could have been parking it in your garage!” Richard blurts.
“Garage access is strictly for people who live here,” Misha says as if that explains everything, and maybe for Misha it does. He’s just weird enough to take that line in his housing contract literally while he still debates the fact that their work dress code calls for tights, shirts, and hats. Misha swears that means Santa doesn’t need him to wear underwear.
Richard is learning quickly that sometimes there is just no way to win an argument with Misha.
“So I could use it if I lived here?” Richard asks.
“Of course,” Misha smiles. “If you live here then it’s all yours.”
“I’ll have to sell my place,” Richard says mostly to himself. “That could take a while.”
“I have a buyer lined up,” Misha says with a grin.
“Who?” Richard isn't sure he really wants to know.
“Sebastian!” Misha announces like it’s the best news ever.
“You have got to be kidding me!” Richard blurts. No way is this possible.
“Of course I am,” Misha answers seriously. “He can’t keep living here once you move in, that would be too weird. People would talk.”
“Wait!” Richard shouts. “What?! Sebastian lives where?”
“Here,” Misha answers like he’s talking to someone particularly slow. “He stays in the guest bedroom. Or rather, I keep his belongings in there. These days he mostly sleeps other places.”
“How long?” Richard asks.
“Has he lived here?” Misha waits for Richard to nod before cocking his head to the side and thinking. “Well, he lost his previous house after a nasty break up earlier this year. It turns out his lover wasn’t as open to the open relationship as she had said she was when he moved in. When he took an interest in someone else, she threw him out and he moved in here.”
“And the other person was?” Richard is sure he already knows the answer.
“Me,” Misha answers. “But it doesn’t matter,” he adds as Richard starts clenching his hands on his legs. “The only person who interests me is you. Besides, he’s moved on now, he just feels like he needs to live alone for a while so we discussed it and decided he prefers your apartment to mine so you can move here and he will buy your place.”
“You discussed me moving in with you with your ex who lives here already…” Richard murmurs. Then something occurs to him. “Wait! How does Sebastian know what my apartment looks like?”
“Because I showed it to him,” Misha looks a little baffled by Richard not following along, like this all makes perfect sense. “How could he be expected to buy your apartment without looking at it first?”
“You took Sebastian to my apartment.”
“I believe that is what I just said.” Misha frowns at him.
“You are insane; you know that, don’t you?” Richard asks. His head is suddenly hurting.
“You love me,” Misha whispers back, settling against Richard’s body in the space that Richard is starting to think was maybe made for just him.
And he’s right; Richard loves him more than Christmas cookies and warm milk.
He didn’t even know Misha had a guestroom.
October 30th
“We need a new mattress,” Misha complains as he shifts on the lumpy one they have in their apartment.
“We could have used mine but you sold it to Sebastian,” Richard reminds him with a grin.
“He wanted the place furnished,” Misha shrugs. “He paid extra.”
“I know,” Richard laughs. “I just sort of feel like we got divorced and he got the house.”
“And what did you get?” Misha chuckles as he asks.
“You,” Richard murmurs before leaning over to kiss his lover. After their lips part long moments later Richard adds, “I’m certain I got the better part of the deal.”
Misha grins up at him before reaching out and tugging on the back of Richard’s hair to bring him down for more kisses. They end up sprawled in their bed together, arms around each other, tongues tangling and untangling, hips pressed together tightly as they rock slowly into each other.
It’s nice to not be rushed, to just have all the time in the world to explore each other, and that’s exactly what Richard sets out to do, starting with the tips of Misha’s elegant ears. He nuzzles and licks at them while Misha moans softly and squirms in his arms, only to work down to the other elf’s neck and worry the skin there between his teeth gently. His actions earn him a gasp and Misha's hands in his hair, tugging and pressing as if he can’t decide if he wants Richard closer or farther away.
They trade lazy kisses as Richard works their shirt buttons loose and slips them both free of the entangling material. Bare chested Misha is a sight, lean lines of muscle stretched tight under skin too soft to feel real as Richard rubs his face against it, inhaling his lover’s scent. He trails kisses off to one side and brushes his tongue back and forth over Misha’s nipple, just long enough to make his lover twist and hiss at the edge of being too sensitive. Then he trails kisses next to Misha's nipples, down his ribs and across his stomach, tights tugged down to reveal a nicely curved erection already leaking before Richard even has a chance to get it onto his tongue, into his mouth. When he does, though, Misha seems to come apart, high pitched whines combining with growling lower tones as Misha grabs at his hair and struggles to hold his hips still.
Richard loves this, could spend hours this way, ignoring the ache in his jaw in favor of Misha’s pleasure. The other elf’s wanton sexuality is infectious, and Richard has come in his leggings a few times just from the noises Misha makes during a blow job. Tonight he’s looking for more, though. Misha is so distracted he doesn’t even notice Richard opening the bottle of lube they keep beside the bed. Though, really, how Misha can miss the smell of the cinnamon pine lube is beyond him. Richard distractedly wonders if maybe next time they can try candy cane or just really be wild and get the unscented kind.
It’s cold in his hand, coating his fingers, colder feeling still as he pushes the first of his fingers inside himself. Richard groans around the flesh in his mouth, making Misha lose a little bit more of his control and buck up off the sheets. He’s running out of time, too much more of this and they’re both going to be decking the halls too early. He pushes his leggings further down his legs and finally manages to kick them completely off, sliding Misha’s dick free of his mouth and straddling the other elf’s body before Misha gathers enough brain cells to really complain.
Then it’s slick, hot heat filling him up inside as he slides down until his hips hit Misha’s more narrow ones. Their eyes meet for an intense moment before Richard slides up and slips back down along Misha’s length. Misha’s eyes roll up in his head and he moans out, “Oh…hark the herald angel…”
Richard wants to laugh, but it feels too damned good. “Oh, tinsel…” he murmurs, finding a rhythm and latching onto it because it feels so good. They don’t last long, too turned on, too into each other. Richard feels it crawling up his spine only seconds before he’s doubling over and shouting his competition into the side of Misha’s neck, the hot spray of his come covering both their stomachs and chests where they are pressed together. Misha whines, grabs his hips so tight Richard is certain there will be marks tomorrow, and fills him up inside. They stay that way, panting together for a long time before Misha turns his head and whispers, “I love you more than Christmas.”
And that’s about as serious as elves get.
