indescribable...
its amazing how much you can miss someone you see everyday...
its a reminder of how much they get taken for granted.
and he's worth so much more than
being taken for granted.
i'm still in that rut of one step forward
two steps back.
but i think, and hope, that eventually
it will be two steps forward and only
one step back.
the longer we stay together
and the more we talk about it
i don't want to wait.
we're working our toward our futures
together.
more soon than later i want that to be
official.
crazy talk but its how i feel.
as soon as august is over time will fly.
life will become more monotonous than it already is.
routine will be be the way
rarely going off course.
this second half of this year should prove to be
more eventful
and more stablizing
than that of the first.
with frustration and anger
always comes joy and happiness.
i'm learning how to take as much good from the bad
as i can.
i'm learning that throughout my life
no matter how little i want to
i will be forced to compromise my way of life
and mesh it somehow with others.
i guess i'm just stubborn when it comes to certain things.
i just know how i like particular things done
and i hate to change that.
i also hate assumptions and wish they would not be made
especially in my house.
i have no proof so to speak but sometimes
the feeling is in the air.
the next 6 months will be taught how to deal
the learning process never to be over.
i just had to get all that rambling thats been in my head out. thanks for reading it if u did indeed read it. now to a more different kind of rambling. i'm sure no one wants to hear this again but i love my boyfriend. he puts up with so much of my dumb shit that i have to pinch myself everyday to know that he really is mine. and i'm glad that some of my friends, as cryptic as some of them are being and as little as i'm learning about others through heresay, are striving for their deserved happiness. it makes me feel good to know that the people i care about are happy in their own way in their own worlds. to everyone who thinks i have no idea what i'm talking about and you're all just miserable...i know there is something thats making you happy...whether it be near or far. and as much as i know my mom doesn't read this...i appreciate all she does for me. again, i'm always a huge pain in the ass and i'm so quick to jump to conclusions about things going on in the house. as much as mark may drive me crazy sometimes, he makes her happy and is getting all of our shit together and thats truly all that matters. and while we're on the subject of family...and i know she's going to read this, my sister is becoming way to beautiful for her own good. when she's my age i know its going to be all over. she'll have boys and men alike vying for her attention and its going to drive me crazy because she's always going to be my little sister, no matter how old she is. she's planning on getting her license this fall, kill me now. i can't imagine that in a million years (not that she won't be able to get it, but just her driving that silly pink car she has around). its just scary to realize that she's getting older with me, when before, it always seemed like it was just me growing up and not her. forget about when my brothers driving because then madison will be in school...thats when the real heartattack will ensue.
and now for the madison update. we went to her 4 month check up monday and guess what:
she is (well, was) 15.1 lbs and 25 inches (the paper said 25 but i could have sworn the nurse had said 27, but whatever). 15 lbs and growing. can't handle it. she's in the 75th percentile for both (for those who don't know what that means: she's heavier and taller than 75% of those in her age group) CRAZY!!! she laughs so much now (its so cute--her fave is peek-a-boo). she sucks on her toes now when she's on the changing table and gets right up on her knees like she wants to crawl but she just can't hold her upper body up yet; she can hold it up if she's lying flat. also, another big milestone---we tried baby rice cereal on monday. she seemed to like it only that night. i've tried it twice a day (even though its only been 2 days since) and each time since she's not really into it. i know it takes a while but she makes this adorable face like "eww what is this crap" and then proceeds to kinda gag on it (since most babies dont' really know how to swallow anything but liquid) and then i feel bad like i'm trying to force it down her throat. i usually get about 3-4 mini half baby-spoon-fuls before that happens and then i stop because i don't want her choke. if anyone knows of any advice (attn: chelsea and carissa) i would love it. i think that about covers her and you all heard about me.
well, now that everything seems to be out of the way i hope ya'll have a wonderful day, rest of the week and weekend if i don't hear from, talk to, or write again in the near future.
