The weird questionnaire
Linked from Jeff Vandermeer.
Éric Poindron’s Étrange (*) Questionnaire
(*) Bizarre, extraordinary, singular, surprising. Le Robert Dictionary
1 - Write the first sentence of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.
In the Insect House, Matilda was reattaching the legs to the ants.
2 - Without looking at your watch: what time is it?
12:25
3 - Look at your watch. What time is it?
12:28
4 - How do you explain this - or these - discrepancy(ies) in time?
That's what clocks are for.
5 - Do you believe in meteorological predictions?
I accept their likelihood.
6 - Do you believe in astrological predictions?
No.
7 - Do you gaze at the sky and stars by night?
Yes.
8 - What do you think of the sky and stars by night?
Wow.
9 - What were you looking at before starting this questionnaire?
Minecraft.
10 - What do cathedrals, churches, mosques, shrines, synagogues, and other religious monuments inspire in you?
Curiosity.
11 - What would you have “seen” if you’d been blind?
I don't know.
12 - What would you want to see if you were blind?
The sun.
13 - Are you afraid?
Only of dentists.
14 - What of?
The metal things they put in your mouth.
15 - What is the last weird film you’ve seen?
16 - Whom are you afraid of?
No one in particular.
17 - Have you ever been lost?
Yes. When I was a kid I got lost in a supermarket, so I went to the Police Station.
18 - Do you believe in ghosts?
No.
19 - What is a ghost?
Dead spirits.
20 - At this very moment, what sound(s) can you here, apart from the computer?
The Might Boosh and Paula going to bed.
21 - What is the most terrifying sound you’ve ever heard - for example, “the night was like the cry of a wolf”?
A fog horn, close up behind me at a football match.
22 - Have you done something weird today or in the last few days?
I played a computer game and pretended to be a man in diamond armour.
23 - Have you ever been to confession?
No. I was never confirmed.
24 - You’re at confession, so confess the unspeakable.
"-"
25 -Without cheating: what is a “cabinet of curiosities”?
A collection of interesting things. Ein Wunderkammer, of things that fascinated the owner.
26 -Do you believe in redemption?
Yes.
27 - Have you dreamed tonight?
Probably
28 - Do you remember your dreams?
Not very often
29 - What was your last dream?
I don't know
30 - What does fog make you think of?
Dickens.
31 - Do you believe in animals that don’t exist?
No.
32 - What do you see on the walls of the room where you are?
A painting by my dead step-father of the countryside in SW France. There's a rabbit, a dog, a horse and a deer, cows a goat and a farmer.
33 - If you became a magician, what would be the first thing you’d do?
Laugh
34 - What is a madman?
Someone who doesn't fit in, often in an unhappy way.
35 - Are you mad?
I'm not unhappy.
36 - Do you believe in the existence of secret societies?
Yes.
37 - What was the last weird book you read?
Fancies and Goodnights by John Collier
38 - Would you like to live in a castle?
A bit draughty but plenty of space for books.
39 - Have you seen something weird today?
An invocation to Master of the Great White Lodge
40 - What is the weirdest film you’ve ever seen?
The Falls by Peter Greenaway
41 - Would you like to live in an abandoned train station?
My Mum lives in one. It was quite nice.
42 - Can you see the future?
To a certain extent. It's what maths is for.
43 - Have you considered living abroad?
I have lived abroad, but not through choice.
44 - Where?
France
45 - Why?
That's where my parents went
46 - What is the weirdest film you’ve ever owned?
The Falls by Peter Greenaway
47 - Would you liked to have lived in a vicarage?
My first residence was a vicarage.
48 - What is the weirdest book you’ve ever read?
That one about the oil conspiracy and sand. [This one:
Cyclonopedia: Complicity with Anonymous Materials by Reza Negarestani]
49 - Which do you like better, globes or hourglasses?
Globes
50 - Which do you like better, antique magnifying glasses or bladed weapons?
Magnifying glasses
51 - What, in all likelihood, lies in the depths of Loch Ness?
Dirty water.
52 - Do you like taxidermied animals?
Not particularly.
53 - Do you like walking in the rain?
Yes.
54 - What goes on in tunnels?
Births and rebirths.
55 - What do you look at when you look away from this questionnaire?
The painting on the wall.
56 - What does this famous line inspire in you: “And when he had crossed the bridge, the phantoms came to meet him.”?
Loss of hope.
57 - Without cheating: where is that famous line from?
I thought it was from something Gothic, Dracula maybe.
58 - Do you like walking in graveyards or the woods by night?
Sure
58 - Write the last line of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.
In the house, the Queen was reattaching Matilda's legs.
59 - Without looking at your watch: what time is it?
12:48
60 - Look at your watch. What time is it?
