He hit me -fic-
Dear diary.
here i was thinking my life couldn't get any worse...
Today Harley hit me... I guess it really was my fault... I wasn't home in time... He doesn't like me out after ten... I wasn't disobeying him on purpose...it was the traffic I swear... I left the skating rink at nine... Traffic kept me away... It was ten forty when I got home...
I never thought he'd hit me... I mean, I know he's been more...aggressive lately, but he's just stressed with.. Things... He won't tell me what.
He said he was sorry, and he seemed sincere but.. He always seems sincere after he does something to upset me...
I haven't told daddy he hit me yet... I know if I did he'd kill Harley...and if he didn't, he'd take me away from him... But he can't!! I love Harley! He didn't ...he didn't mean to hit me so hard! He was probably scared something had happened to me...he was scared Pierce would steal me from him and he got mad... He won't hit me again... He promised...
I guess I should go to sleep now... he'll be mad if I'm groggy tomorrow.. I'll write more later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I have to go guys, I'm sorry.." I tell my sister Brody and her friends, nearly yelling to be heard over the loud music in the gothically styles skating rink. "ugh, because that fucking boy of yours said so huh?" Brody graons, putting her hands on her hips.
"we were just about to go to the club!!" Pierce, my unadmittedly gay friend, whines.
"I know I know, but Harley wants me home... He.. Doesn't like when I'm out past ten..." I admit in a sigh, even I can tell how stupid it looks to be kept on such strict rules by my boyfriend.
"What is he? YOUR FUCKING DAD NOW?!" Brody yells, she never liked Harley..
"Look, I have to go, I'm sorry, we'll hang again next weekend.." I promise and hug my sister tightly, then Pierce.
"fine." Brody grumbles, though unheard because the music swallows her words.
"Yeah, that's a promise!" Pierce says as he squeezes me in a suffocatingly tight bear hug.
"BYE!" I yell over my shoulder as I hand in my rented skates to the rental cart before walking out to my small red European car that my father gave me when I turned 16...even that gift isn't enough to make me forgive him...but that another story..
The drive home was slow... Very slow.
"DAMNIT! I should have left earlier!! This traffic is gonna make me late! Shit!" I punch the steering wheel and automatically jump back in pain. "Shit..." I sigh as I look up at the roof of my car.
The other cars were literally crawling along the road. People one bikes are passing me!
I look at the clock nervously... And with good reason i see as i read the time off of it...nine thirty...
"Shit, I need to call Harley..." I can feel myself tensing in anticipation of Harley yelling at me... I hate when he yells at me...especially when it's my fault...
I dig around for my phone for a while before i realize i left it on top of Pierce's bagpack back at the rink.
"Merde! Harley va me tuer!" I scream in French, my native tongue. I have a habit of returning to my native tongue when I get frustrated.
When i arrive home its already ten forty... And I know Harley will be waiting inside.. Pissed.
I slowly open the unlocked door, procrastinated facing him. "Harley, I'm ho-...Harley..." I stop mid-sentence when I see my boyfriend pacing around, pulling on his hair. Harley stops and looks at me and I feel my heart stop when as I watch his eyes going from frantic to rage, "WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!" He yells at me, making my flinch.
"T-traffic...it held me up...I'm s-sorry...I didn't mean to worry you..." I say, in an almost whisper compared to how loud Harley's yelling at me.
"Like hell you were! You were to wrapped up in that faggot Pierce to leave on time!!" Harley says, his voice lowering but becoming more dangerous as well.
"I left at nine, I promise...and Pierce is just that, gay... There's nothing between us we're just-...!!" I gasps as Harley slams me against the wall, his large rough hands pinning my considerably smaller arms to the wall of above my head.
"You're lying to me..." Harley hisses, his eyes trained on mine in the way a pitbull would lock eyes with someone he just decided to kill.
"I-I promise I'm not, H-Harley... I swear..." I breath out, unable to look away from his hate filled eyes. His venomously low growl makes my blood turn cold.
"You have one more chance to tell the truth, or I'm leaving." He threatens as he always does... And I begin to freak out like I always do. "I swear I there's nothing between us, Harley!! Please! I'll do anything to prove it! Don't leave me.." I beg as my eyes start to burn, the sure sign that tears were soon to start welling up in my eyes.
"LIAR!!" Harley screams and punches the walls just aside my head, making me cry out in fear.
And here's the thing, I'm not a fearful girl, I like to thing I'm a rather touch girl, actually...but Harley...he scares the life out of me... He brings back every worse fear, ever nasty nightmare, every terrifying moment of my life roaring back to life when he gets like this.
"I-I'm n-not lying!! Harley I'm NOT!!" I scream, tugging to get my arms free, but it's futile, all it does is shake little pieces of dry wood into my hair from the hole Harley's fist made in the wall.
