If you ever think of me, let it be around twilight
It is 20 February. That means it is certainly too late, and too unoriginal, to post a review of 2008. Too things that never stopped me from doing a P&L account.
Gains:
A beautiful new baby son
Reuben Gordon Laurence Parish, born 21 July 2008. An absolutely gorgeous baby boy, even if I do say so myself. And actually, I wouldn't say so myself if it weren't so. Having said that, his habit of sleeping soundly at most times during daylight hours but not otherwise is becoming a bit wearing. Good thing he's so cute.
Most people who say him say "He's so beautiful". Then they say "He looks just like you". I have yet to find anybody who can explain how these two mutually exclusive statements can both be true. Answers on a dooberry, please.
An awful new London Mayor
OK, I admit it, Boris Johnson has not been as bad as I had feared. When he was first elected, he aroused my worst fears in no time. When asked about his pledge to plant 10,000 trees, and what kind they would be, he said something along the lines of "I don't know. But they'll be good strong trees. None of these weedy saplings." Dear God, thought I. We've elected a mayor who doesn't even know that trees have to go through the sapling stage before they grow into fully-grown trees. But in fairness he hasn't done a great deal wrong since then, although I find his pointless and totally cosmetic posturing about building a new new airport in the Thames Estuary both pointless and infuriating. Show me anyone who really thinks that's realistic (even a Tory) and I'll show you a successful British tennis player. And no, crashing out of a Grand Slam in the fourth round doesn't count.
£217 at poker
I have finally worked out how to beat this game. Following a few losses, my last three sessions have been +£60, +£80 and +£62. Many of these have required no skills whatsoever (exhibit number 1: the £83 pot I made when I pulled a straight flush on the river) but at some stage it dawned on me that if you don't throw lots of money down the toilet on the hands that aren't actually as good as they seem then you don't need to be embarrassed when you win lots of money when others let you stay in for hands on the cheap which then fall into your lap. Simple.
About four pounds in weight
I gained these over the course of the year and found them impossible to shed. But they seem to have magically disappeared in 2009, along with two of their friends.
One Champions League
After the new son, this was my best night of the year. My croquet club is technically in Fulham, but being on the fringes of Chelsea it was still probably the only bar in Chelsea in which I could have got away with wearing my Manchester United shirt to watch the Champions League final. Croquet player and all-round good bloke Rob turned up to watch it with me (despite being disinterested in the result). I can still watch the shoot-out on youtube and be amazed that we won. That was one heck of a night. Had we lost, I hope I would have been as magnanimous in defeat as the Chelsea fans in the bar were. Instead, I have a nasty feeling that I was so delighted I kissed Rob. Still, I bought him enough drinks afterwards to make up for it. Which, as you can imagine, was quite a few.
Losses:
An awful American President
Not sure if I should comment on this, given that I'm not a U.S. citizen, but all I can say, in line with the rather too accurate Big Country song, is "He’s a drinkin’, huntin’, shootin’, fishin’ son of a gun". And God bless you GWB, wherever you are.
6 places in the UK croquet rankings
Not entirely sure what happened here. I seemed to be playing every shot, in general, better than I did in 2007. In particular my rushing, which is key, improved no end. And yet an ability to fluff shots that I know I can play really well (like short roquets and easy hoops) has undone all the good work. Hence I am now 62nd in the UK rankings where I was 56th. Where's my lucky charm when I need one?
A dedicated room to serve as my study.
Gone, gone, gone (done moved on). See point one above.
That was 2008 in highlights.
Nick
Playlist: Republican Party Reptile - Big Country, dedicated to George W Bush (for the last time).
The Better To Dream of You - Mary Chapin Carpenter. Not dedicated to George W Bush, you will not be surprised to hear.
Romeo & Juliet - Dire Straits.
Gains:
A beautiful new baby son
Reuben Gordon Laurence Parish, born 21 July 2008. An absolutely gorgeous baby boy, even if I do say so myself. And actually, I wouldn't say so myself if it weren't so. Having said that, his habit of sleeping soundly at most times during daylight hours but not otherwise is becoming a bit wearing. Good thing he's so cute.
Most people who say him say "He's so beautiful". Then they say "He looks just like you". I have yet to find anybody who can explain how these two mutually exclusive statements can both be true. Answers on a dooberry, please.
An awful new London Mayor
OK, I admit it, Boris Johnson has not been as bad as I had feared. When he was first elected, he aroused my worst fears in no time. When asked about his pledge to plant 10,000 trees, and what kind they would be, he said something along the lines of "I don't know. But they'll be good strong trees. None of these weedy saplings." Dear God, thought I. We've elected a mayor who doesn't even know that trees have to go through the sapling stage before they grow into fully-grown trees. But in fairness he hasn't done a great deal wrong since then, although I find his pointless and totally cosmetic posturing about building a new new airport in the Thames Estuary both pointless and infuriating. Show me anyone who really thinks that's realistic (even a Tory) and I'll show you a successful British tennis player. And no, crashing out of a Grand Slam in the fourth round doesn't count.
£217 at poker
I have finally worked out how to beat this game. Following a few losses, my last three sessions have been +£60, +£80 and +£62. Many of these have required no skills whatsoever (exhibit number 1: the £83 pot I made when I pulled a straight flush on the river) but at some stage it dawned on me that if you don't throw lots of money down the toilet on the hands that aren't actually as good as they seem then you don't need to be embarrassed when you win lots of money when others let you stay in for hands on the cheap which then fall into your lap. Simple.
About four pounds in weight
I gained these over the course of the year and found them impossible to shed. But they seem to have magically disappeared in 2009, along with two of their friends.
One Champions League
After the new son, this was my best night of the year. My croquet club is technically in Fulham, but being on the fringes of Chelsea it was still probably the only bar in Chelsea in which I could have got away with wearing my Manchester United shirt to watch the Champions League final. Croquet player and all-round good bloke Rob turned up to watch it with me (despite being disinterested in the result). I can still watch the shoot-out on youtube and be amazed that we won. That was one heck of a night. Had we lost, I hope I would have been as magnanimous in defeat as the Chelsea fans in the bar were. Instead, I have a nasty feeling that I was so delighted I kissed Rob. Still, I bought him enough drinks afterwards to make up for it. Which, as you can imagine, was quite a few.
Losses:
An awful American President
Not sure if I should comment on this, given that I'm not a U.S. citizen, but all I can say, in line with the rather too accurate Big Country song, is "He’s a drinkin’, huntin’, shootin’, fishin’ son of a gun". And God bless you GWB, wherever you are.
6 places in the UK croquet rankings
Not entirely sure what happened here. I seemed to be playing every shot, in general, better than I did in 2007. In particular my rushing, which is key, improved no end. And yet an ability to fluff shots that I know I can play really well (like short roquets and easy hoops) has undone all the good work. Hence I am now 62nd in the UK rankings where I was 56th. Where's my lucky charm when I need one?
A dedicated room to serve as my study.
Gone, gone, gone (done moved on). See point one above.
That was 2008 in highlights.
Nick
Playlist: Republican Party Reptile - Big Country, dedicated to George W Bush (for the last time).
The Better To Dream of You - Mary Chapin Carpenter. Not dedicated to George W Bush, you will not be surprised to hear.
Romeo & Juliet - Dire Straits.