November 9th
In reality, there aren’t too many differences between elves and the humans they service. In fact, if you really sit down and examine their cultures there are some remarkable similarities, though technological changes in the way elves work are often driven by the human characteristic of having a need to seek more knowledge.
After all, before computers elves had been making Christmas happen for a good long time. Having a database just made it a lot easier to service the quickly growing human population.
But there is one way in which elves differ significantly from their human counterparts. They don’t really have a religion, per say; instead they have…a tree.
A giant, ancient tree out in the middle of nowhere that no single elf can focus on enough to give directions to if asked, but when they close their eyes and clear their minds they just sort of find their way there.
Richard hesitates to call it a holy place, but perhaps that’s his own personal bias speaking. Still, it’s where the elves go to experience celebrations like births. Or marriages.
Richard is fairly certain at this point in his life that he won’t ever be out here for a birthing ceremony of his own. But still, this is the second time he’s come out here to be wed, and that in itself is rare thing.
Which would explain how many of their friends and co-workers are crowded around the base of the giant old tree waiting for Richard and Misha to get on with it.
He looks up into her branches as far as he can before the darkness of the night around them turns it all into blackness. The tree symbolizes much to them: they first learn about the importance of how systems work together from her roots, and the need for steadfastness by how her trunk stays tall even in the worst of storms. They are educated about the cycle of life by the loss of her needles, for even an evergreen isn’t truly without death and neither are elves, though their life spans are long. They experience growth and change through witnessing how her seedlings grow in the surrounding areas. So it’s to her they return when they have something meaningful to announce.
Well, her and the elfernet. After all, Google is huge even up here.
“Everyone is looking at us,” Misha comments quietly off to Richard’s left.
“Of course they are,” Richard whispers back. “We’re getting married.”
“I had thought it might be just the two of us,” Misha murmurs.
Richard bursts into giggles. The crowd behind them shifts in confusion. “Then you shouldn’t have told Tiny.”
“Good point,” Misha says solemnly. “On with it then?”
“After you,” Richard says with a flourish. He feels Misha purposefully bump into him in reaction to his teasing. It makes Richard smile; Misha is nervous, just like he is, and for once he thinks it’s like they’re on even ground.
He sort of wants to savor the feeling.
Misha steps up to the base of her trunk and starts to climb. Richard takes a deep breath and climbs up after him. Unlike what Richard has watched on Youtube of human weddings, there’s no spoken part in elvish tradition. They’ll scale the tree as far as they feel comfortable and decorate her with an ornament they've made together to hang there for the rest of the great tree’s life.
Misha seems determined to get to the top in record time: he disappears into the upward curving branches and out of Richard’s sight. Richard takes his time on the climb, stopping to examine some of the other ornamentation elves before them have left on their own journeys. Maybe he’s just a sentimental old sap, but he feels a connection with these others of times gone by. He remembers doing this the first time and the terror he felt about possibly falling. It’s funny that all these years later all Richard can think about it going up, up, up to where Misha must now be waiting for him. Something about his new life partner is changing his thinking, his outlook.
When he finds him, Misha is sitting beside an ornament made of brass and gold, the intricate knot work so delicate that a master craftsman must have created it. “It’s lovely,”
he murmurs as he reaches out to touch it gently, sending the ornament spinning in a circle that highlights its pattern and its maker’s expertise.
“It’s my parents,” Misha says with pride. “I was wondering if you would mind if we hung ours here.”
And oh…Richard has to reach out and tug Misha close and hold him tightly. Misha’s parents, both coal elves, were killed fifty years ago in a mine collapse. Richard remembers Misha sobbing into his chest when he told the story. How his father could have escaped, but instead refused to leave Misha’s mother behind and died while trying to free her from the rubble.
“It’s the only way I know how to love,” Misha whispers into Richard’s shoulder. “It’s why I never did it before you. I only know how to give my everything to just one person, Richard. I couldn’t ever risk loving someone who couldn’t do the same in return. There’s just you for me, there will only ever be just you.”
Richard nods, tugging from his pack the ornament they made together, brushed iron and glass interlocked so tightly nothing can come between it. Together they hang it beside Misha’s parent’s ornament. The two brush together making a noise that Richard swears sounds like bells in the cold winter night. Misha smiles, wiping a few tears off his cheeks before following Richard back down the great tree to where their friends are waiting below.
December 24th
“What’s the schedule on the turnouts?” Gabriel asks into his headset. “We have teams ready. Prep and Landing squads have been given their assignments and are currently awaiting transports. Do we have a go, Magee?”
“Hold your horses, Frosty!” Magee shouts back at him from the control room. “We’re still getting our gear on up here, you’re ahead of schedule.”
“He’s not the only one.” Misha’s voice rings into his headset, and Richard looks out the door of his office to where he can see his husband leaning against his own desk, sucking down a cup of hot chocolate. “Coal Elves are also a go and awaiting transport to their destinations. You’re slow, Magee.”
“Shove it, Snowman,” Magee snaps into the headset and Richard watches with a grin as Misha throws his head back and laughs.
“Snowman?” he asks.
“What’s wrong with it?” Misha asks, waving at him from across the hall. “Frosty?”
And OK, so even a room away Misha can still make Richard blush.
Not that he’s going to admit that to anyone.
Long moments pass as they gaze at each other, until Magee’s voice breaks into the interlude, exclaiming, “Yuck! I can feel you two looking at each other lovingly from here. Stop it, we’re working tonight.”
Misha gives Richard two thumbs up and Richard rolls his eyes. Incorrigible.
“Waiting on you, Boss lady,” Misha reminds her.
“Prep and Landing are a go,” Magee responds and Richard immediately switches the dial on his headset to speak to his teams.
“We have a green light, people. This is not a simulation. Remember that tonight these are real homes you’re going into, with real children inside. Be on high alert and watch each other’s backs. Any concerns you need to report to the eye in the sky immediately. We will be watching you all from a distance and you have our full support. Now let’s go spread some Christmas cheer. Ho, ho, GO!”
Team after team rush into the waiting transport pods strapped to stomping and excited reindeer. Sure, Santa’s team are the most famous, but there’s a whole herd of reindeer working behind the scenes, just like elves, determined to make this one night of magic happen flawlessly every year. Richard watches with excitement as his squads take flight and head to the individual homes of little children, prepping each house for Santa’s arrival and making sure everything runs smoothly.