12:55
Éric Poindron’s Étrange (*) Questionnaire
(*) Bizarre, extraordinary, singular, surprising. Le Robert Dictionary
1 - Write the first sentence of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.
In the Insect House, Matilda was reattaching the legs to the ants.
2 - Without looking at your watch: what time is it?
12:25
3 - Look at your watch. What time is it?
12:28
4 - How do you explain this - or these - discrepancy(ies) in time?
That's what clocks are for.
5 - Do you believe in meteorological predictions?
I accept their likelihood.
6 - Do you believe in astrological predictions?
No.
7 - Do you gaze at the sky and stars by night?
Yes.
8 - What do you think of the sky and stars by night?
Wow.
9 - What were you looking at before starting this questionnaire?
Minecraft.
10 - What do cathedrals, churches, mosques, shrines, synagogues, and other religious monuments inspire in you?
Curiosity.
11 - What would you have “seen” if you’d been blind?
I don't know.
12 - What would you want to see if you were blind?
The sun.
13 - Are you afraid?
Only of dentists.
14 - What of?
The metal things they put in your mouth.
15 - What is the last weird film you’ve seen?
16 - Whom are you afraid of?
No one in particular.
17 - Have you ever been lost?
Yes. When I was a kid I got lost in a supermarket, so I went to the Police Station.
18 - Do you believe in ghosts?
No.
19 - What is a ghost?
Dead spirits.
20 - At this very moment, what sound(s) can you here, apart from the computer?
The Might Boosh and Paula going to bed.
21 - What is the most terrifying sound you’ve ever heard - for example, “the night was like the cry of a wolf”?
A fog horn, close up behind me at a football match.
22 - Have you done something weird today or in the last few days?
I played a computer game and pretended to be a man in diamond armour.
23 - Have you ever been to confession?
No. I was never confirmed.
24 - You’re at confession, so confess the unspeakable.
"-"
25 -Without cheating: what is a “cabinet of curiosities”?
A collection of interesting things. Ein Wunderkammer, of things that fascinated the owner.
26 -Do you believe in redemption?
Yes.
27 - Have you dreamed tonight?
Probably
28 - Do you remember your dreams?
Not very often
29 - What was your last dream?
I don't know
30 - What does fog make you think of?
Dickens.
31 - Do you believe in animals that don’t exist?
No.
32 - What do you see on the walls of the room where you are?
A painting by my dead step-father of the countryside in SW France. There's a rabbit, a dog, a horse and a deer, cows a goat and a farmer.
33 - If you became a magician, what would be the first thing you’d do?
Laugh
34 - What is a madman?
Someone who doesn't fit in, often in an unhappy way.
35 - Are you mad?
I'm not unhappy.
36 - Do you believe in the existence of secret societies?
Yes.
37 - What was the last weird book you read?
Fancies and Goodnights by John Collier
38 - Would you like to live in a castle?
A bit draughty but plenty of space for books.
39 - Have you seen something weird today?
An invocation to Master of the Great White Lodge
40 - What is the weirdest film you’ve ever seen?
The Falls by Peter Greenaway
41 - Would you like to live in an abandoned train station?
My Mum lives in one. It was quite nice.
42 - Can you see the future?
To a certain extent. It's what maths is for.
43 - Have you considered living abroad?
I have lived abroad, but not through choice.
44 - Where?
France
45 - Why?
That's where my parents went
46 - What is the weirdest film you’ve ever owned?
The Falls by Peter Greenaway
47 - Would you liked to have lived in a vicarage?
My first residence was a vicarage.
48 - What is the weirdest book you’ve ever read?
That one about the oil conspiracy and sand. [This one:
Cyclonopedia: Complicity with Anonymous Materials by Reza Negarestani]
49 - Which do you like better, globes or hourglasses?
Globes
50 - Which do you like better, antique magnifying glasses or bladed weapons?
Magnifying glasses
51 - What, in all likelihood, lies in the depths of Loch Ness?
Dirty water.
52 - Do you like taxidermied animals?
Not particularly.
53 - Do you like walking in the rain?
Yes.
54 - What goes on in tunnels?
Births and rebirths.
55 - What do you look at when you look away from this questionnaire?
The painting on the wall.
56 - What does this famous line inspire in you: “And when he had crossed the bridge, the phantoms came to meet him.”?
Loss of hope.
57 - Without cheating: where is that famous line from?
I thought it was from something Gothic, Dracula maybe.
58 - Do you like walking in graveyards or the woods by night?
Sure
58 - Write the last line of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.
In the house, the Queen was reattaching Matilda's legs.
59 - Without looking at your watch: what time is it?
12:48
60 - Look at your watch. What time is it?
12:55