Insight: 20/100, Hindsight: 20/20
Last night (or this morning, if you must be accurate) I had a good laugh with Chris about the very intoxicated couple we went to Waffle House with after bowling. He was the chattiest drunk I've ever seen, constantly pressing the importance of one topic to death before being distracted into another. We quickly ate our waffles and left once we paid our tab, laughing to ourselves as soon as we walked out the door.
Being the only sober person surrounded by drunks: Annoying.
Being surrounded by drunks with a sober friend: Priceless.
It was the drunken ramblings about pot that made me really introspective, however. When I heard all the justifications about weed I couldn't help but her the same words coming from my lips a year ago. I've been clean all year and have lost any desire to smoke, even with 4-20 coming up tomorrow. I feel like a completely changed person, empowered by my independence from dependent substances. He asked me why I ever tried it in the first place and although I knew the answer, it hurt to actually admit it. I had serious body issues and didn't give a shit about my health or my life. In many ways, embracing my sobriety has been a critical step in my transition. I don't just see my body as the shell that transports my thoughts anymore. I genuinely love my body and want to take care of it as best I can.
I looked back on my bulimic, binge-drinking pothead years and felt ashamed. It's not that I didn't learn anything from those wasted years, but I could have been so much more productive. "If only I knew then what I know now." Of course, I've had these thoughts about other transitions before. I realize it's always easier to criticize in hindsight, easier to say things would have been better once they've already happened. But I prefer to think the future will always get better so long as I learn from my history. As George Santayana said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
Being the only sober person surrounded by drunks: Annoying.
Being surrounded by drunks with a sober friend: Priceless.
It was the drunken ramblings about pot that made me really introspective, however. When I heard all the justifications about weed I couldn't help but her the same words coming from my lips a year ago. I've been clean all year and have lost any desire to smoke, even with 4-20 coming up tomorrow. I feel like a completely changed person, empowered by my independence from dependent substances. He asked me why I ever tried it in the first place and although I knew the answer, it hurt to actually admit it. I had serious body issues and didn't give a shit about my health or my life. In many ways, embracing my sobriety has been a critical step in my transition. I don't just see my body as the shell that transports my thoughts anymore. I genuinely love my body and want to take care of it as best I can.
I looked back on my bulimic, binge-drinking pothead years and felt ashamed. It's not that I didn't learn anything from those wasted years, but I could have been so much more productive. "If only I knew then what I know now." Of course, I've had these thoughts about other transitions before. I realize it's always easier to criticize in hindsight, easier to say things would have been better once they've already happened. But I prefer to think the future will always get better so long as I learn from my history. As George Santayana said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."