maturity? or another front
i'm moody atm... not really sure why, think it may just be sitting here doin not a lot is making me tired and agro.
i'm stumbling through life having these things happen to me at the moment. not necessarily awesome things and not necessarily bad things.... just things. i could probably turn most of these things into really good things if i knew what i wanted. i signed my contract at work today which means that money really shouldn't be a problem for me, for a while anyway. but me being the anal goal setting person i am is treating this as another worry. i don't wanna waste this situation. do i buy a new car now while my old one is still in one peice and worth SOMETHING. do i save up for a deposit on a house? for some reason i have this aversion to being on the dole and paying other ppl's mortgage by renting. if i have to do either which and some time in my life i'll have to do both, i'd much prefer it be for as short a period as possible.
anyway i think i'll just save as much as i can and decide later. either way i'm not gonna move out for a while it looks like (maybe june) and this roster means that partying constantly is not an option. i'm treating this as a blessing in desguise. this also allows me to take a break from partying and getting drunk and whatever with the same ppl, doin the same stupid things and floating around goin no-where.
in the last couple of days i've spent a bit of time at home, alone, something i havn't done for a while. i used to cherish my time in the house alone during the day but of late i have spent every minute running around being social. while i LOVE this, lets face it anyone who knows me knows i THRIVE on it. but i can't run like that forever. every so often i need to step back and assess. at least when i go and make the same mistakes again i know why, and have no excuse. no one is harder on me than me, to the point where sometimes ppl start believing that i blame myself as a cop out. but lets face it until i realise that i have been or continue to be a retard i'm not gonna listen to anyone else.
ok off the self degradation train.
in other news i feel that i'm doin more behind the scenes with the band than actually with them. and thats not anything bad against anyone. we felt at a good place before i buggared off overseas, and amost took a big leap back having to gel again after 6 weeks. also getting a possitive reastion at the first show and wasting it by not taking advantage of it and playing more straight away did us a disservice. but for some strange reason Sarah De Borre (headwealth on PBS 106.7) has decided to give us a hand. She has given us advise on what to do and where to go, may start booking shows if she likes us next time she sees us (like thats not enough pressure for a second show, and is in the process of hooking up us playing live to air on PBS in early to mid march. this live to air will be recorded and mastered for demo purposes. this along side her contacts means that sarah is making an invaluable contribution. way more than we deserve. oh well fingers crossed Cadence go somewhere.
i noticed something wierd the other day, mandy says this is a terrible story, coz he's heard it twice already and no one else seems interested, but i've noticed a strange thing about me and relationships. since i was 19 i have never bin single on my b'day (nov 21st), and yet since i broke up with someone just before valentines day 2001, i have never spent valentines day with a "special someone" (vomiting noises). wierd. not that i give a toss bout valentines day but it just seems a coincidence that something always happens between nov and feb that i don't hold onto someone. maybe i should take something away from this.
love yez all mate
i'm stumbling through life having these things happen to me at the moment. not necessarily awesome things and not necessarily bad things.... just things. i could probably turn most of these things into really good things if i knew what i wanted. i signed my contract at work today which means that money really shouldn't be a problem for me, for a while anyway. but me being the anal goal setting person i am is treating this as another worry. i don't wanna waste this situation. do i buy a new car now while my old one is still in one peice and worth SOMETHING. do i save up for a deposit on a house? for some reason i have this aversion to being on the dole and paying other ppl's mortgage by renting. if i have to do either which and some time in my life i'll have to do both, i'd much prefer it be for as short a period as possible.
anyway i think i'll just save as much as i can and decide later. either way i'm not gonna move out for a while it looks like (maybe june) and this roster means that partying constantly is not an option. i'm treating this as a blessing in desguise. this also allows me to take a break from partying and getting drunk and whatever with the same ppl, doin the same stupid things and floating around goin no-where.
in the last couple of days i've spent a bit of time at home, alone, something i havn't done for a while. i used to cherish my time in the house alone during the day but of late i have spent every minute running around being social. while i LOVE this, lets face it anyone who knows me knows i THRIVE on it. but i can't run like that forever. every so often i need to step back and assess. at least when i go and make the same mistakes again i know why, and have no excuse. no one is harder on me than me, to the point where sometimes ppl start believing that i blame myself as a cop out. but lets face it until i realise that i have been or continue to be a retard i'm not gonna listen to anyone else.
ok off the self degradation train.
in other news i feel that i'm doin more behind the scenes with the band than actually with them. and thats not anything bad against anyone. we felt at a good place before i buggared off overseas, and amost took a big leap back having to gel again after 6 weeks. also getting a possitive reastion at the first show and wasting it by not taking advantage of it and playing more straight away did us a disservice. but for some strange reason Sarah De Borre (headwealth on PBS 106.7) has decided to give us a hand. She has given us advise on what to do and where to go, may start booking shows if she likes us next time she sees us (like thats not enough pressure for a second show, and is in the process of hooking up us playing live to air on PBS in early to mid march. this live to air will be recorded and mastered for demo purposes. this along side her contacts means that sarah is making an invaluable contribution. way more than we deserve. oh well fingers crossed Cadence go somewhere.
i noticed something wierd the other day, mandy says this is a terrible story, coz he's heard it twice already and no one else seems interested, but i've noticed a strange thing about me and relationships. since i was 19 i have never bin single on my b'day (nov 21st), and yet since i broke up with someone just before valentines day 2001, i have never spent valentines day with a "special someone" (vomiting noises). wierd. not that i give a toss bout valentines day but it just seems a coincidence that something always happens between nov and feb that i don't hold onto someone. maybe i should take something away from this.
love yez all mate