yuck
eating wheatthins and velvettypotatosoup. i'll leave my door open in case you walk on by.
i guess.
trying to get some bible reading in. trying not to fail my courses. trying so hard to slip this rain frm my brain, the grey from the pain, so everything is red and pink again. innards celebrating valentines day - the day i quit you and started smoking a pack every few days. you think if i quit smoking i could pick you pack up again? my other valentine habit. then inside'll be all pink and red again. lungs rejuvenated. taste buds less dulled, more picky. and boys in the complete back of my mind.
back then i used a microwave only for exploding marshmallows and splattering hot chocolate. back then we used phrases like bag of saliva, bloody sunday, and i think i fell, i need a bandaid and yours is the closest place i know to here. back then you were the closest thing to here.
and now you and clove cigarettes and marijuana in an attic and rings that look like elephants and drawing on your mothers grocery list at 2 am are just as far as they once were close. even my brain doesnt work in the metaphor, impressmrdepeter simile confusion it once used to corrode my down time. if there was such a thing...
and tomorrow i have three tests and ones in piano. i have to play bach. little prelude in F. i think if you saw it you'd laugh at me because its so easy for you. like everything else. but its hard and im angry i have to play it. and angry that i have to wake up early to practice. and angry that i dont have a cigarette. and angry that i want to quit aand dont want to quit. i dont want to. i should, though. but shoulds dont help. and im angry were so far apart. and would be even if we were near eachother. but mpstly im angry because this velvetypotatosoup is far more disgusting than i anticipated, and the wheathins arent even low fat or low sodium.
yuck.
i guess.
trying to get some bible reading in. trying not to fail my courses. trying so hard to slip this rain frm my brain, the grey from the pain, so everything is red and pink again. innards celebrating valentines day - the day i quit you and started smoking a pack every few days. you think if i quit smoking i could pick you pack up again? my other valentine habit. then inside'll be all pink and red again. lungs rejuvenated. taste buds less dulled, more picky. and boys in the complete back of my mind.
back then i used a microwave only for exploding marshmallows and splattering hot chocolate. back then we used phrases like bag of saliva, bloody sunday, and i think i fell, i need a bandaid and yours is the closest place i know to here. back then you were the closest thing to here.
and now you and clove cigarettes and marijuana in an attic and rings that look like elephants and drawing on your mothers grocery list at 2 am are just as far as they once were close. even my brain doesnt work in the metaphor, impressmrdepeter simile confusion it once used to corrode my down time. if there was such a thing...
and tomorrow i have three tests and ones in piano. i have to play bach. little prelude in F. i think if you saw it you'd laugh at me because its so easy for you. like everything else. but its hard and im angry i have to play it. and angry that i have to wake up early to practice. and angry that i dont have a cigarette. and angry that i want to quit aand dont want to quit. i dont want to. i should, though. but shoulds dont help. and im angry were so far apart. and would be even if we were near eachother. but mpstly im angry because this velvetypotatosoup is far more disgusting than i anticipated, and the wheathins arent even low fat or low sodium.
yuck.