changes

[gealachlasair]

so, one decision has been made, i've stopped putting up with john. I'm sick of being the pawn in someone elses battle. on that note, i've decided to be selfish for a little while, cutting out all the pieces of my life that make me unhappy, and leaving the ones that i like. So Sci-fi, classes, Everett, Roscoe and Murphy, and maybe even Imaginary

Comments

once there was a way to get back homeward

[gealachlasair]

i feel the need to tell you, that if you trust me, i'd trust you back, but you don't trust me, no one ever does, and you all assume i'm being dishonest, or mean, when really i just don't understand things, or see things in the same way everyone else does, i thought you understood me, but your just like the rest of them, you saw me as the child that i am -sometimes- i am not always that child, often i am a real human adult, and i do not like to be distrusted, or doubted, or ignored because i'm not mature enough to know what i'm talking about. if you people ever listened to what i had to say, in between the spouts of insanity, you'd realize i have a perfectly capable understanding of human interaction, that is usually quite insightful and i can gage peoples emotions to the point were i'm pretty good at perdiction outcomes of situations. the only outcome for this one was you were going to hate me. so i tried my best to stall the situation. But you did what everyone before you did, assumed that i'm an idiot, and all those people are gone, like you will be, i'm sorry i can't show you the proper feelings of regret that you crave from me, but i don't understand why this should be a regretful thing, after all if we both learned the lessons from eachother we were suppose to learn in meeting, then there is nothing to regret. i apologize for being a pain in the ass, and so very incomprehensable. as to deppression, no i don't know what it's like, and i probably never will, because everyone just gets mad, instead of explaining, i believe i've said this before, but have a good life, i only wish you the best.

Re: once there was a way to get back homeward

[dirk27]

I don't trust anyone...I have trusted anyone for a while...
I try to treat people like adults, even my girl scouts. But its hard to delineate between your two mood swings. Right now I'm drowning and can't get a grasp on anything...I figured out a way to cope but it isn't the right way...hopefully we can continue friends once I sort everything out...Nathan is hopefully going to help with this, because otherwise going to AZ will just be running away.
If you wanted this not to end this way, you could have just told me what it was you wouldn't tell me. It would have ended with Nathan either way. I just have the naive (very very naive) hope that maybe he will have a change of heart like Kerry did...but I am still glad that he can be part of my life. And I wish you could too...

Re: once there was a way to get back homeward

[gealachlasair]

i don't hate you, i'm just don't want to be held responsible for your mental problems right now, i have my own issues with life, and you're one more thing that makes me cry, i don't like crying. But if you have a trustworthy place i can leave your quilt, it should be finished by the end of the week, i could leave it with someone on campus, or drop it off up north if i have to.