Boobies and beer...
Tonight I hung out with Jeff, Greg & Alan again. We just sat around. They drank and played video games, I flirted some more with Jeff. Why do I try? He's a virgin, and I don't want his first time to be wasted on someone he doesn't care about. Like he'd ever want to have sex with a filthy tramp like me, anyway. We decided we're going to throw a "Jeff got laid" party the day after he gets into a girls pants. It's true. There's going to be banners and balloons out front. I'm kind of upset that I left half a pack of smokes at Alan's house. Now I'm probably never getting those back.
I'm doing good lately. Jason is becoming a distant memory, thank god. I haven't had to suffer alone. I've spent almost every night in the company of others and that makes me happy. I do have a distraction. I'm surprised by how easy the whole "friends with benefits" thing is. You're really good friends who occasionally sleep with eachother. The difference between that and a relationship, semantics aside, is that there's no emotional involvement. Sex is the easy part in any relationship, it's the emotional connection that you try to make thats the hard part. With this, there's no need for that connection. You fuck, you hang out. You're not obligated to one another, there's no emotional responsibility. It's what I want right now. I'm convinced the last thing I need right now is another douchebag to fuck with my head and make me crazy. I don't want another relationship unless I can be absolutely sure that this person can give me exactly what I need. That and I don't think I can handle the disappointment of another failed relationship. It would be too much, just too much. As much as I would love to fall in love again...it's not worth it right now.
Tonight I used the word "antithesis" in a casual conversation with three drunk guys. I amaze myself.
I'm doing good lately. Jason is becoming a distant memory, thank god. I haven't had to suffer alone. I've spent almost every night in the company of others and that makes me happy. I do have a distraction. I'm surprised by how easy the whole "friends with benefits" thing is. You're really good friends who occasionally sleep with eachother. The difference between that and a relationship, semantics aside, is that there's no emotional involvement. Sex is the easy part in any relationship, it's the emotional connection that you try to make thats the hard part. With this, there's no need for that connection. You fuck, you hang out. You're not obligated to one another, there's no emotional responsibility. It's what I want right now. I'm convinced the last thing I need right now is another douchebag to fuck with my head and make me crazy. I don't want another relationship unless I can be absolutely sure that this person can give me exactly what I need. That and I don't think I can handle the disappointment of another failed relationship. It would be too much, just too much. As much as I would love to fall in love again...it's not worth it right now.
Tonight I used the word "antithesis" in a casual conversation with three drunk guys. I amaze myself.