Once the last of the Prep and Landing crews are gone Magee announces, “Coal Elves are a go!”
He watches as Misha leaps to his feet shouting excitedly into his headset. Even from their offices Richard can hear the cheers of the boisterous coal elves as they hurry to get on their transports and get to their destinations. Though their job is not nearly as glamorous or as appreciated, Richard smiles to himself because he knows what pride Misha and his people take in their work. Sure, they look after the so called “bad kids,” but only in the hopes of reforming them.
Richard has learned a lot about reform by being with Misha. He leans back and closes his eyes, relaxing for just a few moments while his partner works his teams through the evacuation and onward, towards their assignments. Once Misha is done they’re going to need to get Jared and Jensen on their way as well.
“Richard,” Magee’s voice rings through the headset one more time. “We’re ready for the J’s to go.”
“Misha and I are on our way to the launch pad,” Richard replies. Misha meets him in the hallway, shoulder to shoulder as they head toward the elevator to take them to where their final team is waiting.
Richard laughs a little at the visual they create. Jensen in his clean lines and well organized suit compared to Jared’s much larger frame flecked with coal dust. Still, they look well rested and confident about what they are about to do, and even Thrasher, their private transport, can’t stop himself from stomping his hooves in excitement.
“Four houses in one night?” Magee says as she comes toward them from the other side of the room. “Our best team in history was only able to pull off two.”
“We’re ready,” Jensen assures her. “We can do this.”
“And it’s six houses,” Jared corrects with grin. “Four coal and two for the big guy.”
“Do we have a back up team in place?” Magee asks Richard. Her disrespect is blatant, but it’s hard for Richard to get upset when Jared is making reindeer horns over her head behind her back as she looks at him.
“Yes,” Richard agrees. “We do, but it’s a non-issue.”
“Who are they?” Magee barks out. “Are they trained, are they competent? How do they communicate?”
“We communicate very well, thank you,” Misha grins as he throws his arm around Richard’s shoulders. “And as far as competent goes I’ve never had any complaints.”
“We’re a little loose on the training thing, though,” Richard adds with a smirk. “You know, being newbies and all.”
He watches as all the color drains out of Magee’s face. She turns to Jared and Jensen with a stern look and says quietly, “You better be able to pull this off.”
Then she’s stalking her way across the landing area with Tiny tripping over himself to keep up behind her.
“I don’t think she likes us much,” Misha comments with a falsely put on sad face.
“She loves us,” Richard teases. “She just doesn’t want us to know that!”
They watch the two J’s load up and Thrasher disappear into the night with a violent clanging of his hooves. After that it’s just a matter of clearing the launch area so the big guy can go. Richard and Misha rush out of the way of the reindeer thundering in to get into position for their flights, but once they’re in the elevator it’s long minutes spent making out while they are only distantly aware of Magee instituting the countdown for the biggest launch of the year. Then the Partridge is in the Pear Tree, and for those who don’t speak elf well, that means Santa is in the sleigh. And with “Dash away all,” from the tower and a “Ho, Ho, Go!” from the man himself they’re off and Christmas is pretty much out of their hands.
Now it’s just the waiting. Not that Richard can’t think of ways to fill up the time.
December 25th
“Well?” Misha asks as he slumps down in Richard’s office hours later. The sun is high in sky as Christmas eve has long since given way to Christmas day. Richard closes his eyes for a moment and imagines the happiness of the children as they open their presents, and when he opens his eyes again he finds Misha staring at him fondly.
“Everyone is back except for Jared and Jensen,” Richard reports. “But they still have another half hour before they are counted as past the deadline. If there was a problem they would have called us in to help them long before now.”
“Magee is loosing her bells right now, isn’t she?” Misha asks with a grin.
“Magee started hitting the eggnog hard about an hour ago,” Richard chuckles. “She’s not happy, but Tiny has her occupied.”
“What’s the deal with those two anyway?” Misha asks.
Richard opens his mouth to answer, but gets distracted by his ear piece flaring to life with static. “Control, this is Thrasher. I’m requesting permission to land.”
“Show time!” Misha announces as he gets to his feet and follows Richard back down to the launch pad. “Do you think they did it?”
“Of course they did,” Richard chuckles. “I told Thrasher not to bring them back until they were done, so either they finished or they died trying.”
“You are a devious little thing,” Misha accuses, pinching Richard’s behind.
“Look who’s talking,” Richard murmurs.
“Your radios are on,” Magee interrupts them. “I’m stopping you now before we have to listen to the sound of you guys having sex…again!”
Richard’s eyes bug out and Misha laughs shamelessly. It’s a little too shameless really, and Richard shoots him a glare that makes his husband blush and look away. “You left it broadcasting on purpose, didn’t you?”
“You’ll never be bored,” Misha replies warmly, skipping away from Richard’s grasp as he thinks for just a second about throttling his partner in front of Santa and everyone.
But then Thrasher is skidding to a halt at the end of the landing bay ramp and stomping his hooves in what Richard clearly understands as pride. The first coal and prep and landing elf team walks down the ramp at the back of their pod, carrying something that looks suspiciously like…”Pizza?”
“We got done early,” Jared mumbles around a mouthful of food.
“He was hungry,” Jensen adds helpfully, like a stain of pizza sauce isn’t on the front of his uniform, too.
“Next year,” Thrasher adds as his dressing team struggles to unbuckle his harness. “We need to try for ten houses. Six was easy.”
Richard and Misha exchange a look. They both know that with the success of this team, next year will bring a lot of changes to how they all do their jobs.
But Richard is starting to believe that change isn’t such a bad thing.
*****
“Ten teams next year?” Misha asks as he and Richard drive home.
“Maybe more,” Richard agrees. “If we can convince Jensen and Jared to do some of the training with us.”
“They’re a little distracted by each other right now,” Misha laughs, and Richard thinks of the sweetly triumphant kiss they all witnessed the two share at the end of their debriefing.
“I would never have guessed that,” Richard teases as he reaches over to tangle their fingers together while he pulls off the street and into their garage. “I’m pretty distracted by you,” he admits with a smile.
He watches Misha’s tired face light up with a smile, and everything they’ve gone through to get to this moment seems suddenly worth it. “I get to keep you,” he murmurs.
“I was just thinking the same thing about you,” Misha laughs. “Do you want to go party with the rest of the crew?”
