Trying to Find the Answer
Maybe someone can help me with this.... I know that I have ask a few people, but I still don't know if I should or not. I didn’t think that it would be a problem, but I guess it is. I meet him on online, on MySpace.com. Before September, we were talking all the time and I liked it. In October, we meet up at Knott’s Scary Farm. Everything was cool. I went to Knott’s Scary Farm like three times. OMG it was FUN!!... But anyways, After that we started to talk more and more. It was to the point that we talked like EVERY night. I most like that, that was a plus. Then in November, we decided to become a couple. But the thing is, He lives in Lake Elsanore and I live in the Orange County. Yea, that’s some what a long distance. We don’t see each other as much as we want… but, when we do see each other we are happy together. The thing is that I have notice is he only comes up to see me when he has to do something else - When he wants to go to Disneyland, when he was to go to Knott’s, when he has dinner plans with his other friends. He never comes up to just see me. The last two weeks, he has been “ trying” to come up to see me, but some thing always happens and there is not a single phone call to tell me that he can’t. So I’m here left with the impression that he coming. So I get all happy, yea lately I have not been so happy. There are people around me that can see it to. They can see it in my eyes that I’m not happy. Me-“I’ve never felt so alone, I’ve never felt so unhappy.”
I know when was the first time that I started to think this way, was when I had a dream. I know that a dream is nothing but a dream sometimes. To me, my dreams (if I can remember them) mean something to me.
My Dream:
It started as I see all my friends and his friends at a Bon-Fire Beach Party. Everyone was there that I knew and he knew. I was happy. Him and I went for a walk on the beach, we walked for sometime. We stopped and looked out to the sea. He told me turn and to hold out my hand, so I did. I looked at his face and he was crying. The thing that he put back in my hand was the first thing that I bought for him. A pin from Disneyland. He told me what I first told him when I gave it to him “ Here’s your heart back.”
Once he said that, I woke up and started to cry. That night, I think that I was only asleep for like 40 min. not sure, but I didn’t want to go back to sleep. I was scared to fall back asleep.**CRYS**
There are so many issues, in what I have seen too. When he starts school, he’s not going to have anytime for “us”. All the he will have time for is work, school, and homework. There are times that I think that I know that I will be in the way because I would want to see him and spend time with him. Ok you know what, I’m just going to list them for you.
1. Distance
2. School
3. Work
4. Hiding from his family and call me his friend.
5. Hiding who I am to some.
6. Only coming up to see me when there is something else involved.
7. Always being in trouble with his father and not being able to go out.
(Bad enough they work together)
8. More effort to go to other places then to come see me.
I know that I have gone out to see him more times that he has to come me, I the one that “IS” making the effort to go out there and see him. This up coming Thursday, he rather go to a club in Riverside then coming to see me. AFTER he knows that I get out of work at 1 pm and he doesn’t work at all that day. “GRR”
What I have noticed is that I’m hurting myself by being with him. I think anyways, not sure. That’s why I need some more help and advice on this. Should I still talk to him more and try to fix things or should I end what I have.
Thanks,
Trying to find the Answer.
I know when was the first time that I started to think this way, was when I had a dream. I know that a dream is nothing but a dream sometimes. To me, my dreams (if I can remember them) mean something to me.
My Dream:
It started as I see all my friends and his friends at a Bon-Fire Beach Party. Everyone was there that I knew and he knew. I was happy. Him and I went for a walk on the beach, we walked for sometime. We stopped and looked out to the sea. He told me turn and to hold out my hand, so I did. I looked at his face and he was crying. The thing that he put back in my hand was the first thing that I bought for him. A pin from Disneyland. He told me what I first told him when I gave it to him “ Here’s your heart back.”
Once he said that, I woke up and started to cry. That night, I think that I was only asleep for like 40 min. not sure, but I didn’t want to go back to sleep. I was scared to fall back asleep.**CRYS**
There are so many issues, in what I have seen too. When he starts school, he’s not going to have anytime for “us”. All the he will have time for is work, school, and homework. There are times that I think that I know that I will be in the way because I would want to see him and spend time with him. Ok you know what, I’m just going to list them for you.
1. Distance
2. School
3. Work
4. Hiding from his family and call me his friend.
5. Hiding who I am to some.
6. Only coming up to see me when there is something else involved.
7. Always being in trouble with his father and not being able to go out.
(Bad enough they work together)
8. More effort to go to other places then to come see me.
I know that I have gone out to see him more times that he has to come me, I the one that “IS” making the effort to go out there and see him. This up coming Thursday, he rather go to a club in Riverside then coming to see me. AFTER he knows that I get out of work at 1 pm and he doesn’t work at all that day. “GRR”
What I have noticed is that I’m hurting myself by being with him. I think anyways, not sure. That’s why I need some more help and advice on this. Should I still talk to him more and try to fix things or should I end what I have.
Thanks,
Trying to find the Answer.