Comments | gbtso: Welcome to Armpit, Indiana

gbtso

Welcome to Armpit, Indiana

Apr 21, 2009 19:50

So I'm driving today, on my way to Grandma's after having been through the drive-thru at the local 'freen-ferye' store (toddler-speak for McDonald's), when lo and behold I see this plastered on the back window of the Jeep Grand Cherokee in front of me:

IF YOUR RIDIN MY ASS
YOU BETTER BE
PULLING MY HAIR

May we stop and analyze this for a short moment? ( Read more... )

just jen2

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aggiebell90 April 22 2009, 02:52:37 UTC

Hahahahaha.

*snort*

Ahem. Sorry. (But not really. I really wish I had been in the car with you when you saw this, though. I'd have loved to have seen your expression.)

gbtso April 22 2009, 13:20:31 UTC

Oh, believe me. This was burned behind my eyelids for eight hours before I could get home to post it!

The only thing that could possibly be worse is when men with very-large trucks have the naked silhouettes of women on their mudflaps or a scrotum hanging from their trailer hitch. It doubles my annoyance if the said scrotum is actually flesh colored and "lifelike."

winchley April 22 2009, 17:50:47 UTC

A scrotum? really? How could anyone possibly find that an appealing ornament to hang on their truck? and wouldn't a man find it... painful to watch that thing tied to a hitch and swinging back and forth in the wind? or is it some type of testosterone laden warning to car thieves?

gbtso April 22 2009, 18:16:13 UTC

Technically, I should have used the correct terminology. They're called Bumper Nuts. Isn't that classy?

If you'd like to buy some, you can go here:
http://www.bumpernuts.com/

Here are some of my favorites:

Big Brassy Balls
http://www.bumpernuts.com/best%20balls.htm

the dreaded Blue Balls
http://www.bumpernuts.com/blue%20balls.htm

For the avid outdoorsman, Camo Balls
http://www.bumpernuts.com/OD%20GREEN.htm

And their most popular product, regular old nuts
http://www.bumpernuts.com/flesh%20nuts.htm

No, I'm not kidding. People hang these from their vehicles. To me, it just screams, "I HAVE NO PENIS!"

katwoman_68 April 22 2009, 22:08:42 UTC

I admit it, I had to click on your link and I saw this quote on the page. OK, I have added to said quote (can you guess my addition?):

Auto accessories that make folks laugh at anyone who would hang these on their vehicle.

gbtso April 22 2009, 22:57:36 UTC

*laffs*

I mean, really. Someone registered the domain name and created a whole website devoted to these physiological marvels.

Is anyone else curious to see the CEO of bumpernuts.com? I bet his wife and kids are proud to answer when someone asks, "So where does your husband/daddy work?"

aggiebell90 April 24 2009, 02:37:44 UTC

*dies laughing*

They're all over around her (south-central Texas college town), too, actually, although it's almost always on some student's truck. They give me the heebie-jeebies. *shudders*

aggiebell90 April 24 2009, 02:45:48 UTC

Ugh. I hate the bumpernuts. We've got them here, too, and they make me ill.

For a while, we owned a nekkid-lady boot-puller (got it at a white elephant gift exchange. Weren't we lucky? *rolls eyes*). You stand on her head and put the heel of your boot in her crotch and pull the boot off.

I had no desire to have that monstrosity in my house, so we took it back for the exchange the next year. One of the guys picked the thing on purpose and mounted it on the grill of his truck. He had those damn balls hanging from his trailer hitch and the nekkid lady mudflaps. He was the epitome of class, as I'm sure you can tell. *pokes out eyes*

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