I definitely prefer the second one; can't exactly explain why off the top of my head but, the concept and characters seem interesting and I like the idea behind it. Especially if you do a separate little book for each character detailing up to a point where they all meet/both meet each other. (I wanna see how she's "torn apart" by the knight seven times as well. Is it literal? Emotional? Figurative? So much potential!)
I do like to tell multiple stories at once. If I don't make separate stories for everyone, I'll make small additional chapters that expand upon the character. That is why I named my book "FRAGMENTS". I want to tell a story that is like numerous little pieces that make up a really beautiful whole.
The meaning behind "torn apart" is multi-faceted, but I think you'll like it if you like xxxHolic or Tsubasa. It's a bit like those two series, and it's different every time.
There was a series of books that did something kind of similar that the style you wrote the teaser to reminded me of in a way. "The Magic Circle" by Tamora Pierce (I MAY have the series name wrong, it's way late here and I've had no sleep). Each book sort of focused on one primary character's trial... but made sure to remind the reader that it wasn't just "their" story, it was still about all of them and the other three were just as important, if not more so (usually because one of the four would have a gigantic conflict that only the support, intervention or planning with/from the other three could possible help said individual find the appropriate mindset/will to make their decision
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I'm trying to decide which one to write. I have the entire first premise planned out, but I like the second one much more.
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My vote is definitely for the second one. ^_^
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The meaning behind "torn apart" is multi-faceted, but I think you'll like it if you like xxxHolic or Tsubasa. It's a bit like those two series, and it's different every time.
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