“No thank you,” Richard chuckles as he gets out of the snow mobile and follows Misha into their apartment. “Last year I made the mistake of doing that. I ended up getting totally drunk and having this crazy one night stand with an elf that turned out to be my co-worker. It was horribly embarrassing.”
“You know,” Misha grins as he kicks off his shoes and heads for their bedroom. “I think I might have met my husband that way.”
“We must be made for each other, then,” Richard nods seriously before tugging Misha down into their bed. With the shades drawn and the curtains down it looks like night time inside their room, even though it’s closer to lunch. They’ve been up for almost two straight days and Richard’s body is already shutting down, getting ready to rest. There’s almost no energy left in him.
“I knew who you were,” Misha admits so quietly Richard almost misses it.
“What?” Richard asks, but he doesn’t move. Is almost afraid to move.
“When I was growing up I had a poster of you on my wall,” Misha spills out, his whole face bright red. “You were my first fantasy when I got old enough to understand that I didn’t like girls.”
“Oh holly berries,” Richard groans as he rolls over and hides his face in the sheets. “You have to be joking, I’m not that old.”
“Yes, you are,” Misha chuckles. “And I’m that pathetic. I hit on you because you were the guy for me. Always have been, and then you came home with me and the next morning, oh Richard. I was so horrified. I knew we were going to be working together and I didn’t know what to do. So I ran and when you got there you looked so disgusted…I just couldn’t tell you I knew you. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry I acted like a reindeer’s rear-end,” Richard offers as he hugs Misha tighter.
“You still are, you know,” Misha mumbles out sleepily a few moments later.
“What?” Richard snorts. “A reindeer’s rear-end?”
“No!” Misha slaps at him weakly before curling over on his side and tucking himself against Richard’s body in the position he likes to sleep in. “You’re still the guy for me.”
Richard soaks up the love he feels greedily, before whispering back, “You’re it for me too.”
“More than Christmas,” Misha breathes out against his shoulder.
“More than Christmas,” Richard agrees as sleep overtakes them both.
Artist:heard_the_owl
Genre/Pairing: Richard/Misha
Rating:Nc-17
Word count:15,146
Warnings/Spoilers:Utter crack, Disney fusion with Prep and Landing, Elves.
Summary:Richard's been working as the Director of the Nice list for over a hundred years, he's good at his job, helping Santa and his other elves make Christmas happen on time for all the human boys and girls. But this year is different, this year he has to work with the new Director of the Naughty list, Misha Collins. Which wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't been Richard's drunken one night stand the night before he started. But they're both professionals, how hard can it be to get the job done?
I Ain’t Been Nothin But Bad.
July 12th
“So how are your teams developing?” Misha asks over dinner after work.
“Fairly well,” Richard shrugs, taking a bite of his pasta and swallowing before he continues, “I have a couple of rookies who are having a hard time with the simulations. One got distracted by cookies left out for Santa and ate one, then found out it had peanuts in it and swelled up like the big guy since he was allergic.” Misha laughs so hard his eyes sparkle. “Another guy sparkled himself trying to deal with the family cat, but it’s just typical stuff, nothing too big. How about your guys?”
“Three strained wrists during simulations, and one elf set himself and his partner on fire,” Misha answers, shaking his head.
“They okay?” Richard asks, because even for elves fire is kind of a big deal.
“They stopped, dropped, and rolled right into the simulated living room curtains and set the whole fake house on fire,” Misha snorts, and Richard can’t help but giggle a little bit.
“Well, I guess they’re going back to remedial learning,” Richard says, after finally managing to pull himself together.
“They’re going back to the toy factory,” Misha answers with finality. “Where they belong!”
They share another bout of laughter until finally sobering enough to stop snickering every time they catch each other’s eye.
“The J’s are doing well,” Richard offers with smile that give away his developing feelings on the whole matter. This new combined partnership is going so well there’s a chance it’s going to change how the elves run Christmas altogether. It’s the first major reform in their routine in over four hundred years, and though Richard is well aware that many of his counterparts are nervous, he’s starting to feel like a little kid on Christmas morning.
He just knows this is a good thing.
“Yes, they are,” Misha grins. “Last I heard through the rumor mill they were trying to decide which last name to keep.”
Richard thinks about it for a minute before making a face of disgust. “I think I would make up a new one. Neither of them had any luck in the last name department.”
“Ackles isn’t so terrible,” Misha says after some thought. “At least you can pronounce it.”
“Barely,” Richard snorts. “He has to correct everyone, they make the A too long. But I guess you're right, Jared’s last name isn’t even pronounceable in elvish.”
“You think his mother trimmed the tree with a human?” Misha asks suddenly. “I’m just saying, Jared is tall!!”
Richard tosses a roll at his partner's head and Misha flashes him a smile that makes Richard think of the frost thawing in spring time.
“I love you.”
Yeah, that just sort of slipped out of his mouth before Richard really thought it over.
Misha looks like he’s waiting for the punch line, his face drawn tight and forehead creased with worry. It’s not a face Richard generally associates with his partner, friend, lover being pleased, so the presence of it makes his heart start slamming around in his chest like a base drum. This is bad, so very, very bad. This is the sleigh crash of sixty-eight kind of bad, maybe even worse. Richard thinks for a moment of just dropping the glass he’s holding and fleeing for his life. After all, now that he’s blurted that out he has not a single shred of self respect left in his body.
Misha gazes at him, Richard frozen in his sights like a Caribou standing on the tracks in front of the Polar Express. Everything seems to slow down to a crawl, and Richard is dimly aware of the hustle and bustle of other elves around them as people make their way through the streets and in and out of the restaurant they’re dining at. It’s like having an out of body experience, and he watches Misha take a breath with rapt fascination, waiting for the words that will crush his fantasy of this being something wonderful, of it being something real.
“We’ll use my last name when it’s us,” Misha announces firmly. “You last name is kind of weird, too.”
Richard swears he hears the gears grind together as the world starts moving again.
“Whatever,” Richard teases, ignoring the way his hands are shaking and the jingle bells in his stomach. “Collins isn’t even your real last name.”
Misha blinks.
“How did you know that?” he demands.
But Richard laughs, a bright, rich sound filling up the room around them. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
August 22nd
It’s a birthday gift, and a spectacular one at that. Misha paid for him to have an hour long massage at Spa Nave Dad. Richard never pampers himself; in fact, most elves are bad at it in general. Type A personalities, every single one of them. It’s their dedication to doing this one huge thing for all the children of the world that keeps them going, gives them magic, but it’s also why they never really do much of anything for themselves. An elf take a vacation? Never going to happen. They only retire when they get bored doing what they’re doing. Besides, an elf’s idea of retirement is really just going to work somewhere else more relaxing than their current job.