"Lying fucking slut!! I know you two are screwing around!! I know you're going to leave me for him!!! And I'm not letting it happens!!" He screams in my face, close enough that I can feel his breath against my lips.
"Please.. please believe me.." I beg. And by this point I'm sobbing and shaking with fear.
And then something I never thought would happened...happened.
All I remember hearing a loud thunp and falling face down on the floor, the world spinning around me. I can't hear a think...everything is black and my head is throbbing.
I can feel myself sobbing, and I can feel myself tensed against something I couldn't understand yet...but slowly my senses started to cone back. First I could hear a endless stream of apologies from Harley, then I could feel his hands on my face, and soon after I could see his face just inches from mine
Then the realization hit me... Harley hit me... Hard enough to make my vision fail and my head to ache like I was hit my a train...
and suddenly I'm sobbing harder then I ever have, pushing my back against the wall, one arm wrapped around my torso because crying so hard hurts, the other holding my face where I was struck.
"I'm so sorry! Drualt! I'm so so sorry!" I hear Harley saying as he strokes his fingers through ky hair, making me cringe and press harder to the wall, away from him.
And despite all this... The pain... The ache in my heart to know the love of my life had hit me and the fear that he would again all I could fight to day was "p-please d...don't l-leave me, H-H-Harley.." in a pitifully jagged cry.
"I won't, cupcake, I swear I won't." Harley says as I feel him life me up of the cold floor and take me upstairs to lay me on the bed. I watch him run out of the room and down the stairs before I curl up into a shaking sobbing ball on the bed I share with Harley... My mind was jumping back and forth between 'oh my god my boyfriend hit me' and 'god please don't let me leave me'.
I hear Harley rub back up the stairs and sit next to me on the bed, "I got you some tylenol, baby.." he says to me, his voice gently like it was when I met him.
I can't force myself to sit up, so soon I feel him pull me into his lap, and put the medicine in my mouth before giving me a sip of water.
"I'm s-so so sorry...I'm sorry I hurt you cupcake... I swear I'll never hit you again... I swear." I can feel his body quivering and I soon feel his tears on my neck as he hugs me tightly against his strong body...I feel so tiny when he holds me...
I don't remember if I fell asleep or passed out, but the world slowly faded black again as I sat there in my boyfriends lap, too shocked to do anything but cry.
here i was thinking my life couldn't get any worse...
Today Harley hit me... I guess it really was my fault... I wasn't home in time... He doesn't like me out after ten... I wasn't disobeying him on purpose...it was the traffic I swear... I left the skating rink at nine... Traffic kept me away... It was ten forty when I got home...
I never thought he'd hit me... I mean, I know he's been more...aggressive lately, but he's just stressed with.. Things... He won't tell me what.
He said he was sorry, and he seemed sincere but.. He always seems sincere after he does something to upset me...
I haven't told daddy he hit me yet... I know if I did he'd kill Harley...and if he didn't, he'd take me away from him... But he can't!! I love Harley! He didn't ...he didn't mean to hit me so hard! He was probably scared something had happened to me...he was scared Pierce would steal me from him and he got mad... He won't hit me again... He promised...
I guess I should go to sleep now... he'll be mad if I'm groggy tomorrow.. I'll write more later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I have to go guys, I'm sorry.." I tell my sister Brody and her friends, nearly yelling to be heard over the loud music in the gothically styles skating rink. "ugh, because that fucking boy of yours said so huh?" Brody graons, putting her hands on her hips.
"we were just about to go to the club!!" Pierce, my unadmittedly gay friend, whines.
"I know I know, but Harley wants me home... He.. Doesn't like when I'm out past ten..." I admit in a sigh, even I can tell how stupid it looks to be kept on such strict rules by my boyfriend.
"What is he? YOUR FUCKING DAD NOW?!" Brody yells, she never liked Harley..
"Look, I have to go, I'm sorry, we'll hang again next weekend.." I promise and hug my sister tightly, then Pierce.
"fine." Brody grumbles, though unheard because the music swallows her words.
"Yeah, that's a promise!" Pierce says as he squeezes me in a suffocatingly tight bear hug.
"BYE!" I yell over my shoulder as I hand in my rented skates to the rental cart before walking out to my small red European car that my father gave me when I turned 16...even that gift isn't enough to make me forgive him...but that another story..
The drive home was slow... Very slow.
"DAMNIT! I should have left earlier!! This traffic is gonna make me late! Shit!" I punch the steering wheel and automatically jump back in pain. "Shit..." I sigh as I look up at the roof of my car.
The other cars were literally crawling along the road. People one bikes are passing me!
I look at the clock nervously... And with good reason i see as i read the time off of it...nine thirty...
