Days blur when time stares blankly back.

Feb 06, 2003 19:03

Funny how as you slowly wait for nothing to go by, everything seems to want to take you down at once and just stand over laughing. For the past forty-eight hours I've found myself feeling as low as one person can get, (a memory I wished never to remember) my health has become this oncoming rollarcoaster one day my Ecsama wishes to be noticed, pain that I've not had to deal with since childhood, but then out of the blue with a knocking alone comes Asthma, not wanting to be left out of the party. But there is a flip side to this, being that in the UK I'd have had them tamed in a split second with no hassle. I'm in the US with no JOB I've no health coverage, so my pair of pains are having a fucking blast at the expense of my sanity. I find myself trying ever fucking trick that I can remember to keep them at bay, everthing from herbal drinks, fruit juices, fresh air to happy fucking thoughts. I really didn't need this shit to hit the fan now, but I do find myself waiting for the last member to join in and if that does happy then I'm really truely fucked. But Ha Ho just smile and sit back for all around has opened up again and my mind floods with all the past that had been tied down, Jesus Christ one minute of silence in my mind would be nice, but no he up there has his fucking plan so it must be played out without any complaining from his puppet who is under the strings screaming.
Upon the ground I hit the mud to uncover this stream of blood that has escaped and now freely flows down away towards to glass that is filled as he sitting there at the end lifts his bloody wine glass with a smile and nod he greedly slurps the liquid with no remorce or regret. I do nothing but stare before me the answer with the question in one vision but I'm now unable to read the lines and have nothing to show but my insanity that has me caged here in the night of the laughter that echoes with each tear that I let fall. FUCK IT ALL AND GOD BLESS THE DAMNED
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