So yeah, a spa day is a little slice of fruitcake heaven for Richard. He’ll take it and be thankful for it.
“So,” Renaldo says as he presses on a knot in Richard’s back, “you and Misha are becoming quite close.”
Richard blushes. He can’t help it, their community is so small that it’s sometimes like living in one of those television shows the humans call a soap opera. “We’re taking it slow.”
Renaldo makes a humming noise. Richard tries to ignore how it sounds a bit like disapproval, but in the end he just can’t let it go and finally says, “What?”
Renaldo sighs; they’ve known each other for a long time and something in Richard’s heart clenches in reaction to the sound. “You’re certain he is the one for you?”
“What are you saying, Renaldo?” Richard snaps.
“Misha can be…easily distracted,” Renaldo answers, wringing his hands in front of him as Richard turns to glare. “I’m not trying to say this is the case between you,” he rushes to add at Richard’s dark look. “But be careful, my friend. I do not wish to see you hurt any further.”
The rest of his massage is less than relaxing. Richard ends up leaving the spa more wracked with tension than he was when he went in. He heads back to the office, coiled in on himself with a heavy feeling of dread he usually doesn’t experience until the concept of Figgy Pudding comes up.
Richard is rounding the corner, headed to Misha’s office, when he hears it.
“How about a late dinner?”
Richard freezes just outside the door. He knows that voice, has heard it before, but not for a very long time. Sebastian.
“I’m unavailable,” Misha answers. There’s no hesitation.
“Maybe tomorrow then.” It’s not a question.
“I’m fairly certain I’m booked up from now until the end of time,” Misha claims. “Assuming things go how I hope they do.”
“I’m not asking for much attention, you know,” Sebastian murmurs. “I’ll take whatever time you have to spare. It’s always worked out for us before.”
“Before was different,” Misha immediately answers. Richard can hear shuffling in the room and leans further around the edge of the doorway so he can see inside. Misha is leaning against his desk, Sebastian standing next to him. Too close for Richard to really like it, but not close enough to be obvious or threatening. “I’m different now.”
“You love him?” Sebastian asks, his head cocking to the side as he considers Misha for a long moment. Richard watches as Misha’s cheeks color and he swallows, chewing his lip before answering.
“Yes, I do.”
The air around them is charged and heavy for a second, and Richard is barely managing to hold back his girlish squeal of delight. Then Sebastian turns, heading his way, toward the door as he says over his shoulder, “My loss then. No more midnight rendezvous for us. But if things should change…I assume you’ll let me know.”
“Get out,” Misha murmurs, but Richard hears the thread of affection in his voice.
Sebastian rounds the doorway out of Misha’s office, grabbing Richard by the arm and dragging him back around the corner before Misha can see him standing there.
“Get your hands off me!” Richard complains.
Sebastian lets him go, but stays crowded into his space. “Shall I assume the feelings are mutual?”
“That is none of your business,” Richard snaps.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Sebastian nods. “You do understand that if you were to hurt him I would be there to offer a particular kind of comfort, don’t you? Misha is hard to resist.”
“You come near him thinking those thoughts and I will feed you to the Bumble,” Richard all but snarls up in his face.
“The Bumble is reformed,” Sebastian snorts.
“The Bumble owes me,” Richard counters with a wicked grin.
Sebastian swallows as he steps backwards slowly, watching Richard suspiciously before turning on his heel and stalking up the hallway.
He takes a moment to gloat to himself, feeling successful and powerful, until he rounds the corner and finds Misha leaning against the wall just on the other side, out of sight.
“The Bumble, huh?” Misha asks with a grin.
Richard just shrugs as Misha drags him closer and kisses him.
September 10th
“I think you should move into my place,” Misha announces, flopping down on the couch next to Richard after a long day at work.
“Excuse me?” Richard sputters. Of all the topics he thought might come up tonight, this was not one of them.
“I’m serious,” Misha answers as he turns toward him. “I know your place is a little bigger, but my place is closer to work and it has a garage for your snow mobile.”
“You have a garage?” Richard asks. “Why didn’t I know that?”
“I never mentioned it,” Misha shrugs. “I don’t own a snow mobile.”
“But I’ve been parking mine outside in the snow for almost half a year when I could have been parking it in your garage!” Richard blurts.
“Garage access is strictly for people who live here,” Misha says as if that explains everything, and maybe for Misha it does. He’s just weird enough to take that line in his housing contract literally while he still debates the fact that their work dress code calls for tights, shirts, and hats. Misha swears that means Santa doesn’t need him to wear underwear.
Richard is learning quickly that sometimes there is just no way to win an argument with Misha.
“So I could use it if I lived here?” Richard asks.
“Of course,” Misha smiles. “If you live here then it’s all yours.”
“I’ll have to sell my place,” Richard says mostly to himself. “That could take a while.”
“I have a buyer lined up,” Misha says with a grin.
“Who?” Richard isn't sure he really wants to know.
“Sebastian!” Misha announces like it’s the best news ever.
“You have got to be kidding me!” Richard blurts. No way is this possible.
“Of course I am,” Misha answers seriously. “He can’t keep living here once you move in, that would be too weird. People would talk.”
“Wait!” Richard shouts. “What?! Sebastian lives where?”
“Here,” Misha answers like he’s talking to someone particularly slow. “He stays in the guest bedroom. Or rather, I keep his belongings in there. These days he mostly sleeps other places.”
“How long?” Richard asks.
“Has he lived here?” Misha waits for Richard to nod before cocking his head to the side and thinking. “Well, he lost his previous house after a nasty break up earlier this year. It turns out his lover wasn’t as open to the open relationship as she had said she was when he moved in. When he took an interest in someone else, she threw him out and he moved in here.”
“And the other person was?” Richard is sure he already knows the answer.
“Me,” Misha answers. “But it doesn’t matter,” he adds as Richard starts clenching his hands on his legs. “The only person who interests me is you. Besides, he’s moved on now, he just feels like he needs to live alone for a while so we discussed it and decided he prefers your apartment to mine so you can move here and he will buy your place.”
