(no subject)
What is this shit?
Have I really fallen this far back from who I was? Or have I always lacked this much integrity and been so mediocre?
I see my self doing things which would make most people cringe and run home to wash the moment off themselves. By my own personal standards Im a terrible human being who is doing just enough to get by but not really working towards any one particular goal. I could blame it on the circumstances but no, lets be honest. I've turned into the half-ass excuse of a pilot/friend/boyfriend/brother/son/christian. And Im the only one to blame for that. I need to light a fire under my ass again and change this fat slob I've let myself become. I need to get my priorities straight.
Living in two worlds is exhausting and I don't think we're meant to live that way. I want to settle more into the world up here in Fort Pierce. But even this world is splitting up into two. fuck
Have I really fallen this far back from who I was? Or have I always lacked this much integrity and been so mediocre?
I see my self doing things which would make most people cringe and run home to wash the moment off themselves. By my own personal standards Im a terrible human being who is doing just enough to get by but not really working towards any one particular goal. I could blame it on the circumstances but no, lets be honest. I've turned into the half-ass excuse of a pilot/friend/boyfriend/brother/son/christian. And Im the only one to blame for that. I need to light a fire under my ass again and change this fat slob I've let myself become. I need to get my priorities straight.
Living in two worlds is exhausting and I don't think we're meant to live that way. I want to settle more into the world up here in Fort Pierce. But even this world is splitting up into two. fuck