(as u can tell i haven't been getting much sleep the last few days)
Hugs and Kisses,
RAchel (and sleeping madison)
its a reminder of how much they get taken for granted.
and he's worth so much more than
being taken for granted.
i'm still in that rut of one step forward
two steps back.
but i think, and hope, that eventually
it will be two steps forward and only
one step back.
the longer we stay together
and the more we talk about it
i don't want to wait.
we're working our toward our futures
together.
more soon than later i want that to be
official.
crazy talk but its how i feel.
as soon as august is over time will fly.
life will become more monotonous than it already is.
routine will be be the way
rarely going off course.
this second half of this year should prove to be
more eventful
and more stablizing
than that of the first.
with frustration and anger
always comes joy and happiness.
i'm learning how to take as much good from the bad
as i can.
i'm learning that throughout my life
no matter how little i want to
i will be forced to compromise my way of life
and mesh it somehow with others.
i guess i'm just stubborn when it comes to certain things.
i just know how i like particular things done
and i hate to change that.
i also hate assumptions and wish they would not be made
especially in my house.
i have no proof so to speak but sometimes
the feeling is in the air.
the next 6 months will be taught how to deal
the learning process never to be over.
i just had to get all that rambling thats been in my head out. thanks for reading it if u did indeed read it. now to a more different kind of rambling. i'm sure no one wants to hear this again but i love my boyfriend. he puts up with so much of my dumb shit that i have to pinch myself everyday to know that he really is mine. and i'm glad that some of my friends, as cryptic as some of them are being and as little as i'm learning about others through heresay, are striving for their deserved happiness. it makes me feel good to know that the people i care about are happy in their own way in their own worlds. to everyone who thinks i have no idea what i'm talking about and you're all just miserable...i know there is something thats making you happy...whether it be near or far. and as much as i know my mom doesn't read this...i appreciate all she does for me. again, i'm always a huge pain in the ass and i'm so quick to jump to conclusions about things going on in the house. as much as mark may drive me crazy sometimes, he makes her happy and is getting all of our shit together and thats truly all that matters. and while we're on the subject of family...and i know she's going to read this, my sister is becoming way to beautiful for her own good. when she's my age i know its going to be all over. she'll have boys and men alike vying for her attention and its going to drive me crazy because she's always going to be my little sister, no matter how old she is. she's planning on getting her license this fall, kill me now. i can't imagine that in a million years (not that she won't be able to get it, but just her driving that silly pink car she has around). its just scary to realize that she's getting older with me, when before, it always seemed like it was just me growing up and not her. forget about when my brothers driving because then madison will be in school...thats when the real heartattack will ensue.
and now for the madison update. we went to her 4 month check up monday and guess what:
she is (well, was) 15.1 lbs and 25 inches (the paper said 25 but i could have sworn the nurse had said 27, but whatever). 15 lbs and growing. can't handle it. she's in the 75th percentile for both (for those who don't know what that means: she's heavier and taller than 75% of those in her age group) CRAZY!!! she laughs so much now (its so cute--her fave is peek-a-boo). she sucks on her toes now when she's on the changing table and gets right up on her knees like she wants to crawl but she just can't hold her upper body up yet; she can hold it up if she's lying flat. also, another big milestone---we tried baby rice cereal on monday. she seemed to like it only that night. i've tried it twice a day (even though its only been 2 days since) and each time since she's not really into it. i know it takes a while but she makes this adorable face like "eww what is this crap" and then proceeds to kinda gag on it (since most babies dont' really know how to swallow anything but liquid) and then i feel bad like i'm trying to force it down her throat. i usually get about 3-4 mini half baby-spoon-fuls before that happens and then i stop because i don't want her choke. if anyone knows of any advice (attn: chelsea and carissa) i would love it. i think that about covers her and you all heard about me.
well, now that everything seems to be out of the way i hope ya'll have a wonderful day, rest of the week and weekend if i don't hear from, talk to, or write again in the near future.
(as u can tell i haven't been getting much sleep the last few days)
Hugs and Kisses,
RAchel (and sleeping madison)