“You discussed me moving in with you with your ex who lives here already…” Richard murmurs. Then something occurs to him. “Wait! How does Sebastian know what my apartment looks like?”
“Because I showed it to him,” Misha looks a little baffled by Richard not following along, like this all makes perfect sense. “How could he be expected to buy your apartment without looking at it first?”
“You took Sebastian to my apartment.”
“I believe that is what I just said.” Misha frowns at him.
“You are insane; you know that, don’t you?” Richard asks. His head is suddenly hurting.
“You love me,” Misha whispers back, settling against Richard’s body in the space that Richard is starting to think was maybe made for just him.
And he’s right; Richard loves him more than Christmas cookies and warm milk.
He didn’t even know Misha had a guestroom.
October 30th
“We need a new mattress,” Misha complains as he shifts on the lumpy one they have in their apartment.
“We could have used mine but you sold it to Sebastian,” Richard reminds him with a grin.
“He wanted the place furnished,” Misha shrugs. “He paid extra.”
“I know,” Richard laughs. “I just sort of feel like we got divorced and he got the house.”
“And what did you get?” Misha chuckles as he asks.
“You,” Richard murmurs before leaning over to kiss his lover. After their lips part long moments later Richard adds, “I’m certain I got the better part of the deal.”
Misha grins up at him before reaching out and tugging on the back of Richard’s hair to bring him down for more kisses. They end up sprawled in their bed together, arms around each other, tongues tangling and untangling, hips pressed together tightly as they rock slowly into each other.
It’s nice to not be rushed, to just have all the time in the world to explore each other, and that’s exactly what Richard sets out to do, starting with the tips of Misha’s elegant ears. He nuzzles and licks at them while Misha moans softly and squirms in his arms, only to work down to the other elf’s neck and worry the skin there between his teeth gently. His actions earn him a gasp and Misha's hands in his hair, tugging and pressing as if he can’t decide if he wants Richard closer or farther away.
They trade lazy kisses as Richard works their shirt buttons loose and slips them both free of the entangling material. Bare chested Misha is a sight, lean lines of muscle stretched tight under skin too soft to feel real as Richard rubs his face against it, inhaling his lover’s scent. He trails kisses off to one side and brushes his tongue back and forth over Misha’s nipple, just long enough to make his lover twist and hiss at the edge of being too sensitive. Then he trails kisses next to Misha's nipples, down his ribs and across his stomach, tights tugged down to reveal a nicely curved erection already leaking before Richard even has a chance to get it onto his tongue, into his mouth. When he does, though, Misha seems to come apart, high pitched whines combining with growling lower tones as Misha grabs at his hair and struggles to hold his hips still.
Richard loves this, could spend hours this way, ignoring the ache in his jaw in favor of Misha’s pleasure. The other elf’s wanton sexuality is infectious, and Richard has come in his leggings a few times just from the noises Misha makes during a blow job. Tonight he’s looking for more, though. Misha is so distracted he doesn’t even notice Richard opening the bottle of lube they keep beside the bed. Though, really, how Misha can miss the smell of the cinnamon pine lube is beyond him. Richard distractedly wonders if maybe next time they can try candy cane or just really be wild and get the unscented kind.
It’s cold in his hand, coating his fingers, colder feeling still as he pushes the first of his fingers inside himself. Richard groans around the flesh in his mouth, making Misha lose a little bit more of his control and buck up off the sheets. He’s running out of time, too much more of this and they’re both going to be decking the halls too early. He pushes his leggings further down his legs and finally manages to kick them completely off, sliding Misha’s dick free of his mouth and straddling the other elf’s body before Misha gathers enough brain cells to really complain.
Then it’s slick, hot heat filling him up inside as he slides down until his hips hit Misha’s more narrow ones. Their eyes meet for an intense moment before Richard slides up and slips back down along Misha’s length. Misha’s eyes roll up in his head and he moans out, “Oh…hark the herald angel…”
Richard wants to laugh, but it feels too damned good. “Oh, tinsel…” he murmurs, finding a rhythm and latching onto it because it feels so good. They don’t last long, too turned on, too into each other. Richard feels it crawling up his spine only seconds before he’s doubling over and shouting his competition into the side of Misha’s neck, the hot spray of his come covering both their stomachs and chests where they are pressed together. Misha whines, grabs his hips so tight Richard is certain there will be marks tomorrow, and fills him up inside. They stay that way, panting together for a long time before Misha turns his head and whispers, “I love you more than Christmas.”
And that’s about as serious as elves get.
November 9th
In reality, there aren’t too many differences between elves and the humans they service. In fact, if you really sit down and examine their cultures there are some remarkable similarities, though technological changes in the way elves work are often driven by the human characteristic of having a need to seek more knowledge.
After all, before computers elves had been making Christmas happen for a good long time. Having a database just made it a lot easier to service the quickly growing human population.
But there is one way in which elves differ significantly from their human counterparts. They don’t really have a religion, per say; instead they have…a tree.
A giant, ancient tree out in the middle of nowhere that no single elf can focus on enough to give directions to if asked, but when they close their eyes and clear their minds they just sort of find their way there.
Richard hesitates to call it a holy place, but perhaps that’s his own personal bias speaking. Still, it’s where the elves go to experience celebrations like births. Or marriages.
Richard is fairly certain at this point in his life that he won’t ever be out here for a birthing ceremony of his own. But still, this is the second time he’s come out here to be wed, and that in itself is rare thing.
Which would explain how many of their friends and co-workers are crowded around the base of the giant old tree waiting for Richard and Misha to get on with it.
He looks up into her branches as far as he can before the darkness of the night around them turns it all into blackness. The tree symbolizes much to them: they first learn about the importance of how systems work together from her roots, and the need for steadfastness by how her trunk stays tall even in the worst of storms. They are educated about the cycle of life by the loss of her needles, for even an evergreen isn’t truly without death and neither are elves, though their life spans are long. They experience growth and change through witnessing how her seedlings grow in the surrounding areas. So it’s to her they return when they have something meaningful to announce.
Well, her and the elfernet. After all, Google is huge even up here.
“Everyone is looking at us,” Misha comments quietly off to Richard’s left.
“Of course they are,” Richard whispers back. “We’re getting married.”
“I had thought it might be just the two of us,” Misha murmurs.
Richard bursts into giggles. The crowd behind them shifts in confusion. “Then you shouldn’t have told Tiny.”
“Good point,” Misha says solemnly. “On with it then?”