"Shit, I need to call Harley..." I can feel myself tensing in anticipation of Harley yelling at me... I hate when he yells at me...especially when it's my fault...
I dig around for my phone for a while before i realize i left it on top of Pierce's bagpack back at the rink.
"Merde! Harley va me tuer!" I scream in French, my native tongue. I have a habit of returning to my native tongue when I get frustrated.
When i arrive home its already ten forty... And I know Harley will be waiting inside.. Pissed.
I slowly open the unlocked door, procrastinated facing him. "Harley, I'm ho-...Harley..." I stop mid-sentence when I see my boyfriend pacing around, pulling on his hair. Harley stops and looks at me and I feel my heart stop when as I watch his eyes going from frantic to rage, "WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!" He yells at me, making my flinch.
"T-traffic...it held me up...I'm s-sorry...I didn't mean to worry you..." I say, in an almost whisper compared to how loud Harley's yelling at me.
"Like hell you were! You were to wrapped up in that faggot Pierce to leave on time!!" Harley says, his voice lowering but becoming more dangerous as well.
"I left at nine, I promise...and Pierce is just that, gay... There's nothing between us we're just-...!!" I gasps as Harley slams me against the wall, his large rough hands pinning my considerably smaller arms to the wall of above my head.
"You're lying to me..." Harley hisses, his eyes trained on mine in the way a pitbull would lock eyes with someone he just decided to kill.
"I-I promise I'm not, H-Harley... I swear..." I breath out, unable to look away from his hate filled eyes. His venomously low growl makes my blood turn cold.
"You have one more chance to tell the truth, or I'm leaving." He threatens as he always does... And I begin to freak out like I always do. "I swear I there's nothing between us, Harley!! Please! I'll do anything to prove it! Don't leave me.." I beg as my eyes start to burn, the sure sign that tears were soon to start welling up in my eyes.
"LIAR!!" Harley screams and punches the walls just aside my head, making me cry out in fear.
And here's the thing, I'm not a fearful girl, I like to thing I'm a rather touch girl, actually...but Harley...he scares the life out of me... He brings back every worse fear, ever nasty nightmare, every terrifying moment of my life roaring back to life when he gets like this.
"I-I'm n-not lying!! Harley I'm NOT!!" I scream, tugging to get my arms free, but it's futile, all it does is shake little pieces of dry wood into my hair from the hole Harley's fist made in the wall.
"Lying fucking slut!! I know you two are screwing around!! I know you're going to leave me for him!!! And I'm not letting it happens!!" He screams in my face, close enough that I can feel his breath against my lips.
"Please.. please believe me.." I beg. And by this point I'm sobbing and shaking with fear.
And then something I never thought would happened...happened.
All I remember hearing a loud thunp and falling face down on the floor, the world spinning around me. I can't hear a think...everything is black and my head is throbbing.
I can feel myself sobbing, and I can feel myself tensed against something I couldn't understand yet...but slowly my senses started to cone back. First I could hear a endless stream of apologies from Harley, then I could feel his hands on my face, and soon after I could see his face just inches from mine
Then the realization hit me... Harley hit me... Hard enough to make my vision fail and my head to ache like I was hit my a train...
and suddenly I'm sobbing harder then I ever have, pushing my back against the wall, one arm wrapped around my torso because crying so hard hurts, the other holding my face where I was struck.
"I'm so sorry! Drualt! I'm so so sorry!" I hear Harley saying as he strokes his fingers through ky hair, making me cringe and press harder to the wall, away from him.
And despite all this... The pain... The ache in my heart to know the love of my life had hit me and the fear that he would again all I could fight to day was "p-please d...don't l-leave me, H-H-Harley.." in a pitifully jagged cry.
"I won't, cupcake, I swear I won't." Harley says as I feel him life me up of the cold floor and take me upstairs to lay me on the bed. I watch him run out of the room and down the stairs before I curl up into a shaking sobbing ball on the bed I share with Harley... My mind was jumping back and forth between 'oh my god my boyfriend hit me' and 'god please don't let me leave me'.
I hear Harley rub back up the stairs and sit next to me on the bed, "I got you some tylenol, baby.." he says to me, his voice gently like it was when I met him.
I can't force myself to sit up, so soon I feel him pull me into his lap, and put the medicine in my mouth before giving me a sip of water.
"I'm s-so so sorry...I'm sorry I hurt you cupcake... I swear I'll never hit you again... I swear." I can feel his body quivering and I soon feel his tears on my neck as he hugs me tightly against his strong body...I feel so tiny when he holds me...
I don't remember if I fell asleep or passed out, but the world slowly faded black again as I sat there in my boyfriends lap, too shocked to do anything but cry.