“After you,” Richard says with a flourish. He feels Misha purposefully bump into him in reaction to his teasing. It makes Richard smile; Misha is nervous, just like he is, and for once he thinks it’s like they’re on even ground.
He sort of wants to savor the feeling.
Misha steps up to the base of her trunk and starts to climb. Richard takes a deep breath and climbs up after him. Unlike what Richard has watched on Youtube of human weddings, there’s no spoken part in elvish tradition. They’ll scale the tree as far as they feel comfortable and decorate her with an ornament they've made together to hang there for the rest of the great tree’s life.
Misha seems determined to get to the top in record time: he disappears into the upward curving branches and out of Richard’s sight. Richard takes his time on the climb, stopping to examine some of the other ornamentation elves before them have left on their own journeys. Maybe he’s just a sentimental old sap, but he feels a connection with these others of times gone by. He remembers doing this the first time and the terror he felt about possibly falling. It’s funny that all these years later all Richard can think about it going up, up, up to where Misha must now be waiting for him. Something about his new life partner is changing his thinking, his outlook.
When he finds him, Misha is sitting beside an ornament made of brass and gold, the intricate knot work so delicate that a master craftsman must have created it. “It’s lovely,”
he murmurs as he reaches out to touch it gently, sending the ornament spinning in a circle that highlights its pattern and its maker’s expertise.
“It’s my parents,” Misha says with pride. “I was wondering if you would mind if we hung ours here.”
And oh…Richard has to reach out and tug Misha close and hold him tightly. Misha’s parents, both coal elves, were killed fifty years ago in a mine collapse. Richard remembers Misha sobbing into his chest when he told the story. How his father could have escaped, but instead refused to leave Misha’s mother behind and died while trying to free her from the rubble.
“It’s the only way I know how to love,” Misha whispers into Richard’s shoulder. “It’s why I never did it before you. I only know how to give my everything to just one person, Richard. I couldn’t ever risk loving someone who couldn’t do the same in return. There’s just you for me, there will only ever be just you.”
Richard nods, tugging from his pack the ornament they made together, brushed iron and glass interlocked so tightly nothing can come between it. Together they hang it beside Misha’s parent’s ornament. The two brush together making a noise that Richard swears sounds like bells in the cold winter night. Misha smiles, wiping a few tears off his cheeks before following Richard back down the great tree to where their friends are waiting below.
December 24th
“What’s the schedule on the turnouts?” Gabriel asks into his headset. “We have teams ready. Prep and Landing squads have been given their assignments and are currently awaiting transports. Do we have a go, Magee?”
“Hold your horses, Frosty!” Magee shouts back at him from the control room. “We’re still getting our gear on up here, you’re ahead of schedule.”
“He’s not the only one.” Misha’s voice rings into his headset, and Richard looks out the door of his office to where he can see his husband leaning against his own desk, sucking down a cup of hot chocolate. “Coal Elves are also a go and awaiting transport to their destinations. You’re slow, Magee.”
“Shove it, Snowman,” Magee snaps into the headset and Richard watches with a grin as Misha throws his head back and laughs.
“Snowman?” he asks.
“What’s wrong with it?” Misha asks, waving at him from across the hall. “Frosty?”
And OK, so even a room away Misha can still make Richard blush.
Not that he’s going to admit that to anyone.
Long moments pass as they gaze at each other, until Magee’s voice breaks into the interlude, exclaiming, “Yuck! I can feel you two looking at each other lovingly from here. Stop it, we’re working tonight.”
Misha gives Richard two thumbs up and Richard rolls his eyes. Incorrigible.
“Waiting on you, Boss lady,” Misha reminds her.
“Prep and Landing are a go,” Magee responds and Richard immediately switches the dial on his headset to speak to his teams.
“We have a green light, people. This is not a simulation. Remember that tonight these are real homes you’re going into, with real children inside. Be on high alert and watch each other’s backs. Any concerns you need to report to the eye in the sky immediately. We will be watching you all from a distance and you have our full support. Now let’s go spread some Christmas cheer. Ho, ho, GO!”
Team after team rush into the waiting transport pods strapped to stomping and excited reindeer. Sure, Santa’s team are the most famous, but there’s a whole herd of reindeer working behind the scenes, just like elves, determined to make this one night of magic happen flawlessly every year. Richard watches with excitement as his squads take flight and head to the individual homes of little children, prepping each house for Santa’s arrival and making sure everything runs smoothly.
Once the last of the Prep and Landing crews are gone Magee announces, “Coal Elves are a go!”
He watches as Misha leaps to his feet shouting excitedly into his headset. Even from their offices Richard can hear the cheers of the boisterous coal elves as they hurry to get on their transports and get to their destinations. Though their job is not nearly as glamorous or as appreciated, Richard smiles to himself because he knows what pride Misha and his people take in their work. Sure, they look after the so called “bad kids,” but only in the hopes of reforming them.
Richard has learned a lot about reform by being with Misha. He leans back and closes his eyes, relaxing for just a few moments while his partner works his teams through the evacuation and onward, towards their assignments. Once Misha is done they’re going to need to get Jared and Jensen on their way as well.
“Richard,” Magee’s voice rings through the headset one more time. “We’re ready for the J’s to go.”
“Misha and I are on our way to the launch pad,” Richard replies. Misha meets him in the hallway, shoulder to shoulder as they head toward the elevator to take them to where their final team is waiting.
Richard laughs a little at the visual they create. Jensen in his clean lines and well organized suit compared to Jared’s much larger frame flecked with coal dust. Still, they look well rested and confident about what they are about to do, and even Thrasher, their private transport, can’t stop himself from stomping his hooves in excitement.
“Four houses in one night?” Magee says as she comes toward them from the other side of the room. “Our best team in history was only able to pull off two.”
“We’re ready,” Jensen assures her. “We can do this.”
“And it’s six houses,” Jared corrects with grin. “Four coal and two for the big guy.”
“Do we have a back up team in place?” Magee asks Richard. Her disrespect is blatant, but it’s hard for Richard to get upset when Jared is making reindeer horns over her head behind her back as she looks at him.
“Yes,” Richard agrees. “We do, but it’s a non-issue.”
“Who are they?” Magee barks out. “Are they trained, are they competent? How do they communicate?”
“We communicate very well, thank you,” Misha grins as he throws his arm around Richard’s shoulders. “And as far as competent goes I’ve never had any complaints.”
“We’re a little loose on the training thing, though,” Richard adds with a smirk. “You know, being newbies and all.”
He watches as all the color drains out of Magee’s face. She turns to Jared and Jensen with a stern look and says quietly, “You better be able to pull this off.”
Then she’s stalking her way across the landing area with Tiny tripping over himself to keep up behind her.
“I don’t think she likes us much,” Misha comments with a falsely put on sad face.
“She loves us,” Richard teases. “She just doesn’t want us to know that!”
They watch the two J’s load up and Thrasher disappear into the night with a violent clanging of his hooves. After that it’s just a matter of clearing the launch area so the big guy can go. Richard and Misha rush out of the way of the reindeer thundering in to get into position for their flights, but once they’re in the elevator it’s long minutes spent making out while they are only distantly aware of Magee instituting the countdown for the biggest launch of the year. Then the Partridge is in the Pear Tree, and for those who don’t speak elf well, that means Santa is in the sleigh. And with “Dash away all,” from the tower and a “Ho, Ho, Go!” from the man himself they’re off and Christmas is pretty much out of their hands.
Now it’s just the waiting. Not that Richard can’t think of ways to fill up the time.
December 25th
“Well?” Misha asks as he slumps down in Richard’s office hours later. The sun is high in sky as Christmas eve has long since given way to Christmas day. Richard closes his eyes for a moment and imagines the happiness of the children as they open their presents, and when he opens his eyes again he finds Misha staring at him fondly.
“Everyone is back except for Jared and Jensen,” Richard reports. “But they still have another half hour before they are counted as past the deadline. If there was a problem they would have called us in to help them long before now.”
“Magee is loosing her bells right now, isn’t she?” Misha asks with a grin.
“Magee started hitting the eggnog hard about an hour ago,” Richard chuckles. “She’s not happy, but Tiny has her occupied.”
“What’s the deal with those two anyway?” Misha asks.
Richard opens his mouth to answer, but gets distracted by his ear piece flaring to life with static. “Control, this is Thrasher. I’m requesting permission to land.”
“Show time!” Misha announces as he gets to his feet and follows Richard back down to the launch pad. “Do you think they did it?”
“Of course they did,” Richard chuckles. “I told Thrasher not to bring them back until they were done, so either they finished or they died trying.”
“You are a devious little thing,” Misha accuses, pinching Richard’s behind.
“Look who’s talking,” Richard murmurs.
“Your radios are on,” Magee interrupts them. “I’m stopping you now before we have to listen to the sound of you guys having sex…again!”
Richard’s eyes bug out and Misha laughs shamelessly. It’s a little too shameless really, and Richard shoots him a glare that makes his husband blush and look away. “You left it broadcasting on purpose, didn’t you?”
“You’ll never be bored,” Misha replies warmly, skipping away from Richard’s grasp as he thinks for just a second about throttling his partner in front of Santa and everyone.
But then Thrasher is skidding to a halt at the end of the landing bay ramp and stomping his hooves in what Richard clearly understands as pride. The first coal and prep and landing elf team walks down the ramp at the back of their pod, carrying something that looks suspiciously like…”Pizza?”
“We got done early,” Jared mumbles around a mouthful of food.
“He was hungry,” Jensen adds helpfully, like a stain of pizza sauce isn’t on the front of his uniform, too.
“Next year,” Thrasher adds as his dressing team struggles to unbuckle his harness. “We need to try for ten houses. Six was easy.”
Richard and Misha exchange a look. They both know that with the success of this team, next year will bring a lot of changes to how they all do their jobs.
But Richard is starting to believe that change isn’t such a bad thing.
*****
“Ten teams next year?” Misha asks as he and Richard drive home.
“Maybe more,” Richard agrees. “If we can convince Jensen and Jared to do some of the training with us.”
“They’re a little distracted by each other right now,” Misha laughs, and Richard thinks of the sweetly triumphant kiss they all witnessed the two share at the end of their debriefing.
“I would never have guessed that,” Richard teases as he reaches over to tangle their fingers together while he pulls off the street and into their garage. “I’m pretty distracted by you,” he admits with a smile.
He watches Misha’s tired face light up with a smile, and everything they’ve gone through to get to this moment seems suddenly worth it. “I get to keep you,” he murmurs.
“I was just thinking the same thing about you,” Misha laughs. “Do you want to go party with the rest of the crew?”
“No thank you,” Richard chuckles as he gets out of the snow mobile and follows Misha into their apartment. “Last year I made the mistake of doing that. I ended up getting totally drunk and having this crazy one night stand with an elf that turned out to be my co-worker. It was horribly embarrassing.”
“You know,” Misha grins as he kicks off his shoes and heads for their bedroom. “I think I might have met my husband that way.”
“We must be made for each other, then,” Richard nods seriously before tugging Misha down into their bed. With the shades drawn and the curtains down it looks like night time inside their room, even though it’s closer to lunch. They’ve been up for almost two straight days and Richard’s body is already shutting down, getting ready to rest. There’s almost no energy left in him.
“I knew who you were,” Misha admits so quietly Richard almost misses it.
“What?” Richard asks, but he doesn’t move. Is almost afraid to move.
“When I was growing up I had a poster of you on my wall,” Misha spills out, his whole face bright red. “You were my first fantasy when I got old enough to understand that I didn’t like girls.”
“Oh holly berries,” Richard groans as he rolls over and hides his face in the sheets. “You have to be joking, I’m not that old.”
“Yes, you are,” Misha chuckles. “And I’m that pathetic. I hit on you because you were the guy for me. Always have been, and then you came home with me and the next morning, oh Richard. I was so horrified. I knew we were going to be working together and I didn’t know what to do. So I ran and when you got there you looked so disgusted…I just couldn’t tell you I knew you. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry I acted like a reindeer’s rear-end,” Richard offers as he hugs Misha tighter.
“You still are, you know,” Misha mumbles out sleepily a few moments later.
“What?” Richard snorts. “A reindeer’s rear-end?”
“No!” Misha slaps at him weakly before curling over on his side and tucking himself against Richard’s body in the position he likes to sleep in. “You’re still the guy for me.”
Richard soaks up the love he feels greedily, before whispering back, “You’re it for me too.”
“More than Christmas,” Misha breathes out against his shoulder.
“More than Christmas,” Richard agrees as sleep overtakes them both.